Maelpris
#microfiction
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The silence in the air lay thick, draped across snowy lake shores and towering pines. A frozen wonderland, untouched. Gabriel stood slack-jawed, his gaze glued to the phone and not the beauty surrounding him. Two simple words stared back.
We're pregnant.
Years of tests and treatments and disappointment, and now Sarah was finally pregnant.
He had no idea she planned to test today or he never would've left. That's probably why she didn't tell him. This was his final hike planned for the season, and his beautiful wife didn't have the heart to deny him.
God love her. She was too good for him. And he knew it. But for some reason, she chose him and he chose her right back.
Gabriel hastily swiped at his tear-stained cheeks, forcing his frozen fingers to type a reply.
Love you both. Be there soon.
He quickly grabbed his poles, turning toward the iced-over lake. His mind spun sifting through all the things they'd need to get ready for the baby.
His child.
A huge smile stole across his face. He couldn't wait to celebrate.
~
The bang of a car door roused Sarah from her nap. It took a moment to realize night had fallen and the house was dark.
Gabriel.
She flew to the window desperate to see his jeep in the drive only to catch Officer Jones climbing the steps. One look at his haunted expression, and time slowed as she broke.
Her husband was never coming home.
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Comments (21)
Oh, this is heartbreaking! Great work. You have a talent for microfiction- your pacing is wonderful for the limited space that you are allowed.
I remember this one and it hit me just as hard when I read it again. Note: Go edit out the last notes as per the Challenge rules In order for your submission to qualify, it must: Be exactly 250 words in length (the body of the text, not including the title or subheading). Do not include author's notes in the body.
Oh, this is perfect this this challenge. Great entry. I just recently something similary (okay, maybe not that similar). I think I need to add some snow. hmmmm.
:( I don’t like that word! Great idea and moving micro!! ☺️👏👏
OMG!!! That was gut wrenchingly good. Wow. What a word!!!
Firstly, how did I miss this? Secondly, I kinda wish I had. That was heartbreaking. Incredible writing, my friend. Sorry you missed the challenge.
Oh, my heart! 🥺❤️ My dear friend, your words simply take us to another place. This is so well done!
I am so sorry this didn't make the deadline for the challenge, this would have been a great contender! My stomach sank at the end when the officers showed up... Way to make it too good to be true and take it away from us! Amazing writing, Heather!
And that ladies and gentlemen is one of the reasons why I don't wanna get married or have kids. Like why would I put myself in that risk, right? My heart goes out to the unborn baby. Not it's fault at all but it's gotta grow up without a father 🥺 Loved your story my fear friend!
Oh my. This was heartbreaking, Heather, but your story perfectly depicted this fantastic word! I absolutely love your definition. Glad you decided to publish even though you missed the deadline. I could see this word rolling off my tongue. Great job!
As a veteran myself this does indeed hit a gut punch. Great writing handled well.
Well, you just broke my heart! The ending felt like a punch to the stomach. Very well done.
Ohhh, the excitement that you built up to that moment with the bang of the car door, I could hear it with your words, the ending- oh no! Powerful and heartbreaking
Oh no 🙉. Not only did you show the word so eloquently, you made us all feel it; because once we read the end, our hearts were broken and there was no going back ❤️
Ah, such a good evocation of your word.
Challenge or no challenge, a wonderful story. Glad you posted it.
Noooooo Make him get home 🥲
I'm glad you still posted this one. There may be many stories like this with the upcoming winter.
Utterly heartbreaking.
oooooof stab to the heart!! Beautifully written, Heather!
Compelling and articulate story Heather. Webster s dictionary should be calling soon. 🥰