An untold story of one seaman

My entire life I have never met a person who would be indifferent to the sea. Most people love the sea, adore it. They picture slowly dancing turquoise waves, a light breeze and specular surface reflecting the skies. Hundreds of poets, musicians and artists are inspired by the sea and dedicate their works to it. As for me, I hate it. I hate the waters with all my heart and soul. Perhaps, because I often see the ugly and horrific side of the sea, the wild roar of cold plumbeous waves, a deafening howl of wind and the hopeless and desperate cries of fellow sailors. The sea is a starving beast, devouring everything that gets in its way. It`s a ruthless abyss, dragging down the victims indiscriminately.

They say the sea is infinite. I can`t argue with that. 27 days ago I left Spain on board of the ship “Hope”. I constantly feel nauseated. No, I am not seasick, I am just sick because all I see is the sea. According to my calculations, we are going to reach the shores of America within 2 days.

Everyone thinks that life in the sea is a romantic fairy tale and they picture a sailor as a constantly drunk and happy person who finds women and adventures at every turn. But we are not, all the seamen are broken in one way or another. We are the people who don't belong anywhere on earth. We either run from our unpleasant past or try to reach a better future. Besides the captain Benjamin Brown, it's only seven of us onboard and we are carrying the most valuable cargo – gold and alcohol. I suspect the captain is transporting something as well, probably illegal. I and two other sailors helped him to load a long wooden box, which looked like a coffin. Brown locked it in the small cabin downstairs and didn't let anybody in, not even me, despite that I'm his second-in-command. I think that was the main reason why he recruited an incomplete crew, the fewer people know about his business, the better.

I heard many various gossips about our captain. Some people called him the devil incarnate. No one knows what he did to anger the God, but Benjamin Brown regularly gets caught in the most severe and cruel storms. However, I must say, captain always comes out of these storms safe and sound. He and his ship “Hope” are one, they speak the same language. That's why only few sailors would risk to go to sea under his command. Seamen are very superstitious folk. I wasn't the exception. I was contemplating if I should go to sea with Brown, but the common sense won over the prejudice in the end. Anyway, I was on edge the entire journey.

The storm came out of nowhere around 9 o'clock in the evening. Dark clouds came from north, quickly covering the sky. From time to time blinding lightnings cut through the absolute darkness. The thunder rattled, but soon we couldn't hear it anymore because of the deafening whistle of the cold and gusty wind. The heavy rain lashed out, flooding the deck. The “Hope” started to shiver and creak under the constant hits of black waves. I could hear her long and heartbreaking groan. The fierce storm was attacking the ship as his archenemy with the sole purpose – obliteration.

I heard captain shouting the commands in his attempts to resist this relentless force of nature. We had been fighting the unequal battle for more than an hour, when somebody screamed “Land! I see Land!” Then I noticed a green light afar. Captain abruptly changed the course towards the lighthouse, skillfully maneuvering between the rocks. The crew bustled. This cold pale green light gave them strength and hope for survival.

Unfortunately I'm the only one who sees the truth – this hope is desperate, same hope that was left at the bottom of Pandora's box. I know that salvatory shores are too far and the storm doesn't want to give up. All I have left is to pray to St. Anthony for my erring soul and the souls of fellow sailors.

No matter how many beacons are at sea illuminating the darkness, Neptunian abyss always finds the way to collect its rightful souls.