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How To Get A Concussion (in 50 words)

Microfiction Challenge

By Donna ReneePublished about a year ago 1 min read
35
How To Get A Concussion (in 50 words)
Photo by Valerie Fomina on Unsplash

It was a beautiful day for a ride.

Sunny and warm, not a cloud in the sky.

We rounded the corner and cantered steadily toward the fence.

One,

two,

three,

and takeoff!

…but red striped jumps were his Boogeyman.

Damn!

That ground was hard.

Too bad it hadn’t rained lately.

HumorAdventure
35

About the Creator

Donna Renee

Hi! Thanks for reading! My hobbies include making coffee, drinking coffee, and starting to write a story and then rage-deleting it when I get the slightest bit frustrated.

Work in Progress: WOWH, cozy mystery (paranormal elements)

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  4. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  5. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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Comments (30)

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  • ThatWriterWoman11 months ago

    Oof! Thankfully, I have never fallen off a horse - but I used to work next to an equine center and saw quite a few falls. They look brutal! Nice work Donna!

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    Ouch! This is great. Well done.

  • Donna Fox (HKB)about a year ago

    Ouch Donna, I felt that one! 🐎🥴 Great story and so well written! Love the narrative you took and how captivating it was for such a short story! 💜

  • Grz Colmabout a year ago

    Yoikes! 😳

  • Ruth Stewartabout a year ago

    Ouch! I fell off at a canter one day, I landed on my forehead and broke the peak of my hat. Scary stuff. But we have to get back on, don't we? Great poem.

  • Novel Allenabout a year ago

    This is a weird kooky poem. But a thrill ride in the mud anyway. Very unique.

  • Awesome Story✨💖📝😉💯

  • C. H. Richardabout a year ago

    Lol great story telling. I guess there would be benefits to riding in the mud 😊 Hope if true everyone was okay❤️

  • Paul Stewartabout a year ago

    ffs Donna this was kinda hilarious! Sorry you experienced it, but glad you were able to turn it into such a fine piece of microfactiction (totally made that word up) Have a donut. 🍩

  • Iris Harrisabout a year ago

    😂 Ok, I’m laughing (it was tagged for humor). I have not experienced a concussion, and I hope I never do (consider I hit the skate park a lot). I felt this one. Well done.

  • Oh God! 😵‍💫 That must have hurt like hell! I'm just glad you're okay now!

  • JBazabout a year ago

    I kind of want to laugh...would that be wrong of me? Great piece

  • Gina C.about a year ago

    Oh man, that must've hurt! 😅 Loved this!

  • The Invisible Writerabout a year ago

    An entire story in 50 words. I’m impressed

  • Kelly Robertsonabout a year ago

    Oh if I had a dollar for every injury I got from horse riding... conduction Concussions, broken ribs, bruises galore! But you always get back on! Loved this one :)

  • Ward Norcuttabout a year ago

    fun story!

  • Oneg In The Arcticabout a year ago

    Hard ground or muddy mess! Great story haha

  • Ashley Limaabout a year ago

    Lovely story :)

  • Kristen Balyeatabout a year ago

    Haha!! Your title made me laugh before I even got into the piece! Perfect short, Donna! I totally felt it! 💫 🐎

  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    Last time I got bucked off, I landed on my actual head. Thank fuck for the hard hats. 😁

  • Witty, fun & authentic. Love it.

  • Mohammed Darasiabout a year ago

    Sheesh! I felt that one.. a nice final line as well 🤣

  • Stephen Kramer Avitabileabout a year ago

    Ooh ouch! I felt it, but so well told in such short form!

  • Roy Stevensabout a year ago

    Nicely done Donna and you can't get any more succinct can you?! It always seems to be the red-striped jumps so why do they use them? Enquiring minds wanna know...

  • Leslie Writesabout a year ago

    Ouch! I’m sure that was a scary moment for you and the horse. Great little micro-fiction 🐎

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