How to make someone fall in love with you.

The magic behind love is just a sprinkle of… Understanding it’s biology and psychology. I know. Romantic. Real talk though, have you ever googled (or wondered) the following?

“How do I get my crush to like me back”

“How do I find true love”

"How do I make him/her fall in love with me again?"

"Ways to get them to fall in love madly with me"

"How to spice up a relationship?"

"My relationship is failing/boring - help"

Well, here's the #TLDR recipe to create a real love potion and solve these problems:

Add a dollop of hugs.

Guys, drop some sex in there as soon as possible (amount: as much as you want, honey). Girls… Let him simmer for a bit before adding this.

Don’t shake, just chant their name as you gently push them over a cliff (with a way to pull them back, obviously).

❤

 —  Well, that probably wasn't very helpful but don't worry, I've written down detailed steps and explanations below! Whether it's rekindling an old love or finding a new one (or if you're just looking for fun couple experiments to try with your SO!), the insight I've collected here is sure to help.

What I'm giving you is a full proof, biological and psychological hack that will definitely elicit *some* feelings of love and attraction. The following are some pointers I've found over the years through random google searches and such - I've included the journals and research sources at the bottom so you can look into it yourself. Follow these steps, mix 'em up and you'll be able to screw with anyone...'s biology (aha, see what I did there?). Anyway, you'll find below 4 scientifically backed methods to create your very own real life "love potion" and land the love of your life and your happily ever after (only one way to find out if it's that easy, ey?)

Remember, this won’t be your average recipe, no aphrodisiacs like chocolate and strawberries and oysters  —  this is all natural, all you. Without further ado, here’s your grocery list for love:

1. 20 second Hugs

So I read somewhere that there are 3 stages in a relationship  —  lust, attraction and then attachment. This tidbit’s gonna get you to that third level ASAP: Light et al. (2005) investigated Oxytocin levels and physical contact. Now, the physical contact bit is easy. The Oxytocin part, that’s where things get interesting. That’s right! THAT is where sexy happens, people, so pay attention. In their study, they found that when their participants (couples) hugged each other for 20 seconds, they released the neurotransmitter Oxytocin and these couples were just happier and less stressed out. What’s Oxytocin, you ask? It’s been dubbed the “love hormone”. It’s basically the bonding bomb you gotta drop, the committer neurotransmitter that’s gonna keep you guys together. The cuddle chemical. The messenger that’s gonna be delivering them moans. Oh, yea.

In fact, this chemical is notably released during childbirth (#datmaternalbond) and sex. But if you aren’t Oedipus (#datcomplex) and you aren’t the type to have sex on the first date then fret not! All you need to do is hug and hold on a lil’ longer than usual. 20 seconds long to be exact.

Story time! I had this uhm… friend. Who had a friend. Let’s call them Kiki (anyone remember that song?) and Koko (because I take pleasure in alliteration). Kiki and Koko were friends in college and Koko had a thing for Kiki. This, of course, was not really known to Kiki (but let’s face it, Kiki kinda knew). One day, Kiki and Koko played a game and made a bet; Winner got to decide the punishment/prize. Koko won and said he wanted a hug every day. “Every day?” she asked, incredulous. “Every day” he repeated. And so everyday, before parting ways, they hugged, a good long proper hug  —  the type where you let go of your weight and for a very short while you share it with someone else . This went on for a while. But one day - oh, one fine day - Kiki stepped in for a hug and Koko stepped back. Mischievous, mysterious grin in place, he said, "Bye!", and walked off. Kiki was like *EH no hug?* I don’t remember what happened next in this story but I do remember this intense feeling of loss and longing. I mean, I remember Kiki’s explanation of intense loss and longing  —  It was a good trick, guys. It was legit. And only years later did I stumble upon the science behind it and think dayum son. That boy knew what he was doing.

2. The answer is SEX.

So this one’s gonna be a tug of war. Girls gotta hold on to it for love but boys gotta go in and get some. Say what now? Okay, let me take a step back and explain it.

This cool Biologist chick looked up the science behind her 95-year-old Grandma’s sage advice on love;

“Your problem is, you young girls jump into bed too quick! You fall in love but a boy doesn’t fall in love that way.”

 — Now gather round mi chicas and listen up, grammy was right.

