A Disappointing Day

Louise's mum was the Mistress of Understatement.

Her day had started dismally with overdone toast. The smell was so acrid that she opened the window and sprayed Febreze to get rid of the charcoal smell.

Returning the Febreze to the utility cupboard, she had misplaced her foot and accidentally overturned the cat's litter tray which was due a change. All very unfortunate.

Having scraped the black upper coating off her breakfast, leaving the bin with a crust all of its own, drifting down to sprinkle the kitchen's white tiles, she proceeded to butter her toast in an attempt to make it palatable. Transferring it from the counter to the breakfast bar, her hand slipped a little on the plate, causing it to tip, and the toast to fall on the floor, face down.

Sighing, she decided to get something on the way to work.

At the drive-through, the intercom was not working properly. A latte turned into black tea and her blueberry muffin into an English muffin with bacon, which for a vegetarian was a difficult eat. She always had an emergency apple in her bag and took a big bite whilst driving, not noticing the bruise and the softness of fruit turning from ripe to rotting until it hit her taste buds.

She doggedly ate the best bits, not wanting her stomach to rumble in the important office reshuffle meeting where she was expecting to be offered a higher role.

Breakfast was catered and she grabbed a croissant before the meeting (bonus!), unaware of the shower of crumbs nestling on her chest nor the errant flake determinedly clinging to her chin, until a bathroom break afterwards.

A pen burst. She tripped on the stairs with people watching. Her car door had a "dink".

Later, she received a text from Jeff, ending it.

No tears would come. She was exhausted. She decided to call her mum.

"Hello, darling. How are you?"

The list of disasters flooded out.

In a truly British response, her mum replied:

"Oh dear. That does sound like a disappointing day."

And just like that, Louise burst out laughing, the tensions of the day exploded with the pinprick of her mother's dogged understatement.

***

366 words

There is something to be said for British understatement, that "Stay Calm and Carry On" spirit. A great leveller, maybe? I don't know but I do find that I indulge in it too. Sort of like "If I don't acknowledge the drama of the situation, it can't get to me." This may or may not be healthy, all things considered but it works for some people.

And you know, you have to laugh, don't you? In the face of it all?

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