Half A World Without Jazz

Half A World Without Jazz

Horns humming notes soft and close enough to her ear. She tried to pretend she couldn’t hear the soft sound of the symbols, slowly and softly and speeding around the brass sphere, causing a cacophony of confusion, mixed with music in her ear. She so desperately wanted sleep but she was bothered by what appeared to be what she could hear and couldn’t see. The ceiling seemed to give way to the dark sky that was half blue, part black with gray…. Clouds formed as if a storm was on its way. Could she feel rain? Something came from above her. Drips, then it began to form in puddles, pools and burgundy streams. Moving her things. All of them seemed to drift to one side of her room.

Her eyes parted. Barely enough to allow burgundy to reflect from the floor. It was wet. Wet, as if it had been poured: on purpose. She stared at the surface long enough to remember where the mop was. On top of that, she felt a sharp pain that traveled from the small of her back, up her spine and seemed to resign like a chain around her neck. It rested and felt as if it would protect her. But as she moved to begin the clean-up, she felt it pull, break and force her to gasp for air. She checked in the mirror. It was no longer there. She stared at the imprint it left. She notice what looked like a hole just to the right side of her left breast. She felt her heart beating and guessed she was dreaming.

“Where’s the mop?” She quipped.

It didn’t stop there. Her hair, long, braided, brown with shades of burgundy again. As if someone poured it in as she slept. Carefully, she placed her steps. Splashing between pieces of paper, broken glass and whatever wet was left on the floor.

“Someone needs to turn that off.” She said, looking for the faucet as she opened the wooden door.

The music became half-muted. As if she had her hands over her ears, but still glued to the sounds creepy in and around her fingers. Her heart began to beat to every half note of the bass drum and the bass guitar as they shaped the pace of her dilemma. Never taking her eyes off of the left side of the room, she felt her hand glide slightly to the right of her. There, her size 5 track spikes rested as if they arrived to keep her from sliding across the wet floor. “My spikes?” She questioned. She hadn’t worn them since college when she met Gregory. Now married, with a baby, she wondered if… ‘Maybe I planned on running today?’ But wait…. It’s far too late for that. I’ve got a baby and tons of baby fat around my waist. I can’t wait until I get back to the days when I replace it with muscle.” She emphatically stated.

Just as she made it down the stairs, she noticed that half of the furniture wasn’t there. The couch was gone and two of the four chairs in the dining room. The fridge was half-open with what looked like half of the groceries she purchased just two days prior. Both bottles of breast milk were gone. The pump was no longer on the counter beside the dish rack where she left it after each use.

Now, she was really confused. She looked for more clues. His coat, keys and shoes: gone. The luggage they use when they travel: gone. She ran back upstairs to inspect every place where he kept… anything: gone.

“The baby?” She shouted to herself in a whisper. Now her chest pounded against her breast plate.

“Did he take the baby?” She wondered aloud as she splashed through ankle-high red wine that seemed to try to slow her. She couldn’t remember if she had checked the baby before she fell asleep. When she got to the nursery, she found sheets of paper sitting on the desk in his room. It was one her father gave her as an heirloom. He had hoped his grandson would study to become a doctor at this very desk. But, the closer she stared, the more she was left with questions.

“Where is my son? Where are his baby clothes? Where are his toys? Where is anything?!” She shouted to herself as rage began to replace her curiosity. As if she summoned it, the sea of wine created a wave and rolled toward her. Pages of paper surfed across and slid to the shore before her feet. She stared at the words written neatly on each one.

“We knew this day would come.” One page said.

“Our son is now a man. We have to stop holding his hand.” Another had written in cursive.

Again, she felt the pound of her heart against her chest. She gripped it with both hands as if she was trying to keep it from escaping.

“Where is my son?” She asked as she looked to the dark sky above his room.

Immediately, she ran down the stairs to the front door. Before she could unlock it, she noticed it was half-open. She froze. She questioned if someone had come in uninvited and taken her family. She slowly slid the door open to discover what was on the other side. It felt like an hour of the mahogany door splashing through the ankle-high wine on the floor. Carefully, she peered into the night on the other side. What she saw was more of a mystery than the entire night presented. Slowly, she lifted her left foot with the track spike and sent it ahead of her as if it represented the rest of her.

The cool air greeted her and mixed with the dark sky. Street lights were only lit on one side: the left. When she looked to the right, she was blinded by….

