Beyond Normal Walls

Misinformation of life is what brought me here. I was feed ideas that life was an enjoyable journey that was filled with amazing moments you would never forget. For most of my life, this was true. I was born to a couple that was only 17 years old, but quickly turned a dollar into millions. Not only was money never in short supply, love wasn’t either. My family was raised to be close to each other. We all helped with the family business while younger to spend time with family and to also make money if needed. My dad would always say that we had it so easy. That in reality life isn’t so quick to give you everything. I thought for years he was just trying to say something to make me tougher. How could life be hard? There was a concept that you could follow, and you were destined for success. The only problem is when you don’t follow the model. You were born, and raised, and then you went to school, you go to college, and get a job that brings you the money you needed. The problem with people was they never wanted to stick to the model… Well, that’s what I thought the problem with people was. However, I wasn’t explained that that there was other extensions of life.

The darkness.

The coldness.

THE HARD TRUTH. However, everyone is not introduced to this part of life, but I guess because I was given such an easy journey, I was given this. My life was perfect. I graduated honors all throughout my academic life, and was given a scholarship to one of the top medical schools even though I didn’t need it. I met the woman of my drams, and didn’t waste time there. I had the hardest job, but it was the most rewarding in every way…

“John, I can’t keep doing this!” Jamie stared at me in disdain, as she pushed the prescription into my hand. I could tell she was disturbed to see me looking like this, but a part of her knew why. “I won’t ask for it again” I muttered, but she didn’t look convinced. She stared at me, before sighing and walking back to her car leaving me outside alone. I held the bag tightly as I quickly walked into the doors that use to be so alive, but now were just silence. I locked the door behind me, and quickly started to prepare the items I needed. My heart pounded as excitement started to course through me.

Tearing the bag open, I quickly administered the liquid in the vile into my body, and plopped down. Waiting for the effects to take over. Waiting to just be able to feel just something again.

“Danny, what are you doing?” My eyes widened, as I looked up at her. She gave me a stern look, as she sat down next to me. I sighed, and let my head hit the back of the couch. “Life is hard, and I don’t know. Sometimes I just need the relief..” I mumbled, and she shook her head, as tears fell down her face. “Your father and I didn’t raise you to be this way! You have such a bright future, and you’re so talented, so why are you doing this to yourself?” She said.

I shrugged, “Not like I have anyone to even listen to me” I could tell she was evaluating me, trying to understand what was wrong. Something she always did anytime she felt I was hurting. She sighed, before plopping next to me and grabbing my hand into hers. “I use to feel like you, Danny. Before you were born, and before I met your father. I felt like nobody listened to me. I felt I was alone, especially when my mom … your grandmother… would always get drunk and become belligerent. Don’t get me wrong, your nana was a sweetheart that could cook anything you could think of, and she always tried to show nothing but love, but there was something inside of her eating her up whole, causing her to do things she shouldn’t do. Im saying this because during those years I was the only child and I was the one who had to take care of her and stop her. Your grandpa had to work a lot, and so I was the one who dealt with her being angry and yelling. Trying to break things or even hurt me. I thought it would never get better, and I would pray for God to take her problems away from her so she could just be good and happy. For years, nothing happened… until it did.” She said, as she turned to me and smile. “You were born. At 17 years old, I had you and as soon as you came. She changed. Never touched a bottle again. My point is that in the moment things may seem like it’ll never get better, or you may even feel like this is the end of the world, but trust God has something amazing waiting for you. You just have to be patient and keep believing. Relief will eventually come, and you will not be the one administering it.” She stopped and stared at me. As if she was looking for something. However, her face fell after staring into my eyes and I knew why. We both knew why.

“I keep telling myself that, mom….I really do, but sometimes it seems like the bad isn’t going away anytime soon…. I don’t think it can.” I mumbled.

“Are you hungry?” She said, as she always did when I was feeling sad or down. I nodded, and she stood and walked into the kitchen. “I got just the thing for you.” She said, as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a pan of baked mac & cheese. My eyes lit up, and my stomach started to growl uncontrollably. “You knew I was coming over, didn’t you?” I said, grinning.

