A Not So Romantic Christmas
For Real Poetic’s Holiday Jamboree! Microfiction Challenge
Below is my entry into Real Poetic's Holiday Jamboree! Microfiction Challenge. Here is her link, if you'd like to join in.
The diamond sparkled brightly as the lights on the Christmas tree, as Jack, on bended knee, flipped open the velvet box and asked me to be his bride.
I probably should have come up with a better response than screaming “GO TO HELL,” but I did just catch him making out with my sister. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just kicked him in the crotch.
Yet there I was, standing in the living room, surrounded by my family looking at me like I was the crazy one. Jack was still there, on bended knee, with a look of shock on his face; and but for sheer restraint, his testicles still dangling between his legs, and not stuck in his throat.
With the sound of Mariah screeching “All I want for Christmas is you,” and my mother screeching about what an embarrassment I was to the family, I walked to the bar and poured myself a shot of Vodka. And then I poured another.
When Mom grabbed my arm to drag me outside, while chirping in my ear about “these things should be done in private,” I yelled something else that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said.
“Well, tell Marcie she should have found a private place to fuck my boyfriend.”
Other than the sound of Elvis’s Blue Christmas, you could have heard a pin drop. With half the room staring at me, and the other half giving Marcie and Jack the evil eye, I got the stark realization that Mom was right. I should have done this in private.
But it was out there. There was nothing I could do but pour myself another drink, look Marcie dead in the eye and say, “Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas, you ho!
About the Creator
Cathy holmes
Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.
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Compelling and original writing
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Comments (41)
Congratulations on placing in the contest. this was hilarious and visual
Oh dear... what a rat & rotten sister to match!
“Merry Christmas, you ho!” HAHAHA good line!!
😲 Honestly, I thought you showed tremendous restraint. They had it coming! Great story!
this is so entertaining and humorous, i really enjoyed it!
Oh damn! This was hilarious, sad, embarrassing and just fantastic! Great work, my friend. Congrats on Top Story :)
🤣🤣🤣🤣 merry Christmas you ho! HA I want that to be my seasons greetings message this year!! Great story.
LoL! It should definitely not have occurred in private! Excellent!
Cathy, this made me laugh. Your stuff can be so irreverent that it shocks me but also makes me smile naughtily. Ho ho ho to the ho! Just great.
Love it. It feels so real and relatable - and funny.
Yayyyyy you got a Top Story! Merry Christmas! Sorry I mean congratulations!
Dang you hit all the right and naughty notes here!! Congratulations 🎉 on top story
LOL! Gurl you rocked this! Go Cathy Go! 😍
Congratulations!! 🎉
This is absolutely fantastic, brutal truth and funny as hell… and pure Cathy!! 😜🤣😎
Congrats on the top story!! 😁😁 this one was so good 🫣🤣
Christmas is ruined! LOL Poor thing. Great micro.
Sometimes the drama is also entertainment, for the readers at least. Well done and Congrats!!!
Cathy this was phenomenal!! I love the drama and intensity you've packed into such a small piece! Great work and congrats on Top Story!!
Wow - that's quite a Christmas memory!
This is such a very bad Xmas story Cathy, OMG, what a Christmas they all must have had. I need to know more, dish it all up. Nothing better than some good ol xmas gossip, Congrats on TS.
hahahaha christmas aren't supposed to be romantic
I do love your attitude! Jeez, this should be an episode of All My Children, or Days of Our Lives, or whatever soaps the young people watch these days. (Not that I ever watched any of those, of course.) Congratulations on Top Story, you miscreant!
Nice
Lol! Now that is a real Christmas story!