Pᴀʀᴀɴᴏɪᴅ

I don’t know why I get so cold; things change and so do I, I'm Evelyn Toro though this is my story on how I was introduced into the grimy world I lived in. November of 2015 in Providence, Rhode Island, but we call it “Prov” or “Pothole city” though it didn’t matter when you were caught up the streets of war. I was only sixteen when I started this game of chess, though I always had to learned to be one step ahead, I went to Central High school home of the knights, I was a Junior I mostly hangout with girls, yet I had boys who welcomed me as one of the guys. I played corner when I played for the cowboys as girl, and you’ll never catch me in a skirt, though football was a game of strategy so was the streets on the southside, it was Thursday night that changed my life. I was supposed to visit my friend's house, instead I went to see this guy I was trying to hook up with, though as I was going to his place, I noticed one this kid I’m cool with were going to call him ‘Xion’, Xion was just walking in the middle of the night, I decided to walk with him as he was heading toward a house.

“What’s the word?”

“Go home Eve, you not coming with me” Xion spoke.

“Why are you acting like that bro?”

“I’m telling you right now, you cannot hang with me” replied Xion.

Before he could say more, all I heard was popping sounds coming around the corner, he grabbed my arm we started running up a hill making our way into alleyways. Xion pulled out a clip, loaded a Smith & Wesson he had in his coat pocket, he was ready to shoot until he checked to see if the car was still following us. He puts the gun back in his pocket to guide me where he was going, we passed by the Village and made our way to Clown town, Clown town was the projects located in the Southside, that’s where I grew up. We went inside one the trap houses he was familiar with, frankly I knew only a couple of these homes belonged to, yet I never think I would step foot into any of them. The most of heard what happened in those places were that either that’s where you hide out from Opps and run trains at with females who was known to mess with everybody on the block. Plus, they were mostly abandoned buildings, we made our way inside one of the houses going up the second floor, Xion enters a room where pulls a piece of wood out of the floorboard. And pulls out more ammunition for his gun he was carrying, I knew I was too nosey, honestly, I should have minded my own business, because maybe things would turned out differently if I didn’t ask him.

“Xion let me help you”

“How you going to help me exactly Eve?” jested Xion.

“Let me in on what you're doing Xion”

“That’s not gonna happen” replied Xion.

“I can see there’s another gun right there, just let me help”

Xion was obviously getting annoyed at my constant demands, though he knew that once I was in this job he did, that I’m in it. Xion pulled out another gun from the floorboard, giving me a clip with it, I honestly didn’t know how to use it. I never knew how heavy the gun was until he gave me it, though I knew I needed it in order to do what we needed to do. He grabbed two ski masks and gave me one once he headed out the door, we made our way walking making sure nobody seen us, we walked all the way where Roger Williams Homes was, we went toward the entrance where cars were parked, pitch black outside it was perfect for what we needed to do. Xion knew who shot at him, I just didn’t know he was gonna go to the extreme to find them right after they shot at us. We crept slowly up to the project complexes, making our way to each apartment number, once Xion saw the door he needed to seek my fate was sealed right there in that moment, he kicked in the door my heart was still. We both ran inside he shot two men on the spot in their chest, they both collapsed on the ground, the swift quickness of Xion was extremely incredible & just fierce. I didn’t hear anyone coming down from upstairs, I shot at the person and it was just a guy, to this day I can only see that man’s face, because no matter how many people you kill their face doesn’t come in recognition, no recollection of what they look like, all you can remember is the first kill you made. Xion went to the back to where the kitchen was and seen a duffle bag, he grabbed it and we both ran out the apartment quickly as possible. I knew the neighbors heard shots, so we made our way to the bus stop, waiting for public transportation, we took off our masks and made our way inside the bus. My mind is just still trying to comprehend what happened while we were in the bus, though now I knew that the path I chose was toward the underground of crime.

From that point on I was selling so much with Xion it was amazing, it was weed soon after we were pushing pills, fentanyl and all the other things you could think of. Though I didn’t want to, yet we were making money off, soon after other people wanted to join us as well. So, we put people onto the business, everybody was able to eat and make this paper. By the time it was 2017 we were living, all the money you could think of was all to us, and certain people were envious of the necessities we were given by hustling so much, but it is what is either you're at the table or on the table. Though that’s when things started to get shaky, we would have run ins with the cops, to rivals selling more product than we do, though it never bothered Xion once I knew how he played the game, because we would always be a move ahead before anybody. It was like a game of chess, and Xion knew how to play it though it wouldn’t last. I remember that July 10th in 2017, I didn’t see Xion all day long yesterday, that’s not until I noticed something peculiar when I went to the trap house we always worked from. There was a suspicious package wrapped in brown paper, I took the package inside the house made my way upstairs where Xion and I would always re-up on our supplies & product. I grabbed my pocketknife and cut open the package, I found what would confirm that this game has no love for you, what I would find in this package would be Xion’s identification card inside smeared with blood. Whoever did this sent a message letting me know that what had happened to him has already been taken in motion, all I could do was really be silent & calm knowing that there was nothing that could bring him back. Couple days later Xion’s body was found in the east-side of providence, where he was tied up to a tree, there were no signs of struggle, authorities said, from the looks of it he was already gone once he was tied up on a tree. Though I remembered every little thing Xion taught about hustling in this game, it only made me colder for it, it only wanted me to go harder than I did for it. I knew his killers were still out there one day I’m gonna see them and handle them myself. If I get dealt with then it was my time to go as well, all that was important to me was it’s all part of the game, and I just needed to play my cards right.