“I know you Danny, and I always know the exact moment you will walk through those doors, and sit on that couch.” She said, with a laugh. “You’ve been doing that since you were a small child, you know that? You would do something that you wasn’t supposed to do, and then just go and plop on the couch and wait for me to find out exactly what you did.” She laughed, which seemed to warm the room. I smiled, as I looked down at my skin, and all the bruises. Her eyes trailed to the exact spot I was looking at and her face fell a bit. She placed the mac and cheese in front of me. “I know it’s hard right now for you, and I know things didn’t turn out the way you expected it to.” She said, “It will get better, and you know you always have us.”

I nodded, “Speaking of us, where is dad?” I asked, and she looked over at the clock. “He should be walking into the room any moment now.” She said, and just like clockwork, the garage door opened and my father walked in with the biggest grin. “DANNY BOY!” He yelled, as he burst into laughter. “We haven’t seen you in a while. I was wondering when you were going to visit.” He said, before grabbing me into a hug and kissing my forehead. I immediately felt a bit of shame. It had been a couple of weeks since I had been home, but so much was happening. I didn’t have the access to come as much as I once did. “Yeah, I knew I needed to come home.” I said, and tried to muster a smile, but tears wanted to fall so badly. “How are you, dad?”

“You know me son, I’m doing good. I get to wake up to that beautiful face every morning, and then I just enjoy life. You know? Oh yeah, Joyce is doing good as well.” At that moment, I felt uncomfortable. I shifted in my seat. “Yeah... Joyce... She just turned five.” I whispered, and my mom nodded, but she could see the sadness in my eyes.

“Yeah, and she loves her daddy, Danny! She really does. She always calling for you, and she’s so smart. She’s excels at everything just like her dad.” He smiled, and looked at me, and I just nodded. “I truly can’t wait till I’m able to spend every day with her again.” I said, and they both smiled. “You’ll get there at the right time.” They both said in unison.

“I’m try...” Before I could finish, I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. My dad looked over at me and grabbed me into a hug. “Son, I know.” He whispered.. At this moment, I couldn’t help it anymore. The tears were falling freely, and my body became limp against my father. It seem like the weight of the world was on me, and I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t understand how I had gotten here, or why I was here. I didn’t understand why everything hurt so badly. I knew I needed to get clean, and if not for me, for Joyce. I knew I needed to get my life together, and I knew I needed to just live my life again, but it seemed... impossible. “Danny, why don’t you stay for dinner? The whole family is coming!” I froze, “the whole, as in...” I stopped, as I thought about my wife’s face. My mom nodded her head, and I just sighed. Did I really want to face her? If anything, she wouldn’t be happy to see me like this. However, to see my daughter sweet face again was worth sitting next to the one woman I loved. I nodded my head, and my mom face turned into the biggest grin. “It’s going to be so nice to finally have my entire family again.” She said, as she grabbed some things out the fridge, and started doing her normal cooking. “Hey son, let’s go watch the game.” My dad said, and I stood up from the chair, and followed my dad into the media room. He sat in his favorite huge brown ugly chair, and smiled. “You know your mom still wants me to get rid of this, and I just refuse to do that.” I smiled, and nodded. “Dad, we’ve all been wanting for you to get rid of that chair.” He shrugged. “It’s my chair! I’ve had this chair since you were 2 years old, and you’re how old now? Old as hell.” He let out a hearty deep laugh, and that made me smile. One thing I could never understand was my father’s jokes, but him laughing made it so hard for you not to laugh. “So, after you leave here, where are you going to go?” He asked, seriously, and I groaned.

“I’ll probably just go home.” I said, and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Which is where?” He said, and I just became quiet. I didn’t want to answer that question. “Son, why don’t you just .... get your life together? You had a life that people would kill for. A beautiful wife, and a amazing daughter, a great job. So, why can’t you just --” He stopped, “That’s insensitive for me to say it like that, but I just don’t want you to be stuck in this rut for this long.” He said.

