Minus One
A Microfiction challenge entry - A story in 88 words
You winked at me over Monday Night Football. I smiled and drank stale beer. You courted me with roses and chocolates. I vowed forever. You hated the Ramen I kept on the table. You ate it anyway. Graduation and promotions. We moved to the suburbs. I forgot what your face looked like. You joined the country club. I learned how to play tennis. You hired another new secretary. I followed you to that motel. You used that degree to court me again. I smiled and drink stale beer.
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Morpheus is way too calm for my liking. He sits there, paws crossed, relaxed facial muscles. This guy has a poker face like Danny Ocean. I need to get him riled up, entice him to react. I shimmy a few feet to my left and stop on a dime, panting heavy.
By Dana Stewartabout a year ago in Fiction
Comments (10)
88 words, but a lifetime together. Excellent piece, Dana.
Subtle statements like: I learned how to play tennis, after writing: You joined the country club say a lot in really few words. Good work!
This is beautiful!!
So many relationships described in 88 words! Well done my friend ❤️
"I forgot what your face looked like" yet "I smiled and drink stale beer" again at the end. This describes the ups and downs of relationships so well - simply and beautifully. Reading this was a journey; also comforting. I really, really loved this!
I like that you said stale beer. it really added to the story. once again you did it.
Oh wow, so very real, and what a use of such limited words to tell a story spanning so much time! Loved it!
Oof, this one stung. You wrote a cycle of years in so few words. Beautifully done!
Oh I loved how you created this whole story that kind of came full circle and with such a cool form. Excellent entry!!
Nicely done 👍👌