The sight of the stars in the sky. They were before her as far and wide as she could see. Her right foot, bare and barely able to keep her from falling into the street sunk into the grass. But only half of it would keep her standing. The sky… It was all she saw to her right. No houses, nor cars in sight. No people, no pets, not even a mailbox. The street, sidewalk and devil strip: All gone.

“Jazz!” She shouted to herself to keep from falling over.

“Where is the rest of the world?” She cried out as she began to understand her view.

None of what she knew was there. As if someone had taken a giant chainsaw and cut the earth in half, leaving her just enough of her yard to stand on. She marveled at the sight and trembled mightily and she absorbed the reality of seeing nothing before her but dark, black, sky.

Her cry became a question: “Why?”

“Where is the rest of the world?”

“What happened to my husband and son?”

“What have I done to deserve….”

Before she could finish her sentence, she turned to see more wine, paper and one suitcase that float half-open down the stairs and prepared itself in front of her. She wanted to move but to her amazement, she had drifted so close to the edge of the earth, one step would have caused her to fall. With one bare foot in her yard and her track spike dug in as hard as she could, she stood and allowed the suitcase to complete its’ race to her. Determined not to allow it to break her stance, she waited.

She expected the heavy, leather-bound case that was big enough to take her completely off her feet…. To meet her. Her neck burned again. Her chest returned to the feeling of keeping her heart from escaping. Like an inmate who was inches away from breaking free, she felt her heart repeatedly trying to leap.

“What…..? Does this mean? I have lost everything!” She shouted to the inanimate object as if she needed an answer.

“I’m not moving!” She shouted.

On her left side, the rest of what was left of her life stood. She could still see the street as it wound through her neighborhood. But on the right: Everything was gone. Like the night swallowed it whole and waited for her to follow. She paused. She waited. She was determined to take the blow from the suitcase that was about to take her over the edge of the abyss.

When the suitcase reached her, she allowed her foot to take the brunt of the collision. To her surprise, it stopped just before touching a patch of grass so small, she could not have fit another toe between it and where she stood.

Slowly, the buckles popped open. The lid lifted, showing an envelope. It was cream with splashes of red wine on each side. It read,

WE KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME. WE’VE DONE ALL WE COULD TO MAKE SURE WE GAVE HIM THE BEST CHANCE TO FULFILL HIS DREAMS. NOW, WE HAVE TO ALLOW HIM TO BE…

Her eyes began to blur as she tried to make sense of the words on the page.

THIS WORLD IS WHAT I SAID IT WOULD BE. HIS ROLE IN MAKING IT BETTER REQUIRES THAT WE MAKE THIS TRIP. HE WON’T RETURN….

The words were too much to continue. She looked around and began to yell for help…

“Is anybody out there?” She yelled into the dark sky.

“Please! Somebody tell me what’s going on! Where did my world go?” She yelled as she wept.

Rain began to pour down on her face. Blending with her tears and consuming her entire body, she stood with the letter in her hand.

“Jazz?’

“Jazz?”

“Jazz?” For a third time, she heard a voice call her. She assumed it was God.

“Honey, we have been calling you all morning. Please pick up the phone.”

She rolled over and opened her eyes. Her answering machine was full.

She sat up to make sense of what she just lost.

She looked to her left. There was everything in her bedroom, just as she remembered.

She looked to her right. She saw the empty bottle of red wine, spilled on the floor. Her glass was broken just beneath her bed.

She examined her room. The wine formed a trail that flowed out of her room and under her door.

She grabbed her phone.

“Honey?” She shouted in the phone after he answered.

“Yes, Jazz?”

“Where are you guys?” She asked hastily.

“Where did I tell you we were going?” He replied with a question.

“Huh?”

“In the letter, Jazz. I left you the letter because you were too upset to accept it.” He answered.

“Letter? What?” She started before noticing the sheets of paper on the floor, covered in red wine.

“I wrote to you, explaining the details of the trip. Graham also had a touching letter in there too. Did you check the suitcase?”

“No! Why would you write a letter?” She asked.

“We have been writing letters about this since he was a toddler. We agreed that after medical school, WE would take him to Africa for his residency. You….”

“Wait… I drank that much?” She interrupted.

“Yes…. And cried and drank and fell asleep.”

“Wait. Where are you now?” She followed.

“We just landed in Ghana.” He answered.

“He told me to tell you he’s sorry for taking your necklace with the heart pendant off as you slept. He didn’t want to wake you. But he had to have a piece of you with him.”

“Can I speak to him?” She asked.

“Yes… As soon as he is done checking into his living quarters with the rest of the new physicians.”