“It’s been hard to walk into those doors since ... since you know.” He just nodded, and became quiet. We both sat there in complete silence for a while before the doorbell broke the silence and made me jump. I hadn’t heard my dad’s weird doorbell in so long and I missed it. “Go get the door.” He said, and I just nodded. I stood up and walked into the foyer. I could see exactly who it was. I froze as I looked at her beautiful heart-shapped face through the front door. I opened the door, and she just stared at me the same. We were in a daze. “Daddy.” I looked down to see my beautiful little girl, and before she could say anything else I grabbed her into my arms and twirled her around. “Joyce the voice!” I mumbled into my daughter’s curly hair. I could still feel the eyes on me, staring at me intensely. “How long are you here for?” She asked, and I shrugged. “I don’t know, probably not long.” I whispered. She nodded her head, and before I could say anything else, she hugged me and tears started to fall down her face. “I miss you, Danny.” she mumbled, and I nodded my head, using my one free arm to hold her. “I miss you so much, V” She gathered herself, and pulled back a little. “I can’t be selfish.. I know you need to go through your life... I just wish things didn’t end the way they did. I wish you would just come home, Danny! I really do.” We both fell quiet for a while, before she sighed. “I should probably go help your mom in the kitchen.” She said, and I nodded. For the moment, all I could do was stand there.

For once, everything seemed right. Here I was sitting with my family. Sitting with all of the people who loved me. I looked at my brother and sisters as they bickered as they always did. No matter their age, being twins always lead them to fight but maintained to be the closest people you could ever meet. I stared at my mother as she looked at my father with so much love and adoration. They continued to have their little conversation between the two of them, and then my eyes lead over to the most beautiful woman in the room. My wife. I watched as she fed our daughter. I watched as my daughter giggled with each little bit of food.

“I don’t think I’m leaving... I belong here with my family.” The words flew out of my mouth before I could even stop them. I looked at my family, and all of their faces seemed slightly shocked,

“Are you sure you’re ready for that son?” My father looked at me sternly, and I nodded my head. For the first time, in my life, I was extremely sure about that. It was the only thing that felt right, and honestly it was the only thing that can make me happy.

I stared into my wife beautiful big brown eyes as they became bigger, and a smile came onto her face. “I... I...” she froze, and then tears came down her face. I watched her quickly tried to catch her composure, but I knew deep down she was happy to hear that, and I was happy to be able to finally make her smile.

“What do we need to do to help you?” My mother said.

“Nothing...” I whispered, as I looked at my family. “It’s already done.”

--

“Is that who I think it is?” Both detectives look at the lifeless body that laid there with foam slowly falling out the side of his mouth.

“Daniel Meadson!” The other detective said, as if in shock. “I know you’re new to the team, so you probably didn’t know. However, this guy is a complete legend. He built a device that helped with medical procedures, and healing times.”

The new detective stared at him in confusion. “What does that have to do with him being dead now? People do great things all the time.” Detective Rollins looked at the new guy and sighed. “Oh, so you really never heard about what happened huh? Are you even from here?” He said, with a laugh, before he continued. “Around the time he came out with the device, he was being interviewed by every paper in America and he insisted his family come with him to all appearances. Apparently, he was a big family man and said his success was due to them. Well, after his tour, he ended up sending them back home on his private plane. He had to stay behind to handle some deals, and ….” Detective Rollins stopped and shook his head as if he didn’t know if he should continue Infront of the dead man. “The plane blew up in the sky. Only pieces of his family was found, and I mean his whole family was on there. His wife and daughter, his parents, and his twin siblings. He never got to say goodbye or anything.” He said and shook his head. “And there were rumors that he got into an argument with the family, which made it that much worse when he got the news that the plane blew up.” The new detective looked mortified as he stared at his body. They both stared in silence before finally telling them to send in the Medical Examiner.

“You think this was an accidental overdose or a….?” The new detective trailed off, as he looked at Rollins

“Im not sure… but I think he just wanted to be free.”

“Well, now he is!” He said, and Rollins looked at the other detective and nodded his head. “I hope so.”

“Why you say it like that?”

“you just never know what life has for you.”