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A Not So Romantic Christmas

For Real Poetic’s Holiday Jamboree! Microfiction Challenge

By Cathy holmesPublished 3 months ago 2 min read
Top Story - November 2023
47
photo by Alshu Vershinina on Unsplash

Below is my entry into Real Poetic's Holiday Jamboree! Microfiction Challenge. Here is her link, if you'd like to join in.

The diamond sparkled brightly as the lights on the Christmas tree, as Jack, on bended knee, flipped open the velvet box and asked me to be his bride.

I probably should have come up with a better response than screaming “GO TO HELL,” but I did just catch him making out with my sister. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just kicked him in the crotch.

Yet there I was, standing in the living room, surrounded by my family looking at me like I was the crazy one. Jack was still there, on bended knee, with a look of shock on his face; and but for sheer restraint, his testicles still dangling between his legs, and not stuck in his throat.

With the sound of Mariah screeching “All I want for Christmas is you,” and my mother screeching about what an embarrassment I was to the family, I walked to the bar and poured myself a shot of Vodka. And then I poured another.

When Mom grabbed my arm to drag me outside, while chirping in my ear about “these things should be done in private,” I yelled something else that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said.

“Well, tell Marcie she should have found a private place to fuck my boyfriend.”

Other than the sound of Elvis’s Blue Christmas, you could have heard a pin drop. With half the room staring at me, and the other half giving Marcie and Jack the evil eye, I got the stark realization that Mom was right. I should have done this in private.

But it was out there. There was nothing I could do but pour myself another drink, look Marcie dead in the eye and say, “Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas, you ho!

familyMicrofictionHumorHoliday
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About the Creator

Cathy holmes

Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  2. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (41)

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  • JBaz3 months ago

    Congratulations on placing in the contest. this was hilarious and visual

  • Oh dear... what a rat & rotten sister to match!

  • Andrea Corwin 3 months ago

    “Merry Christmas, you ho!” HAHAHA good line!!

  • 😲 Honestly, I thought you showed tremendous restraint. They had it coming! Great story!

  • Karissa E.L. Cuff3 months ago

    this is so entertaining and humorous, i really enjoyed it!

  • Heather Hubler3 months ago

    Oh damn! This was hilarious, sad, embarrassing and just fantastic! Great work, my friend. Congrats on Top Story :)

  • Caroline Jane3 months ago

    🤣🤣🤣🤣 merry Christmas you ho! HA I want that to be my seasons greetings message this year!! Great story.

  • KJ Aartila3 months ago

    LoL! It should definitely not have occurred in private! Excellent!

  • Rachel Deeming3 months ago

    Cathy, this made me laugh. Your stuff can be so irreverent that it shocks me but also makes me smile naughtily. Ho ho ho to the ho! Just great.

  • Sara Frederick3 months ago

    Love it. It feels so real and relatable - and funny.

  • Yayyyyy you got a Top Story! Merry Christmas! Sorry I mean congratulations!

  • Melissa Ingoldsby3 months ago

    Dang you hit all the right and naughty notes here!! Congratulations 🎉 on top story

  • Tiffany Gordon 3 months ago

    LOL! Gurl you rocked this! Go Cathy Go! 😍

  • Real Poetic3 months ago

    Congratulations!! 🎉

  • J. S. Wade3 months ago

    This is absolutely fantastic, brutal truth and funny as hell… and pure Cathy!! 😜🤣😎

  • Donna Renee3 months ago

    Congrats on the top story!! 😁😁 this one was so good 🫣🤣

  • Leslie Writes3 months ago

    Christmas is ruined! LOL Poor thing. Great micro.

  • Lamar Wiggins3 months ago

    Sometimes the drama is also entertainment, for the readers at least. Well done and Congrats!!!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)3 months ago

    Cathy this was phenomenal!! I love the drama and intensity you've packed into such a small piece! Great work and congrats on Top Story!!

  • Xine Segalas3 months ago

    Wow - that's quite a Christmas memory!

  • Novel Allen3 months ago

    This is such a very bad Xmas story Cathy, OMG, what a Christmas they all must have had. I need to know more, dish it all up. Nothing better than some good ol xmas gossip, Congrats on TS.

  • Salman siddique3 months ago

    hahahaha christmas aren't supposed to be romantic

  • Dana Crandell3 months ago

    I do love your attitude! Jeez, this should be an episode of All My Children, or Days of Our Lives, or whatever soaps the young people watch these days. (Not that I ever watched any of those, of course.) Congratulations on Top Story, you miscreant!

  • Gerald Holmes3 months ago

    Lol! Now that is a real Christmas story!

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