Shocking, I know. You'd think with all the headway we women have made over the years with fighting for equal rights, we'd have it fair in love too by now. But no, our biology has spoken; Basically, in a woman  —  remember that Oxytocin chemical?  —  Well that lil’ committer neurotransmitter skyrockets when a lady reaches an orgasm. Ouffffff. Ahhh. Mhhmm. Yeah.

And that ladies, is why some of us think we've fallen in love after round one. Just one sexual experience and we're committed, we're in it for the long haul. And them boys? When do they fall in love if not during the best orgasm they’ll ever have (damn straight, it was the best!)? Well, Grammy answered this too,

“You know a man’s in love when he commits”.

Okay but wait Grammy, hold up for a sec. So, when exactly do they commit?

- She didn't say, but don't worry! I looked it up; Here’s the biology explaining when a man commits in a relationship, in a jiffy:

Testosterone blocks Oxytocin. In other words, manly macho-ness says HALT to the cuddle chemical. Until that is, he commits. And when he says “Baby, I want you” (and he doesn’t just mean for some bow-chicka-wow-wow time), I mean when a man decides that he wants to be with you, then his Testosterone levels drop, no one’s at the entrance blocking the way and BAM he’s suddenly filled with the looooooove hormone, Oxytocin.

So… are you forming the conclusion? It’s a bit of a twister but me thinks this means that if a man has made his decision for who "The One" is for him, and if he can get his Usher on with her, then the deal is probably sealed! And for women, well, it’s confusing because we don’t know when a guy wants us or if he just wants it. Sorry, chicas, I guess this one’s more useful for the boys but hey, at least now you know and awareness is key!

3. Say my name, baby.

What do we want? Attention! When do we want it? All the time! How do we get it? Sit down children, let me throw some research at you.

Our brain is hardwired from as early as 5 months old to react to our own name being said out loud (Parise et al., 2010). Carmody & Lewis (2006) showed that some regions in the brain showed greater activation to one’s own name. OH WAIT THERE’S MORE, Moray (1959) (yea, this one’s way back when) found that nothing but saying the other person’s name could “break the barrier” of attention given to something else. Meaning that only saying his/her name got their attention. This is called the cocktail party phenomenon  —  and it’s neither here nor there today with research against and for it.

What does this mean?

1. Don’t go around fitting in future bae’s name into every nook and cranny you can find in your sentence  —  just ease it in there, use it at pivotal moments!

2. Just the fact that most of us are pretty narcissistic, I think there’s no harm in making a point to say the person’s name more often.

Especially if you have an exotic accent. Just sayin’. But be careful with this one, you don’t wanna say it too differently and instead annoy the hell out of them!

4. Get their heart pumping

Here’s the lowdown; When you see someone you like, adrenaline rushes through you and bibbidi-bobbidi-boo your heart starts hammering! Now take this equation and reverse it: If you’re high on adrenaline and you see someone, you might just feel a lil’ something something for them!

There’s been quite a number of researchers looking into this and coming up with positive results that support this reverse reaction(e.g. Dutton & Aron, 1974; Meston & Frohlich, 2003; McKinney, 2011). As an example, Dutton & Aron (1974) looked into this by testing whether men would call up an attractive woman after she gave them her phone number after doing an activity… And these activities were either a high adrenaline activity (like walking across a wobbly suspension bridge) or a low adrenaline activity (walking across a stable, sturdy bridge). So yea, conclusion, more guys called the hot chick after thinking they might fall to their deaths.

But this doesn't mean you need to take your crush cliff diving or push them onto on-coming traffic or get into a bloody sword fight on a pirate ship to get them to think you're attractive!

A concert or a rave would do just fine. Maybe take them go-kart racing or play a game of lazer tag! You get the idea. Get creative and you're bound to create an attraction so magnetic, the poles would be jealous ;)

Alright, my lovelies, we’ve come to the end and now it’s your job to get to that happily ever after.

I'd love to hear from you (IG: @livinggirl) - Let me know what you think/if you decide to try it OR if you’ve already done this/had this done to you!

#thescienceoflove #TheScientificMethod #HowToMakeHimFallInLoveWithMe #ThePsychologyBehindLove #TheBiologyBehindLove #JustBecauseItsPublishedInAScientificJournalDoesntMeanItsTrueButItsStillMoreReliableThanYourObnoxiousFriendSusanWhoKeepsPostingHappyCouplyPicturesAndGivingUnwantedDatingAdviceShutUpSusan

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Sources:

Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety>> https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1975-03016-001