Bull Ride

Walt considered himself to be a cowboy. He’d been born and raised on a ranch and had never known city life. Never wanted to. His dad had been a cowboy, his grandpa had been a cowboy, and his great grandpa had been a cowboy. It was in his blood, and it was all he ever wanted to be.

As time went on though, ranch life had become less and less profitable, up to the point where bills weren’t getting paid. Walt had even been giving serious thought to selling the ranch. That was until his wife had brought an idea to his attention. She had seen other ranches, looking to make some extra money, start offering cowboy experience weekends. Walt was reluctant at first, but when he saw what people were willing to pay, he quickly changed his attitude. If it meant he could keep his ranch and keep living his cowboy life, putting up with a few strangers each weekend was worth it.

“I want to ride that bull over there!”

Most of the time. There was always someone in the bunch who tested Walt’s patience.

“Uh… that’s not really part of this particular cowboy experience,” said Walt.

“I paid for a cowboy experience, and I want a cowboy experience!”

Walt stopped and turned to face the group. He had been leading them to the stable, where they would learn how to saddle and mount some very tame horses. Riding wild bulls was not going to happen.

“Ron, is it?” asked Walt.

“Yeah,” replied Ron, the man who had shouted about the bull.

“Ron, do you have any experience riding a bull?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you have any experience riding a horse?”

“No.”

“Do you have any experience riding any animal whatsoever?”

“No.”

“So, what makes you think a wild bull would be a good place to start learning?”

“I’ve seen rodeos before. I know cowboys ride bulls, and I paid to be a cowboy this weekend.” Ron pointed over towards the bull. “Look, there’s even a couple guys getting ready to ride it right now.”

“Those guys over there have been practicing most of their lives to ride bulls. Those guys over there are real cowboys. Those guys over there aren’t going to get themselves trampled and killed when they fall off a bucking bull. You, Ron, have never ridden an animal in your life. You are an office worker wearing a cowboy hat, and you will likely end up dead if I let you anywhere near that bull.”

“Yeah, whatever. Like I said, I’ve seen rodeos before and there’s nothing those guys do that I can’t.”

“Alright then, let’s all go have a closer look.” Walt led the group towards the bull and the two men waiting beside it.

As the group got closer, the bull began to appear much bigger than it had from a distance. It was hundreds of pounds of pure muscle, covered in shiny, coarse black fur. Huge horns, as long as an arm, protruded from each side of its head. Its entire body seemed tensed, waiting for an opportunity to break free from the small area where it was presently contained.

“Ron, why don’t you come say hi to Barney?” Walt gestured towards the bull.

“Barney? What a scary name for a bull,” Ron said sarcastically.

“Come on, give him a little pet,” Walt taunted.

Ron walked over, much more cautiously than his attitude called for. He slowly extended a hand and nervously reached through the fence. His fingers were a fraction of an inch from touching the hair on Barney’s front shoulder when the bull let out a sudden snort. Ron pulled his hand away so fast, it actually threw him off balance and he awkwardly stumbled backwards. The others in the group tried unsuccessfully to contain their laughter.

“That’s okay, Ron. Barney’s not as friendly as his name would suggest.” Walt looked over at the two men who’d been preparing to ride the bull. “So, how about it guys? Want to give us a little show? Ron here thinks that bull riding looks easy.”

The two men laughed and shook their heads in amused disbelief.

“Sure, boss. Kyle was just about to give it a go,” said Sean.

The group watched as one of the cowboys, Kyle, very carefully climbed up the fence and gently made his way onto the bull’s back.

“Kyle here has been riding bulls for more than 15 years. He’s won more competitions than I’d care to name. He’s also broken more bones, torn more muscles, and dislocated more shoulders than anyone has bothered to keep track of.” Walt watched as Kyle adjusted the straps and ropes that would hopefully keep him on the bull and not under it. “Kyle’s going to try and stay on this bull for 8 seconds, and I assure you it’s going to feel like the longest 8 seconds of his life.”

Kyle looked over at Walt and nodded, then over at Sean, who was in position to open the gate.

“Let’s go,” said Kyle confidently.

Sean swung open the gate, giving Barney the freedom he’d been waiting for. The bull burst out of the stall, releasing all of the pent-up energy it had been saving. It was wild, jumping around, doing its best to rid itself of the unwanted rider on its back. No matter how hard it bucked though, Kyle was determined to keep himself in place.

Kyle looked like a rag doll getting tossed around on Barney’s back. The bull would not relent, but Kyle somehow managed to hang on for the full 8 seconds. Sean let out a loud whistle, signalling Kyle it was time to dismount. Trying to time his jump along with Barney’s, Kyle attempted to leap clear of the bull. He almost made it, but something had snagged his glove. No longer in control of his movements, Kyle was violently jerked around and nearly trampled. With great effort, he managed to reach up with his free hand to release his stuck hand from the straps.

Sean was already in position, running to distract Barney, as Kyle rolled away from the bull. He moved as quickly as he could, but clearly his leg had been injured and there was an obvious limp as he ran. He was cradling his right arm with his left when he finally made it to the fence. Walt opened the gate and let him out of the bull pen. Kyle was panting, out of breath, as he leaned back against the fence.

“Well, Ron, what do you say?” asked Walt. “Think you can do what Kyle does?”

Ron, still not wanting to admit defeat, was quick to reply. “We’ll see. I suppose we could start with the horses and maybe come back to this a little later.”

“Sure, Ron, whatever you say.” Walt turned to look at Kyle. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll manage. Guess I’m done for the season though,” answered Kyle.

“Yeah, I’d say so,” said Walt.

“Done? Wait, so you’re telling me even real cowboys get scared off by that bull?” interrupted Ron.

Walt laughed. “Kyle, are you scared of that bull out there?”

Kyle laughed as well. “Not even a little.”

“Why don’t you tell Ron why your season’s over?”

Without a word, Kyle released the grip on his right arm and held it up for Ron to see. The arm had an extra bend in between the elbow and wrist, almost 90 degrees.

While everyone else simply gasped in shock, Ron’s head gave a little wobble before he dropped like a stone, passed out.

Walt made no attempt to assist Ron as he looked around at the rest of the group. “And that’s why Ron is never going to be a cowboy, and also why we don’t ride bulls in this program. Now, who wants to go see some horses?”