I Didn't Know

I didn't know that tonight I would meet the man of my dreams. The man that I would spend the rest of my life with. From the moment I saw him, I knew, I knew he was the one.

I didn't know that in less than a month we would be in a small chapel on a hill, with huge mountains in the back, with close friends as witnesses to our marriage. The happiest day of my life as we said our vows and sealed them with our kiss.

I didn't know he would become a successful businessman that would take us from white-collar to multi-million dollar homes. Lush gardens, mansions, parties, new friends, and first class all the way.

I didn't know that I would be able to quit my office job and stay home. Spend my time taking photos, a personal hobby of mine, shopping, traveling, hiking, and taking up other activities like horseback riding, and archery.

I didn't know he would get into firearms, hunting elk and deer. Then insist that I learn to shoot as well and go on hunting trips with him. I didn't know I would pick it up so quickly and aim so well.

I didn't know that he was grooming me to not only be a wife but a mother as well. A stay-at-home mother. I didn't know how much I didn't want a family until that very moment. I didn't know how hurt he would be when I told him this and was surprised when he said it was fine it could just be the two of them.

I didn't know a lot about his business deals or the trips. Everything seemed fine and no one was calling looking for money. I didn't know the business was slowly losing money and soon we would have people lurking and whispering.

I didn't know the FBI was going to show up that day asking to see my husband who was away on business. It is only when they left that I looked at the card they gave me and knew my husband was in trouble. I didn't know how much trouble until I went into our accounts, the ones he never let me see.

I didn't know I wouldn't need an accountant to figure out what my husband was doing. It was all there in black and white but slowly became redder by the transaction. Not only were we losing money but he was pulling money from accounts I had never heard of before.

I didn't know that a simple question would turn into a fight. A verbal fight with voices raised and name-calling only to have him admit in the end that he was laundering money and involved with tax fraud. I didn't know his solution would be for us to run, go to another country and hide out. It was hunting season in Canada, we could go there and give him time to figure out what to do.

I didn't know how gullible or maybe even in love with him enough to trust and believe that is why we were going up there. I didn't know it was all a lie and he had no intention of going back and to only keep running where no one could find us.

I didn't know he would choose the foggiest morning ever to go out hunting and insist I come along. I didn't know my instinct would be screaming at me to run away because this wasn't right. This was not a hunt for wildlife this was a hunt for your life.

I didn't know he would leave me in the thick fog and go for a "better view" over in the distance. I didn't know that after a few feet, he turned around and was coming back. The sounds were loud and shuffling, I thought it was a bear, I couldn't see it but I could feel the size of it, huge. All around me were shadows and in the thick of the fog a tall, dark outline of a figure came towards me. I was frightened and in a split second, the noise was broken by the crack and pop of my rifle as it shot at the figure.

I didn't know it was my husband until I got next to the figure on the ground. Both of his hands wrapped around his rifle, ready to take aim at something; me. I didn't know the mounties would get there so quickly. I didn't know how quickly I would be found not at fault for the accident.

I didn't know about the insurance policies, yes policies, that were taken out on me worth several thousand and I didn't know that there was only one on him. The one I had opened on him before we were married. I didn't know that because it was opened prior to marriage the government couldn't touch it for backpay with my husband's tax fraud and money laundering.

I didn't know that I would not only lose the house but everything that was in his name. Did it really matter now? I didn't know how easy it would be to close this chapter of my life and start over.