Autumns Rend

Blood pouring from his heart, an armor clad man sat there, staring at the image that tore him from his rumination

A bee, on a flower; taking its pollen.

It wasn’t a new sight, this has and will continue to happen time and time again. But this was different. It was the perspective that changed it. The man who stared had remembered handcrafting this exact species a long time ago.

But where there was once care, became violence and bloodshed.

He reached a hand out, taking the bee in his palm. His eyes calculated, recalling the exact details, the creases in the wings, the blood that flows through its veins. The life that he had once fostered.

And he felt the urge to crush it, to snuff away that fragile life.

But just as his hand was starting to close, a noise startled him.

“Hello there! Lovely day isn’t it?” A familiar voice shouted out, disturbing his thoughts. He could only watch as the bee flew out of his hand, right back to the light green flower.

“..it’s the same as any other day..what makes this one different?” He, Yidaro, responded. “Well, I’d say any day is a lovely one, in my eyes everyday is a miracle.” The man responded, Yidaro knew him to be Varrence, someone he could call a friend.

“But, I‘ll humor you; the day’s lovely because you’re here now.” Varrence chuckled, and Yidaro had to suppress a smile. His elvish friend always seemed to be so..positive. It was almost unnatural how he could make the room brighter with just a smile.

It was like he was a light in the dark corners of the world.

Yidaro could only scoff at himself, out of all the metaphors he could’ve chosen..but it fits so well. Because truly, the other did enjoy whenever he’s around; and in a way, he is his light.

“Say, I saw that you were staring at the flowers earlier.” Varrence started, sitting next to Yidaro, “and I must say, you have fine taste..these flowers look delightful!” He said happily, looking over to the taller man.

“..I certainly was..but..” Yidaro wasn’t sure if he even should admit it to the younger man. Varrence had already helped him so much that it felt almost wrong to keep on putting his burdens onto him. He didn’t want to keep on making him worry about his issues.

But, Varrence always seemed one step ahead; placing a hand on Yidaro’s shoulder. He always seemed so serene compared to the rest of the world, Yidaro thought. He could feel his hand,could see his smile. And in a way, it grounded him.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. But, I don’t want you to be in pain alone.” Varrence said, a tone of concern in his voice. “I have not forgotten all those times you were in pain, now I want to help you in any way I can.”

Varrence took a deep breath, before continuing. “So please, let me be the one to hear you. Let me be the one to alleviate that burden.” He finished, looking solemn.

Yidaro hesitated, before relaxing. If the other really wanted hear his woes, then…he supposed it was fine to tell him.

“Recently, I have been slipping once again into old habits.” He gestured towards the bee. "Thinking about harming the very things that I used to care so deeply for.” He sighed, “I find that I cannot bring myself to see nature in the way I used to. Even after I have seen a different path.” He finally looked over to Varrence, into his bright brown eyes reflecting his smile.

“Even now, your gaze still remains so bright. Why? Doesn’t this irritate you, that a god such as myself can’t even act the part? Can't even see the beauty that lies within ” Yidaro looks away, his eyes shut in frustration; why, why couldn’t he control his own emotions?

Why must he be so petulant?

Then, he heard a rustle, and two hands clasp over his own. But he didn’t want to open his eyes, he felt..shame. Shame that even after eons of living, he still couldn’t get over his own fears.

“Hey..it’s ok.” Varrence started, before Yidaro cut him off. “No, it isn’t..I should have more control over my emotions..I should’ve been the god that people needed. Not the one that caused their downfall!” He spat out

Varrence was silent for a little bit. Mindlessly tapping his hands against the other’s larger one.

But then, as Yidaro thought he would leave; disgusted. One hand reached up, hesitantly resting on the side of his face, making sure he was comfortable with it before fully relaxing. It rubbed circles onto his cheek while the other hand still rested on the others larger hands.

“Hey..I won’t force you to look at me, or even answer. But can I at least say something to soothe you, even just a little bit?” Varrence asked gently, waiting for his response.

Yidaro contemplated it, it felt..selfish, to ask him for more than he had already provided. He had already done so much, yet Varrence always wanted to do more. But if he wanted to alleviate his worries; then he'd be honored to let him. Yidaro did a slight nod, his hesitance betraying him. He couldn’t see Varrence, but he could hear him shift around.

“Well, we can’t change the past; but I can help you shed some light on it. Yidaro, you weren't in the right state, you were hurting. While what you did wasn’t right. It’s in the past now, and by gods you know not to repeat it.” Varrence murmured, tracing his hand over the others cheek. “I trust you, and I know who you were before; and who you were after. I'm aware of the destruction you've reaped. But I have the intuition that you've learned from your mistakes and now you hold it close.”

“Now, let’s talk about your future.” Varrence continued, placing his other hand on Yidaros cheek. Yidaro couldn’t help but to lean into the others hands, the others presence brought him warmth and comfort. Like spring flowers blooming in the sun.

“You aren’t alone now, you will never, ever go through that torture again as long as I’m around.” Varrence said, with conviction, “that is a promise I will not break. Not now, not ever. I hold you close to my heart, and I refuse to break that bond we have.” The hands on Yidaros face started to tighten, and Yidaro moved to place his own on top of them. If someone were to ask if it was because he wanted to keep the two of them in this moment. He wouldn’t even bother with an answer

“I promise you, I will never leave you. Every step of the way, I’ll be helping wherever I can. As long as you give me your time.” Varrence murmured, his voice dying down as he looked upon the others still face.

Yidaro was...scared. The last time someone had said that to him. They ended up casting him away and left him to rot in the abyss of time. Letting him waste away as torture wore at his bones. But, for some reason. He felt like he could trust Varrence, that he truly meant what he said. Even if Varrence wouldn’t be able to protect him from forces like Giyago. In that moment, it felt like they were connected.

So, he opened his eyes again. To the other smiling back at him. Yidaros eyes lit up, smiling back. The field of flowers fell back into view as the sun fell over Varrences' curls which accentuated his appearance.

And maybe for once; he would let himself appreciate the view.