Humanity - what a riddle

You, like everyone else, stay away from me; You walk carefully on this tightrope we call life — hoping you won’t have to make that choice on that day during that time with that person in that place. You stay oblivious. You claim autonomy, you fight for it, SCREAM for it, bleed for it - but you blame outcomes on fate, on authority you do not own, on others because, well, it is what it is, right?

You stay away from me. You shy away from facing me, coyly looking elsewhere when making your decisions. Easily creating backdoors for when things just don't go right, when things go against rights.

But some day you will meet me.

Because you have to. It’s inevitable, like the automatic urge to take a deep breath before plunging into deep waters, like squinting your eyes when looking at the Sun, like shivering when it’s cold. Because you can’t escape what you were born with and the situation it puts you in. You can't escape the choices you make once you've made them. You can't escape that which is you.

I’m there at the edge of your mind — there! That’s right, I know you saw me — no — felt me. That question. That instinct to avoid pain and to seek pleasure.

That border, that line that you oh, so naively claim to have no temptation to cross. Go on, pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ll spell it out for you:

G-R-E-Y, I am grey.

I am the man who cheats on his wife but wipes away the tears of his children. Oh, yes, I am. I am the brother who craves sweet escape but stays behind for the ones who need him. I am the girl who donates weekly to those who are needy but neglects the ones who need me.

Are you still trying to deny my existence?

I am the child who takes care of my parents but wishes they were gone. I am the friend who listens but forgets, the keyboard warrior who turns a blind eye in real life, the person who swears an oath to protect but doesn't question orders to hurt. I am the lover who holds your glass heart and plays catch with it. You can’t run away from me — from yourself.

I am the faithful but cruel, the loyal but ignorant, the understanding but selfish. I am grey. I am black lines blurred on white paper. I am in the middle of the field between right and wrong. I am your uncertainty, your moral ambiguity, your questionable conscience.

I am grey and I,

I am your humanity.