Eyes Towards the Horizon

For Beth, the water had always been a place of healing. After a particularly nasty divorce, she had thought about taking up permanent residence under the covers of her big, lonely king-sized bed. (Why “King” exactly? And why “Master” bedroom? Did everything have to be engendered and patriarchal?)

She didn’t hate men. Far from it. She just hated having to explain herself when salesmen (salespeople! Dammit, she was doing it too!) When salespeople called, she hated having to explain that there was no “man of the house” for them to talk to. Inevitably, their response was always “oh, I’m sorry,” and hers was always “I’m not.” Ugh. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to get a reputation as a lonely, bitter, man-hating divorcee.

Okay, yes, she was lonely. She had met Karl shortly after her residency ended. After 80-hour work weeks with inconsistent food and sleep, it was wonderful to put on a dress, do her hair and makeup, and actually go out in public with other humans. Unfortunately, it had been so long since she had had a social life, that most of her friends had disappeared into the ether of their own busy lives. She had declined so many times that the invitations had stopped coming. Of course, they understood that she was finishing med school, no offense was taken, but eventually, her friendships had faded, and by the time her schedule had freed up…well, there was Karl. Karl and his friends, his club, his choice of restaurant, his ordering for both of them.

It had all seemed so romantic and chivalrous at first. The older, successful surgeon spending time and money on her. Going to such an effort to buy her beautiful clothes and jewelry. Looking back, she realized that the gifts and attention were just his way of isolating her, controlling her, and keeping her from having any other relationships.

He even tried to keep her from her family. It had been such a slow, seemingly innocuous transition, that she failed to recognize it as the social power-play that it was. She had failed to realize a lot of things. Her family had noticed. The trip to Napa that had conflicted with her niece’s birthday, Thanksgiving spent with his friends in Portland, Christmas in Barbados. It was her sister who finally alerted her when it had been more than a year since she had seen her niece and nephew. Even during her most hectic med school days, she had still managed to make Sunday dinners at least once a month. Karl had slowly and deliberately pulled her away from that which she cared about most in the world. She was astonished at how easily she had become his puppet.

Beth sighed, curling her toes in the warm sand. She had been on her way to becoming quite the Stepford wife, hadn’t she? Little by little she had compromised and given up things that were important to her: her house, her family, sex…when had they stopped having sex? Karl had always been a bit “fussy” about sex. He wouldn’t touch her during her period – or the two days before or after. He required her to bathe before coming to bed, and believed that oral sex was unhygienic. He paid for her to have a full Brazilian wax every six weeks. Despite the fact that his face never got anywhere near her crotch, he certainly had a lot of demands about her crotchal region.

Ellen snorted and peered into her empty cocktail glass. Yes, she was fairly sure that she had heard the term “crotchal region” used in her pre-med anatomy class. Grinning to herself, she signaled the server to bring her another one of the delicious tropical concoction she had just sucked down in two minutes flat.

“Put that on my tab, will you, please, Paulo?” inquired an unfamiliar baritone voice.

Beth shaded her eyes and looked up to take in the view of a scruffily handsome beach bum. Brightly flowered broad shorts, frayed white linen shirt open to reveal a flat, tan, abdomen, stubble on his chin, sun-streaked light brown hair that curled over his collar, and…was that a braid? Or a Rasta lock? She would have to consider later, because just then, grubby beach guy did two things simultaneously that stopped her already-tipsy brain from thinking further. First, he smiled, exposing perfect, white teeth, and then he lifted his sunglasses, revealing gorgeous, sea-blue eyes, sparkling with mirth.

“Hello there, I’m Jake, may I buy you a drink?”

“I don’t need, that is, I can, I mean, I…(STOP SPUTTERING YOU IMBICILE,) yes, sure. Thank you. Would you care to join me?”

“I would love to, but I have a rule about not having drinks with strangers. As I mentioned, I’m Jake.” Jake gave an amusingly formal bow, bending at the waist, then offering Beth his hand. “And you are…?”

“Oh gosh, sorry! I’m Elizabeth. Beth! Beth Benson, how do you do?”

She took his outstretched hand and gave it a brief shake. Warm. Firm. Slightly rough. The moment that their hands clasped, Beth felt a jolt of awakening, remembering when those words were used to describe acts other than handshaking. Why she should have such a thought upon touching this stranger was no mystery. He was stunningly handsome in a grubby sort of way. Karl had been Brooks Brothers handsome – like those “silver foxes” on the cover of the Prevention magazines in her office lobby. Jake looked like he spent his days shucking coconuts and surfing. She recognized the appeal.

Ugh. How long would she compare every man that she ever met with her shitty, controlling, manipulative, sex-phobic, ex-spouse?

Their drinks arrived and Beth decided that she didn’t want to think about Karl anymore during this trip. This trip was for her – to relax, to unwind, to get some exercise, and, goddammit, to have sex with a cabana boy or beach bum if she was inclined.

