Jolly Roger

Seawater filled my mouth, and I swallowed the warm green brine of the Caribbean as another wave buried me. The Sweet Lucy's main mast, flying the skull and crossbones, appeared over a swell. With the next, the pirate schooner disappeared out of sight. "Fun in the tropics," Joey, my friend, had said, "let's play pirate like the days of old on the high seas, drink rum, and sing sea shanties." He sang and danced a jig. But when th' Black Baller gets clear o' th' land. W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down! "Come on, Jolly, let's have some fun."

It was a great idea until we discovered The Blue Water Pirate Adventure hadn't disclosed they were actual pirates, and we were their intended victims.

Helpless, I floated without land in sight and knew my life was in jeopardy. I deserved it since I had failed to protect my friend. Survival depended on how long my strength would hold out, the currents, sharks, and luck. I loved the water but preferred to be home rather than bobbing like fish bait in the ocean. Tears filled my eyes when I realized I would never see my friend Joey again. Survival instinct drove me to kick my feet toward the falling sun, hoping to find land. During the day, the sun burned me, and now it abandoned me to eerie dark silence.

The sea shimmered like jade in the dark while the stars above winked their mockery at my plight. I jerked and thrashed about when my legs were struck by an assailant unknown. Fears of a sea monster closing in for dinner racked my mind, but it didn't return. Exhausted, I resigned myself to die and stopped paddling. I surrendered to the inevitable and sank. At that moment, the sun peeked over the horizon to illuminate foamy surf rolling onto a white beach. Am I delirious or is it land? I wondered.

Coconut trees stood before elevated hills above the beach as the ocean accelerated my body forward. A bully wave slammed me onto the sand. Spent and confused, I collapsed on the gritty beach where I rested for the first time in twenty-four hours.

Freshwater scents woke me and teased my nostrils. I rose on wobbly legs, shook the water from my golden fur, and followed my nose. My sticky tongue lolled out the side of my mouth, panting for water. Hot sand burned the cracked pads of my feet from overexposure to salt. I limped past the Coconut trees rimming the beach toward the scrub trees that guarded the hills above.

In the distance, a roar of cascading water tickled my ears. Encouraged, I stumbled up a hill to its crest, where a waterfall spilled into a clear blue pool below. Excited and desperate, I tried to run down the embankment but slipped and slid butt-first into a freshwater lagoon. I barked in primal satisfaction but could only muster a wheeze from my parched throat.

Lapping the cool water until my stomach was full, I lounged under a rock ledge until late in the day. Darkness fell, and I discovered a new demon to fight, hunger. Mercifully, I fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of my Ward, Joey.

On my last day aboard the Sweet Lucy, a Stinky pirate grabbed my collar and tied me to the mast. The nasty pirate needed a bath. Joey, my human Ward, lay bound in ropes on the main deck. The mystical black box he carried everywhere lay on the deck before him. I didn't like the light box because Joey worshipped it and forgot about everything else for hours. My dinner, my walks, and our playtime were interrupted. A Loud Man pirate screamed harsh words at Joey. Defiant, my Ward said "No." Loud Man struck Joey in the head with a bat, and blood ran down his face. I jerked hard at the tether, bared my teeth, and barked until Stinky kicked me in the ribs to shut me up. I heard the Pirates say, "Money." When Joey used the word, he smelled of worry. I knew money made people feel different ways. They were happy, sad, mad, or worried. Today my Ward reeked of terror as he surrendered to the Loud man and tapped a finger on the box, and the light on the box's window changed. I sensed a tempered hope in my Ward as he begged for mercy from the pirates. His pleading reminded me of my whimpers as a pup after pooping in the house.

Loud Man struck Joey in the head again, and he collapsed to the deck. Both pirates turned to me. The Loud man pointed and said, "Money?" and Stinky shook his head no. Angry, the Loud man threw a blanket over me and tossed me into the sea.

***

Under the ledge, I woke whimpering from the memory. Hunger spasms in my stomach competed with the agony in my mind as the loss of Joey haunted me. Ashamed of my failure, I imagined my Golden Retriever ancestors judged me harshly from across the Rainbow Bridge.

Blood, the most primal scent on earth, wafted through the air, and I charged toward it, hoping to find food. I came upon a clearing in the tropical foliage to find a beige cat ten times the size I'd ever seen with a rabbit in its mouth. I growled and inched forward, desperate to steal its meal. It's just a cat, I thought. Fear tactics worked with the alley cats that roamed about home. Charge them, and they would run.

This cat stared with large disc eyes, dropped the rabbit, and launched into me with its massive paws. The impact drove me backward into a tree. I realized this cat wasn't fighting for the rabbit but for a bigger and better meal, me. The cat pounced again, and our bodies collided. My teeth found purchase with his neck, and he roared. I felt the urge to pee. Angry, he slapped at my snout with his claws. His blood and mine dripped off my muzzle. He circled to find an opening. Backing up, I slipped into a grass-covered hole, twisted my rear legs, and fell to the ground. I couldn't believe I'd survived Stinky the pirate and the ocean monsters to be eaten by a cat. A cat!

