"I AM WOMAN"

This is a fictional story. This is not intended to portray anyone's life. All characters are purely fictional.

Rebecca had been in the dark for so long, she had forgotten what the light looked like. She had been in the dark for so long, she had forgotten what it felt like to be alive.

She had been depressed four years, ever since she was raped at 16. She never told anyone because men always win, and women were a second- class citizens in 1970. She spent most of her time in her room writing poetry, staring at the ceiling, and listening to rock' n roll protest music of her favorite musicians on her record player. She was not motivated, no purpose, no hope forever forgetting about the abuse from the bigot that raped her.

She did her own therapy with alcohol, and self-help books, but nothing seemed to work. She had tried to end her life one time by swallowing a bottle of aspirin, but that failed. All the aspirin accomplished was ringing in her ears all day. She had tried to find a reason to live through music and writing. Surprisingly, she swallowed her pride and decided to hold everything inside as that was the alternative in 1970.

She wanted to give up on herself, on the world, on everything, but kept singing, playing the piano and writing prose. She played the blues for hours on the piano. Then she would go out with friends to dance, drink, and forget about the heartache and depression for a few hours.

Until one day, something changed.

She was walking on the street aimlessly and numbly when she saw a flyer on a lamppost. It was an advertisement for a volunteer program to help women become equal. It said, "Do you want to make a difference? Do you want to help others? Do you want to find meaning in your life? Join us today and become a part of our community to help women become equal!"

She was elated, something within her consciousness was relieved and she felt a spark of curiousity for the first time in four years.

Rebecca decided to try it.

She called the number on the flyer and signed up for the program. She met with the coordinator a friendly, cheerful woman named Betty. She explained to Rebecca the mission and the vision of the program, and how they planned to pass the ERA. She also introduced her to the other volunteers, who were a diverse and welcoming group of people from diverse backgrounds, and women of all ages.

She started to volunteer once a week, then twice, then three times a week. Rebecca helped with research and planning marches, sort and distribute donations, clean, and maintain the facilities, and talk and listen to the women interviewed by the group. She learned their names, their stories, their struggles, and their dreams. She saw their pain, their joy, their gratitude, and their dignity.

She started to feel something she hadn't felt in a long time. She started to feel compassion, empathy, and love. She started to feel useful, valued, and appreciated. She started to feel connected, inspired, and happy.

She was beginning to 'see the light' at the end of the dark tunnel. Rebecca's Life was beginning to come together. She no longer worried about the lies spread by the rapist boys at age 16. The tantalizing yells by the rapist boys, "Indian squaw, ugly squaw, you whore!" The words of the bigot rapist 17- year-old little boys. No more would she be hurt again.

She realized that by helping others, she was also helping herself. Rebecca realized that by giving, she was also receiving. She realized that by giving, she was also living.

Rebecca realized she had a reason to live and to promote women's equality.

She realized that she had found the light after darkness.

We as women were once second- class citizens in America. We could not buy a house or a car without our husbands. Women were blamed for rape, sex, and not given many career choices. In fact, Rebecca had been told she had three choices for a career that were nursing, secretary, or housewife. Rebecca rebelled against that. She loved the organization she joined. Women's rights are not political but have been made political by the patriarchal society of certain beliefs systems that were in power at that time.

Back in the day before abortion was legal, only the wealthy could get abortions, and the poor succumbed to back-alley coat hanger abortions, which was dangerous and caused many injuries and deaths. Of course, now that the male patriarchal society wants to control women again, there are many states that have written laws to lock up the doctors, the people that helped with the abortion and the women, and to put all of them in prison. This is going backwards to another place and time. These states who will lock up anyone helping with the abortion have laws on the books to say it is okay for a 12-year-old raped by her father or other relative to have their baby. The male patriarchal society want to change the fact that women can sue them for rape and the same male patriarchal society say forcing a child to have sex is a norm. This is not political, but a future for women once again to bow to their men, be waiting at the door with their martini, and their dinner on the table. The man with this attitude has many egotistical and insecurities issues. They have a problem of low self-esteem, wanting to have their women 'under their thumb', barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, rattling those pots and pans. The male patriarchal system of yesteryear was not political, but control based on a man's ego and low self-esteem. To go back to 1950 will be a nightmare for society, a victory for the men who believe their women should kiss their feet.

I am 74 years old. I realize I am fighting once again for women's rights, gay rights, minority rights. We are in this regime of repeating history in 2023 because the actual ERA was never completely passed, then again, abortion was legal too for 50 years. The supreme court decided to ban abortion again to cater to the male society of low self-esteem.

Today is not 1970. Today is 2023. In many states the male patriarchal society have raised their narcissistic snake heads again to prevent women from having control over their bodies. The male patriarchal society want to go back to 1950 to take control over women, minorities and rape and subjugate women to them as a slave to their master. Rebecca's body is not a political pawn for these highly narcissistic egotistical men.

Rebecca is a fictional character. This is a fictional story not meant to reflect on anyone nor claim to represent any person, place, or political purpose. This story was written from a humanitarian point of view by the author who is still fighting for equality for humanity.

"Without reproductive rights, women and others who can bear children pay a higher price for sexual pleasure, within and outside marriage, than men do.

Without access to affordable, safe childcare, women have less access to work, period.

Without a social and political commitment to ending male violence, women pay a higher opportunity cost for labor force participation."

"I am a woman, as I see myself.

As a woman I embrace life, love, laughter.

I see myself as a human being who gives life.

I see myself as smart, intelligent,

Capable of moving forward to embrace

The world of freedom, equality, love, life, laughter

Of tears of grief, despair, caring, love, tears,

Tears of joy, pain, birth, life.

I have power over my own body.

My body is mine, not my exes or any man.

I give birth through my vagina or caesarean section.

No man gave birth through their ribs.

I gave birth to my babies, not the father.

So, here we are in 2023 still fighting the drifter of the adage,

Of the man, of the woman.

Love is love regardless of sexual orientation.

We are human. I am a woman.

I give birth to freedom, to love, life, birth, laughter, tears,

Of the unknown of love and hate.

It is my body, my sisters' bodies,

Of birth,

Not the man who does not give birth.

My body is mine, my sisters' bodies are their bodies not the male patriarchal societies body.

I cry tears of joy, pain, life."

WRITTEN BY

VICKI LAWANA TRUSSELLI

NOVEMBER 2023

AGE 74

"I HAVED HAD A LONG LIFE FULL OF UPS AND DOWNS. I PERSONALLY REFUSE TO GO BACK TO 1950. HOW ABOUT LET'S MOVE FORWARD WITH EQUALITY FOR ALL.

A GYPSY SOUL, YOUNG AT HEART, AN OLD SOUL OF THE UNIVERSE IS THE REALM OF REALITY OF OUR LIFE OF LOVE, TEARS, JOY, AND PAIN."