All The World Loves A Clown

She caught herself flinching as he passed behind her, dragging his fingertips across the fabric on her chair. Without the slightest touch, she closed her eyes and disappeared into a memory of the last time he HAD touched her. Her body bore the scars that were given to remind her exactly who was in charge.

Her breath began to quicken matching the beats of her heart. She waited for the inevitable battle that followed his arrival.

She could never have imagined that this lovely boy she'd met less than a year ago would be the one to teach her so much about the real world, in such a short time.

His gentleness caught her off guard as he hesitated on the curb outside the Funny Bone, a comedy club she and her friends were headed to.

But, there he was, smiling down at her with the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. He winked at her while holding his coat over the taxi door she was exiting, in an attempt to keep her dry from the latest Seattle downpour.

No one could have predicted that in just a few weeks, he would be the same boy who would show her just what true terror was.

At first, she made excuses for him.

He would tearfully reassure her that he was sorry and ashamed swearing that it would never happen again, giving her gifts and smothering her with affection. He was skilled at convincing her that it was just stress and poor judgment that drove him into the rage that consumed him.

He groveled, begging for her forgiveness, he told her that she was the only one who could save him from the demons that plagued him. Promised that with her help, he would make it all up to her. They could be what they were before.

As she took him back, time and time again, he showed her the truth. His hands and mouth spoke different languages, telling her completely different stories and then pressing rewind, repeating them over and over again.

He enjoyed reminding her that no one would believe her, made her doubt her own sanity. Made her feel she was to blame.

By the time she gained the courage and confidence to stand up for herself, he would discover new ways to break her down. Leaving her feeling all alone, trapped and unloved.

She sat in her chair, struggling to find the strength to do what needed to be done. As he undressed and climbed into the shower, she felt a power inside her rumbling, boiling until she could no longer hold it in.

She grabbed the overnight bag she had packed earlier, stashed under the end table. Taking one last, long look at the reflection of the girl she knew in the mirror on the wall, and smiled.

The elevator doors opened with a “DING” in the minute it took to descend from the 31st floor, those were the thoughts that convinced her to run.