The sleek feline slinked in for the final kill when an excruciating shriek came from the tree above. A massive green and gold bird streaked through the air and struck the cat in the face with its claws. The Parrot flew away, circled as feathers floated to the ground, and the aviator struck the cat again. After the third violent air assault, the bewildered cat retreated, took his rabbit, and fled from the field of battle.

I pulled my hind legs from the hole and flopped in pain. The giant bird fluttered to the ground and marched toward me. His left wing was bent awkwardly. Where am I? Monster cats and birds were fighting over me. Is this Jurassic Park?

"That was close, mate," said the Parrot, "For sure, you were almost a goner."

I growled and bared my blooded teeth.

"That's the thanks I get. I saved your life and all you can do is speak barbaric nothings. That growl is what almost got you killed, Dog!"

Baffled that I could understand him, I didn't know what to do.

"If you understand my Kingdom Speak then let's start by you nodding your head up and down," the Parrot said.

I nodded.

"Here a lesson for you. If you understand me then you can speak as well. It might take some practice," the Parrot said, "Before humans degraded our world Servants of the animal kingdom spoke this language."

A stirring rose in my mind of something long forgotten from the deep recesses of my instincts. An odd sound formed in my throat, and I croaked, "Yes."

"Excellent. Thank the sun above that you aren't one of those stupid dogs. Some I've met chased their tails for lunch and wondered why they were tired and hungry at dinner," the Parrot said.

"Who?" I said.

"Who am I? I am Roger. Roger this, roger that, roger out. What's your name?"

The name given to me by Joey came to my mind.

"Jol…ly," I said, "Jolly."

"Well, aren't we the Jolly Roger together," said Roger and squawked, rolled on the ground, and beat his wings. "Pirates of the sea we shall be. Hoist the sail, Matie, raise the skull and crossbones, and let's plunder the treasures on the high seas."

Angry, I stood and growled.

"You don't sound very Jolly to me," said Roger.

"Not funny."

"A bit sensitive are you? Was your grandpappy a pirate? Is that it?"

"Pi…Pi-rates have my Joey, my Ward. I don't know if he’s alive or dead."

"Well, aren't you a whimpering mutt? Are you going to whine and sulk or find him? You just fought off a Cougar. Dog up, Dog!"

***

I learned from Roger that he had traveled to the forest to visit his old flock. I suspect it was a girlfriend. His Ward, a fisherman in the village, lived on the other end of the island. Animals of the world were divided into two parts, the Wilds and the Servants. The Wilds were barbaric and heartless. Servant animals had been granted Kingdom Speak and were the caretakers of humans. Servants taught love and compassion. They had quietly led their Wards for millennia to understand loyalty and the bonds of true friendship. Without the Servants, humans would still be living like the Wilds.

Weakened by hunger and the Cougar attack, Roger collected a soft yellow fruit called Mangoes. The pulp of the soft fruit melted in my mouth. Sweet juice dripped from my jowls, but I could feel the instant energy surge through my body.

"Slow down, pup. The mangos may taste great when it goes in but you will pay the price when it exits. As my Ward says, stay downwind from me when the gale blows."

Roger flexed his wing and awked in pain.

"Are you hurt?"

"My wing has damage but will heal. I can fly short distances. My Ward returns from the sea tomorrow and I must go home to him. He is alone and suffers from the loss of his mate."

"You saved my life Roger. I am without my Ward and will become your servant to carry you home."

Roger cocked his head to the side, and just when I thought him speechless.

"I've always wanted a dog. Awk! Jolly Roger we will be, Pirates of the Sea. Let's go."

Roger fluttered his wings and leaped onto my back. The two of us, an unlikely pair, began our journey together.

***

The path was clear, and soon we descended from the hills to level ground. Roger sang as I plodded along.

Show me the way to go home,

I'm tired and I want to go to bed,

I had a little drink about an hour ago,

And it's gone right to my head,

Wherever I may roam,

On land or sea or foam,

You will always hear me singing this song,

Show me the way to go home.*

We crossed open fields and came upon a main road that sloped downward toward the island's edge. A village of houses, shops, and a steepled chapel lined a horseshoe cove facing the sea. Fishing boats dotted the berths of a pier that jutted out toward the crystal blue water. I stopped without warning, and Roger gripped my fur to avoid falling.

"What de hell, mate. You trying to throw me off?"

I growled with the intensity of the Cougar's roar and stared at the Sweet Lucy docked at the end of the pier.

"Pirates," I said and ran towards the pier.

