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Drowning
not worth saving
![](https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1024/651894b5879653001d875f3b.jpg)
The night's darker than the last, colder. My wings work overtime against the wind to carry me to the nearest light.
A sense of foreboding presses into me with each gust of air, making me feel an overwhelming need to find a safe place to take cover. I wish I knew what this meant. Sadly, I'm inexperienced. A hatchling without guidance. All I can rely on for survival are my baser instincts.
With a destination in sight, I flap my wings harder, driven by an urgency that scares me. I get a few feet when something new fills the air, making my wings feel heavy with moisture. A word clicks in my head: precipitation. I don't know where that thought came from. All I know is that it sounds bad.
The sound of rumbling takes me by surprise, as does the water falling from the sky. It batters against me, pushing me lower to the ground- a place I know will be the death of me.
Dread fills me. My days are already numbered, and if I fall, I fear I won't get to see them through.
What angered the sky to make it act this way?
Focusing on my goal, I beat my wings faster. The light is brighter now, and my heart skips with relief, knowing that safety is within reach.
Almost there!
The next drop that lands on me sends me plummeting, and my premature celebration sinks alongside me. I hit the ground with a splat, and find myself ensnared in cold water.
Panicking, I splash and struggle against the captivity of the liquid. My efforts are futile, and I resort to praying, hoping the world will be merciful and spare me.
Footsteps approach, and for a second, I think my prayers might be answered.
With a spurt of energy, I begin thrashing to make a noise so that you'll hear me.
It works. You stop and look down at me, noticing my predicament. Yet your pause goes on for longer than I can tolerate, and I start to wonder what might be the cause. Surely, you can see I'm in need of your help?
I lift my head as much as my form allows to meet your eyes.
Help me.
It shouldn't be necessary to request such a thing. Wouldn't someone with a kind heart attempt to save someone in distress if they noticed them drowning?
Even though I'm weak, I give a couple of twitches to express my duress. Only your reaction isn't the one I was expecting.
You recoil and glare at me with eyes full of cruelty and revulsion, a look of contempt that I've done nothing to earn.
Ew, a bug. Your gaze seems to say.
I flinch with hurt. I'm sorry that my kind disgusts you, but I cannot help what I am.
You stare down at me for a long moment with much difficulty, and I can tell you're indecisive about something.
I wish I could give you the time you need to not feel so uncomfortable with me, but I don't have any. I'm dying with each second that passes.
Finally, you seem to come to a conclusion. You sigh and shake your head, indicating that I am not worth saving.
I know I'm only an insect, but please, just give me a chance. I try to scream with another spasm, fluttering my wings in a vain attempt to gain your sympathy.
It's energy wasted.
You spare me a last look as you step over me, you're brow quirked to silently say, you only have yourself to blame for your situation. As if I hadn't tried to prevent this.
With that, my fight leaves me, drained away with my energy and taking my hope with it.
It was not my intention to end up in this position. I did not go looking for trouble. I did not create this problem for attention. But when I call for help, I'm shamed and accused of playing the victim.
I lower my head at the sound of your receding footsteps, losing faith in humanity. My wings droop with defeat. You have forsaken me, a small, harmless creature that has done nothing to deserve this fate, simply for just existing. When I begged for your compassion, you responded with malice.
Who's the true villain here?
That despondent thought lingers as I begin to fade. I let the chill numb me so I don't have to feel this rejection with my final breath.
As I descend into oblivion, my last thought is that I hope no one else ever finds themselves dependent on you as a lifeline...
for you'd let them drown.
*
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Story inspired by song: Take A Moment To Breathe by normal the kid
About the Creator
Brin J.
I have a few stories and poems inside me that I want to share. Maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll reach people who'll enjoy them. 📖
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Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (23)
I am just glad that you did not get squished, though maybe it would have been more humane than drowning. Perhaps life still lingers. Late but still congrats on a well written story.
Wow! That was incredible! First, I love stories that come from an unexpected POV, like an insect! It was done with such genius, describing how the insect bee to life perceived things. I think you nailed that. And the story was so great, so heartbreaking. I loved the message, any soul can be worth saving, it was especially heartbreaking when the insect thought about how it had done nothing to repulse the person and didn’t choose any of this. I love a good story that makes you think. Well done! I see why this placed so high in the contest!
This was so clever with the perspective you chose. This could easily be two humans, one ignoring the other because they are different or not understood.
Wow... this is so cleverly written, with such a unique perspective & no dialogue... amazing depth. "When I begged for your compassion, you responded with malice. Who's the true villain here?" Well deserved placing in the comp.
This is an ingenious exercise in empathetic imaginative projection. Have you read Nagel's "What Is it Like to Be a Bat"? You've supplied the mothy version and left it all unspoken. Slick.
Oh wow, Brin!! I loved the perspective you chose and how I could see myself in both positions, not understand the other at all or maybe not even trying. Brilliant work and congratulations on placing!! So sorry I was late to see this.
dudeeeeeee , your work is out of this world :)) , bro you're ssooooo talented. LOL be my SENSEI :P
This is absolutely fantastic 💯
This passage creates a powerful atmosphere of uncertainty and survival, and the use of imagery is quite evocative. The feeling of being lost and inexperienced adds depth to the narrative.
Very well done. Congrats on placing in the challenge.
Very unique, a nice touch and written beautifully. Congratulations
Congratulations! 🎉
Ohhhhhhhhhhh yay! So glad this placed. Congrats congrats and congrats, Brin! Well done. Loved this first time around!
Brin, your descriptive language was so vivid and beautifully laid out!! This situation is so heartbreaking but also relatable!! I felt like the moth drowning could have been a metaphor for how people can treat other, even those of us that may not have a general understanding for all human kind! Great work!!
This reminds me of your spider story! This was brilliant. I truly felt sorry for the poor insect.
What a unique and creative take on the challenge. Excellent work.
And as we read this story we are left to ponder: with whom or what do we identify most in this story? Are we the bug, not worth saving? Are we the one who sees but passes by? Are we the rain, pelting with our abuse? Are we the light, beckoning & encouraging another toward their salvation? Are we those remaining aloof who have no idea how to help? Or are we the child, as yet unheard from in this story, bending down to scoop the insect from its doom?
Brin, this was so masterfully an beautifully written that by the end I was mourning more than just the creature! Was reminded of anytime someone needed help and compassion but was met with derision and being blamed for their predicament! brilliant!
What angered the sky? ❤️ What a way with words ❤️
Hauntingly poignant yet written flawlessly.
Awesome fictional story with an important message!!! Brilliantly written!!!❤️❤️💕
Brin J.: Beautiful writing! The intimacy of 1st Person storytelling made me feel connected and distressed. I crossed into oblivion. Bravo!👏✍️👏✍️
Fantastic story!