HOPE FOR MIRACLES - Daria and Her Baby

Daria broke down into her friend’s lap crying a cry she had never let out before. A spring that seemed to have no bounds fell from her eyes.

“Daria, do you want to have a baby?”

“Yes.” She wimpered.

“Then do everything you need to do to get to your baby. Whatever it takes. Daria, if there’s one person I know in this world that is meant to be a Mom, it’s you. And I also know you to be stronger and more tuned in that you may know of yourself. Keep going.”

“It’s been years now, Care. I’m so tired. I’ve lost all my energy. I can’t even be a good wife to my Mark anymore.” She sobs some more.

“Talk about it. Talk about it with everyone you know. There may be things you haven’t explored. Daria, there may be parts of your life you haven’t healed yet. Things that are getting in the way of your body accepting motherhood, a child, a family. Go there. Listen to yourself. And follow that. What I’m saying is… There may be more to learn and to discover.”

Daria spent the following 4 months in a deep depression. She quit her job, and she grieved. She despaired.

Growing and raising a child wasn’t necessarily something she had dreamed of her whole life, but now that she was in her mid-30s, it seemed like a purpose had woken up in her like a burning ball of fire beyond anyone’s reach, and simultaneously, it seemed like like a everything in her life was against it. It felt like that purpose was on the verge of death, and so was she.

Then something changed. She didn’t really know what. But the way she saw things changed. She didn’t look at herself in the mirror the same way. One day, Daria got up, and she put her best dress on, and she walked out the door to go get herself the most expensive meal she could find in a restaurant with the best view of the landscape surrounding the city. And she savored every last bite like it was the last meal she’d ever have. She walked the city. And she took a drive through the countryside. She called her friend, and they went out dancing. That night while she fell asleep, she made a promise to herself that she’d do everything in her power to find her way to holding her baby in her arms.

Over the following 3 years, Daria began pursuing the career of her dreams and succeeded at it. She became creative in other ways, taking up sculpture and writing letters regularly to her friends. She kept choosing happy. She vowed to keep her spirit up.

And all the while, she began seeking. Seeking a world previously unknown to her. She prayed. She met all sorts of people that lived their lives in the medial - one foot in the material world, one foot in the spiritual world. She began believing in more than what her eyes would tell her. She began feeling that her child was out there guiding her to holding them in her arms. And so she turned to many many healing modalities to try and bring her baby into this world. She took spirit journeys into her past, her own birth. She forged new ways of relating to her family and friends. By trusting herself, she was able to put her trust into the hands and hearts that opened the door to other realms of reality. And with each leap into the unknown, she learned something about herself and the world she could have never know any other way. Some we’re very hard lessons, others brought immense peace and bliss to her heart.

As she herself grew and changed, her relationship changed too. Mark couldn’t take the next steps alongside her, and she made the heart-wrenching decision to leave a marriage that wasn’t changing along with her. And still, as she aged, and the world seemed to be against this desire and this purpose of having a baby, she kept her spirit up. She kept believing. She kept leaping into the unknown, each time growing stronger feathers for her wings.

She eventually met a new man. By unforeseen circumstances when she least expected it, she knew she had met the father of her soon to be child. Their love led them into new depths of the journey she had begun all those years ago in her best friend’s arms.

Daria gave birth to a baby. And in those precious few moments of her daughter Chlea’s birth, she understood who Chlea needed her to be. And here she was.