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Happy ever after

When the girl doesn't stick around for the guy

By Andy PottsPublished 2 months ago 2 min read
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Happy ever after
Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

It started with a kiss. Which makes a change, since usually it pretty much ends with a kiss. You know that bit. Frog turns into prince, princess awakes from a deep slumber, active hero marries passive heroine and we all live happily ever after. Or we assume so, since nobody checks back for the wedding anniversary a few years later when our beautiful prince(ss) is run ragged by a brood of royal brats and our handsome prince(ss) is casting a roving eye elsewhere.

No, this tale was different. It started with a kiss. A fully consensual, yes-means-yes, joyous kiss. A kiss fuelled by cheap, potent cocktails and mutual lust. A kiss which, if we were counting, might have encompassed four of the seven deadly sins. Maybe that was where the deus ex machina decided to enter the mechanism.

After that kiss, outside a bar as a chill crept into a mild spring evening, things escalated fast. Pausing only to hail a cab, they rushed home. Her home? His home? Doesn’t really matter. This was generation rent, dwellers in bedsit land. No palaces here, just a single grungy room and a shared bathroom. You can use your imagination for the rest, you’re a grown-up. Draw on your own memories, select your seductive soundtrack of choice. Let’s just say that inhibitions weren’t the only things hastily discarded into a shabby heap on the bedroom floor.

According to canon, the fairytale ends here. Girl meets boy, they have eyes for nobody else and that first kiss is the start of the happy-ever-after.

But this is real life. Dawn brings headaches: left side is a simple hangover; right side deals with the more subtle pain of embarrassment, buyer’s remorse. In the cruel light of day, one slips away home. A WhatsApp message, distantly polite, is the only follow-up.

And yet, there is a happy-ever-after. This isn’t a tale of obsessive stalking, of unrequited desire or unintended consequence. Nor is it a tale of unlikely fate, two souls eventually seeing they are entwined in spite of it all. That deus is merciful. The pairing quietly parts, no recrimination. Years go by. One wild night lives on as a happy, nostalgic memory.

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This one was inspired by the unofficial Fucked-up Fairytales challenge currently doing the rounds. And I fancied tweaking the whole 'happy ever after' thing, since most fairy tale romances seem to have flakey foundations. Is it autobiographical? Gentlemen never tell.

Does it meet the brief? I guess we'll find out.

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This is probably a good place to mention a unicorn-obsessed NSFW entry from Thavien Yliaster. Spotting this on FB led me to the unofficial challenge, and got me thinking about some ideas.

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About the Creator

Andy Potts

Community focused sports fan from Northeast England. Tends to root for the little guy. Look out for Talking Northeast, my new project coming soon.

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Comments (6)

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  • Charlie williams27 days ago

    Nice work

  • Thavien Yliasterabout a month ago

    Hahaha! You this reminds me of an animated skit that I think the YouTube channel College Humor did and it was titled something as "Tinderella." The whole thing rhymed as a fairytale and it was hilarious. "He was looking for something quite discreet, then he found her, Tinderella, especially since he hadn't been laid in a week." Lowkey though, I like how You hit on, one's a prince or princess and the other's a frog. Yet, the transformation that takes place isn't always fantastical. Goodness, reminds me of a lot of times when I said 'no' and had to keep saying 'no.' Then they would go and say that I didn't want to cause I'm bisexual or pansexual, which was a whole surprise to me. I never knew I was bi- or pan- before. I was like "Wow, all because I said 'no?' Damn, that's crazy." I also don't understand why You have the parentheses so early on in the story for prince(ss) though reading it makes sense because You're stating that either partner can become unhappy with their current marriage and develop a wandering eye. Good job making sure to play true sex/gender equality. Also, I don't know if it's the Mandela effect, but I always thought it was "happily" ever after, not "happy" ever after. Then again, as long as they're happy why complain? Also, "unicorn-obsessed?" No siree. My brain's just been primed for creating tons of stories. NSFW? Well, it is more mature, as it discusses the traditional nature of unicorns and why they no longer exist. It's literally in the tautogram title. BTW, what did You think about the unicorn story? Seeing as how You think it's NSFW. Come on, tell me what impressions it left You with. I just gotta know, especially since You didn't leave a comment on it.

  • I love how you wrote this based on the happily ever after concept rather than a specific faitytale.

  • John Cox2 months ago

    Exceptionally contrarian take on fairy tales and the modern meet-cute. Very well written and imagined (or was it?)

  • Andrea Corwin 2 months ago

    I liked it!! This part is astounding: "This was generation rent, dwellers in bedsit land. No palaces here, just a single grungy room and a shared bathroom. You can use your imagination for the rest, you’re a grown-up. Draw on your own memories, select your seductive soundtrack of choice." Nice job.

  • Judey Kalchik 2 months ago

    A much more realistic fairy tale!

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