“Would you like to…” they both started in unison.

“I’m sorry, go ahead.” “What?” they spoke over each other.

“You first.” Beth offered.

“I was wondering if you would care to join me for some paddle boarding. I have a big board and it’s going to be a beautiful sunset soon. It will be great out on the sand bar.”

“I’ve never done it before is it hard?” (Was everything going to be a double entendre with them? Yes, apparently so.)

“It only takes a few minutes to learn how to balance. I bet I could get you up in fewer than ten minutes.”

“Even if I’ve had a few of these?” Beth asked, indicating her nearly empty drink.

“It’s a calm evening. I believe in you.” His eyes sparkled with merriment and seemed to offer a challenge.

“What about sharks? Will they think that we’re a harbor seal and try to eat us?”

“Highly unlikely. First, there are no harbor seals in the Caribbean. Second, the sharks don’t usually come in the shallows. You can practically walk all the way out to the reef and the sand bar.”

“Why not?” Beth spoke the words as she thought them in her head. Why not take a ride with a scruffy beach bum? Why not indeed? He would probably want to charge her for the lesson, but she didn’t mind. She needed to step out of her restrictive comfort zone and do something fun, spontaneous, and maybe a little dangerous.

After settling the tab, Jake got his board and paddle out of a locker near the beach cabanas, and showed her how to stand up straight, chest forward, eyes towards the horizon. (Gee, he was just full of metaphors, wasn’t he?)

“Don’t look down at the water. Hunching like that makes it more difficult to find your center.”

“But what about things in the water?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye out for you,” Jake promised, “you’re doing great! Look! You’ve got it! That was three minutes, max! Nice job!”

Beth grinned broadly, concentrating on the lighthouse on the horizon, and paddling. He was right, she had found her center. It was a little bit like riding a bike – there were several components to manage at the same time, but once you did, it was pretty easy.

The sky had turned a stunning pink with streaks of purple and orange. She glanced down at Jake, now up to his sculpted chest in the water. She momentarily lost her balance, then corrected herself. (Ah, more metaphors, she thought, smiling to herself.)

“You look amazing! You’re a goddess up there! Well done!” Jake enthused. Beth had to admit, he was a great teacher.

Soon they were in the reef, and Jake started swimming beside her, so as not to disturb the coral formations. When they were still about 10 yards from the spot where she could see the waves breaking over the sandbar. The sky was an explosion of color and she looked up, mesmerized by the view.

Beth jerked, overcorrected, and lost her balance, causing the board to rocket out from under her, and hit Jake right in the face. Jake yelped, and went under, resurfacing with the paddle, and blood dripping from his nose.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! You’re bleeding!” Beth closed the distance between them in no time, and immediately started assessing. “Is it okay if I touch you?” she inquired.

“Please do,” he quipped, securing the board, and shaking the water from his shaggy hair.

Beth gently palpitated the back of his head, his nose, and examined his teeth and chin. “Shut up, you idiot. I’m a doctor. You’re bleeding. You could have a head lac. Your nose isn’t broken. Can you take a few breaths through your nose?”

Jake did as she instructed, taking three big breaths. “I’m fine,” he said “it’s a simple epistaxis – and a minor one at that. Look, the bleeding’s almost stopped.”

“You don’t know…wait, what?”

“I’m a reconstructive plastic surgeon. I assure you, nothing is broken, deviated, chipped, or permanently damaged. Are you okay? Did you scrape the coral?”

"You’re a…" comprehension dawned slowly in Beth's brain that was muddled with alcohol, adrenaline, and lust.

“Surgeon. Yes. Doctor Jacob Mielke. Nice to meet you again, Doctor Benson. What’s your specialty?”

“Holy shit. Jacob Mielke from Sanai? I just read your paper about the kid in…wait…that was here. You…”

“Had a patient that I operated on last year as part of a Doctors Without Borders trip. He needed a follow-up, and they needed a new school built, in the village, so I took a sabbatical. I’ve been working on my tan at the build site during the day, and picking up hot women at night.”

"Stop. I’m not…"

"You most certainly are. But I’ll tell you a secret, Dr. Beth Benson, you’re the first woman that I’ve picked up since I’ve been here.” He grinned, paddling closer to her. “So? What’s your deal?”

“Ear, nose, and throat. Private practice, but I did my residency at St. Matt’s.”

“I have privileges at St. Matt’s – how come I haven’t heard of you?”

“I recently changed back to my maiden name.”

“Ah okay then. Good. What…shooting star! Make a wish.”

Beth watched the star streak across the fading purple sky and, as their bodies were pushed together by the gentle current, thought that this moment couldn’t be any more perfect. Then she made a wish, and grinned.

“Wow, that’s quite a look. Must have been some wish.” Jake offered.

“I wished that you would kiss me.”

“That’s fantastic,” Jake breathed, drawing her near. “I wished for the same thing.”

**********

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