"Whoa, Jolly, Slow down, partner," and spread his wings and took flight. Gliding past me, he squawked, landed in the road, held his wings wide, and blocked my path. "Jolly. Stop!"

I stopped, raised my snout to the sky, and concentrated with all my senses.

"What do you sense Jolly?"

"Stinky man is on the Sweet Lucy. I can hear Loud man's foul mouth, and I can feel my Ward in my heart. I can feel his despair and we have to rescue him before it's too late."

"I think you got some Wild in you Jolly from the Cougar fight. Use your head mate. They've already tried to kill you once."

"There is no choice to make. It is my duty to Joey."

Roger took flight and climbed high in the sky. He circled the ship and returned.

"Captain Roger reporting to the First Mate Wild Dog. The pirates won't sail tonight. The tide is low and the sails are atop deck being mended. Come with me to my Ward's home and we will wait until night fall. With some luck the Pirates may enjoy too much rum."

***

Gas lamps lit the streets as Roger and I traveled in the shadows to the pier. A drunk sailor stumbled by us but paid no attention to us. I imagine a Parrot riding a Golden Retriever would be blamed on lousy rum.

My nails clicked on the wood planks of the pier, but no one appeared to be on the deck of the Sweet Lucy. I walked the plank and followed my nose. The unique scent of my Ward filled my senses. I padded below deck, found our cabin, and pushed the door open. Joey lay on the bunk with his hands tied to the frame with a gag in his mouth. Roger stood watch at the door. Elated, my tail swung uncontrollably and slapped Roger's beak.

"Control yourself Jolly. I don't aim to be tomorrow's dinner. You know what they say about us poor parrots? We taste like chicken."

I leaped onto the bed and licked Joey's face. His eyes opened.

"He's alive Roger!"

"It's Captain Roger, my friend. Get it right or I shall have you keel hauled, sailor. Now, get with it before all my feathers fall out from anxiety. Bald parrots don't have girlfriends."

I gnawed through the rope binding his hands. Freed, Joey yanked the gag from his mouth and gasped.

"Jolly, my sweet boy," and he pulled me to his chest in an embrace.

"This is sweet and all boys, but we've got to go," said Roger.

***

A desperate man and a matted dog with a parrot on his back emerged to the top deck. The ship’s ramp to the pier represented freedom. Halfway to freedom, a voice roared in the night from the stern.

"What do we have here? Mission Impossible?" said the Loud Man. "Duh…duh duh. Duh… duh duh. I warned you if you tried to escape, I'd kill you."

Loud Man charged with his bat raised in his hand. Roger had taken flight and circled. Joey cowered, expecting the blow when the Parrot intercepted the pirate's face with the claws.

The Loud Man fell to the deck, hit his head on the main mast, and didn't move. A familiar odd odor floated over the deck, and Stinky came from the bow with a gun in his hand.

"I've had enough of this mess. We should have left you to the sharks with that mutt of yours."

Stinky raised the gun and pointed it at Joey's head. As he pulled the trigger, I launched into his chest, and the explosion deafened me. The Wild erupted in me, and I pounded Stinky with my paws and drove him to the railing. The gun clanked onto the deck when I sunk my teeth into his arm, and the pirate fell backward into the sea.

"It's about time you took a bath," I said in Kingdom Speak.

"Awk, Poor fishies, poor fishies," said Roger.

***

Joey, the fisherman, and I stood at the bow of the police cutter as we clipped through the waves. Roger perched on the rail as the mist of broken waves sprayed us. The armed cutter closed on the Sweet Lucy in the distance hauling all her sails in her attempt to escape justice. Roger leaped to the fisherman's shoulder and sang in Human Speak.

But when th' Black Baller gets clear o' th' land. W-ay! Hey? Blow th' man down! It's then as ye'll hear th' sharp word o' command. Give us th' time an' we'll blow th' man down!**

Joey joined Roger in the song with his hand on the scruff of my neck, and our eyes locked.

"You are a good boy, Jolly, and the best friend a man could ask for. I don't know how you pulled this off but thank you."

I couldn't bark. My heart pounded, and I felt the pride of a billion Servant animals who had fulfilled their duty before me.

After three warning blasts of their ship's horn to stop and pull to, the police fired a cannon round over the pirate ship and took out their main sail. The Sweet Lucy came to a full stop, and the cutter pulled alongside the pirates. Loud Man, Stinky, and their crew raised a white flag in surrender.

"Walk the plank, man. Walk the plank," squawked Roger in Human Speak.

Joey and the fisherman laughed. I barked.

"Thank you, Roger," I spoke in Kingdom Speak, "aren't we the most unlikely pair."

********

Credits

*Show Me the Way to Go Home - Irving King (Jimmy Campbell and Reg Connelly) 1925. Public Domain

**Blow the Man down. Author Unknown, 1927 Public domain.

Disclaimer – This author utilizes Grammarly for basic grammar and spelling check.