Me Agin, Sissy!

Note: This story will make more sense if you've read the first one, here: https://vocal.media/fiction/deer-sissy

Deer Sissy,

It's me agin. I figgered I better rite and give ya the whyfer on that last letter gittin to ya so late.

Everbody on the hill had a mess up with their mail for a spell. Seems cuzin Jerry jes went plum missin and nobody wuz gittn any letters and the ones they put in their boxes wasn't goin nowhere. Sheriff Blake cum around and said sumthin about a search party so I went along, cuz a party sounded like fun. It wernt.

Turned out we wuz jes goin to look fer Jerry. We found his ole black pickup truck parked out by Grammas place. The Sheriff banged on the front door fer a while but there wernt no noise from inside. They wuz talkin about brakin it down, but I no Gramma don't never lock it, so I jes turnt the nob and meandered in.

I swar, I ain't never gunna git the pitcher of that room outa my brain. There was cuzin Jerry layin atop of the table that wuz all broke down flat and he was squirmin trynna git out from under Gramma and she was passed out cold. And both of them had lost their drawers. (I'm gittin kinda tired of knowin what folkses beehinds look like and cuzin Jerrys lil ole sausage danglin out thar dint hep none.)

We sent fer Doc, acourse, and he said they wuz both ok, but purty deehy dehide thirsty. I hear theys both reecoo recooper all better now.

Pappy had got back down from heppin Uncle Eddy, so hes drivin the mail til cuzin Jerry gits back on his feet. I think that means when he wants to show his face agin. Anyhow I think this letter will git to you quicker.

I seen Suzy Cox yestiddy and she tole me her pappy said shes gittin hitched to Buddy Jones next week. Funny thing, I reecalled Buddy had one a them things on his lip a coupla months ago. Momma said I dodged a bullit, but I dunno what that means. I do no I wuz rite about you bein too good fer Buddy.

Speekin a Momma, She sez to tell you to hurry up and git yer butt home. I ain't her favrit now, cuz the hoof nippers slipped when I wuz trimmin her toenails and nipped a little off'n her big toe. I dunno why shes so goldurn mad, it only bled fer a coupla minits til I found an open jar of shine and a rag.

So that's all fer now, sept I really wish you'd hurry up and git yer fanny home too. I dont mind doin yer share a the chores or nuthin. I'm jes missin my Sissy and I snuck a jar outa the pantry so's we kin split it. Figgered we could sneak up ta Injun Rock and sit up thar on it and you kin tell me all about yer advin advench the stuff you done.

Gotta go, Momma's yellin!

Luv,

Yer Bro

***

I had so much fun with my first entry for Heather's Write me a letter challenge, I decided to send the second one from the same guy.