Helpless But Not Helpless

In a feeling of helplessness, there is always something for us. Whether you look at it as prayer, as good thoughts, good wishes, or perhaps just something else which we mere mortals do not have a word for.

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This story was originally published on Medium.

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I’m seeing something awful happen right now, and there is nothing I can do.

The man is down. The man is not getting up. I want to help, but I’m no one to this man. I’m no one with any experience in helping people, no medical degree, nothing of value in this situation.

Yet, I cannot help but to feel I should do something.

I internalize, I use my internal voice and I speak to… whoever may be up there… out there… watching over us sentient beings.

“I do a lot of good in this world. Not for myself. Yes, I get a good feeling when I do it, but it’s not for that. It’s just to do good. Now, this may seem like a silly question. But is good karma a real thing? Do I accumulate good karma for what I have done? I imagine if I do, if that is the case, I must have a good deal stored up. I have no idea if this is the case, but it’s all I have to lean on. Can I contribute any of my good karma towards this man? Take what good karma I have… transfer it to this man. Can you do that? Can you just remove it from me and transfer it to him? His body? His soul? Let it help him… if it can. Let it heal him… if it can. Please, send my good karma to this man who needs it far more than I do.”

I stop with my internal speech. It is loud and noisy on these streets. Just as it was before the accident took place. Then, everything begins to hush. Everything begins to quiet, more and more. Until it is silent. Everything freezes. Nothing is moving.

Not the leaves on the trees, they don’t blow in the wind. The wind has stopped. The people freeze, the citizens, the EMT’s, everyone. My arms still dangle at my side. I still have the ability to move.

And then a cool suction-like feeling is felt in my chest. Like a cool wind is being sucked out of me… and I see it… tiny blue particles coming right out of my chest… being pulled by something. It doesn’t hurt. But I feel it.

The blue particles group together to form a stream… a stream of something… they float across the street… towards the man… and they implant into his chest.

All the sounds return. Everyone continues moving. EMT’s continue to administer CPR. And then…

A huge gasp of breath.

The man coughs violently.

“He’s breathing!” One EMT shouts. “Let’s get him in the ambulance!”

The EMT’s scurry to board the man into the back of the ambulance. As they carry him in, he turns his neck, and he looks over at me. He looks as you’d expect a man to look after being hit by a car… except for that twinkle in his eye… that very familiar twinkle. That I’ve only seen in the reflection of mirrors.

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