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more than just lines on a map

By Brenton FPublished about a month ago 1 min read
Top Story - June 2024
Photo by Jan Zikán on Unsplash

my illness keeps me thin

tap water keeps me docile

i don’t get horny anymore

and nowhere near as hostile

i can't eat what i want anymore

is that a penance or a blessing

the cause of this, i’m not exactly sure

just speculative home brand second guessing

i can't sit still for long anymore

i tremble i twitch and i shake

the past the now the future

the real the imagined the fake

i don't sleep real good anymore

my bladder and i are at war

i'm not sure who is actually winning

cause my pancreas forgot to keep score

i don’t know if i'm coming or going anymore

i'm concerned yes but not yet alarmed

i do enjoy these breaks from reality

in a shell protected unharmed


About the Creator

Brenton F

I find it easier to bare ones soul than it is to provide a less than adequate bio

It's just a token of my extreme - Frank Zappa

- - -

I have an eBook, a collection of my favourite pieces

Link to Amazon

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Comments (13)

  • Dr. Jason Benskin26 days ago

    Congratulations on having your story featured as a top story on Vocal! This is a remarkable achievement, and it's clear why your work has received such recognition. Your storytelling is truly exceptional. The narrative was not only compelling but also beautifully crafted, holding my attention from start to finish. The way you developed the characters and plot was masterful, making the story both engaging and thought-provoking. Your unique voice and perspective shine through, setting your work apart. It’s evident that you poured a lot of passion and effort into this piece, and it has certainly paid off. I look forward to reading more of your incredible stories in the future. Keep up the fantastic work! Best regards, Dr. Jay

  • Sasi Kalaabout a month ago

    congrats Top Story! nice..

  • Lana V Lynxabout a month ago

    It’s so well written I could feel your pain. It’s tough but I hope it’s nothing untreatable.

  • Hannah Mooreabout a month ago

    Oh I feel the echoes of this. Sorry.

  • Margaret Brennanabout a month ago

    first, congrats on TS. Now ... to be able to put into words, your emotions, your pain, and bewilderment, is genius. Brilliantly done. Hope you feel better soon but either way, please keep on writing. It's fantastic.

  • Rick Henry Christopher about a month ago

    Such an interesting poem with some thought-provoking lines. The one that openedy eyes was "my bladder and i are at war." I had that issue going on back in 2018 and 2019. It was affecting my sleep. It ends up I had prostate cancer. We caught it early and I am fine now. It may be a good idea to have it checked out. Early detection is key. Congratulations on your top story. I have subscribed to you so I can see more of your work.

  • Melissa Ingoldsbyabout a month ago

    Oh this is painful 😣 I feel this too much I am sorry for your pain . Your craft here is exceptional

  • Ameer Bibiabout a month ago

    Very well crafted Congratulations on TS

  • Cathy holmesabout a month ago

    This is really well done. Congrats on the TS.

  • Kendall Defoe about a month ago

    Great poem; great Supertramp track (they seem to be perfect at any age, but especially now).

  • Silver Serpent Booksabout a month ago

    Every single one of these lines is more powerful than the last. "just speculative home brand second guessing" is such a perfect way to describe that situation. Great poem!

  • Dr. Jason Benskinabout a month ago

    Your candid exploration of the physical and emotional struggles, combined with vivid imagery, creates a powerful narrative that resonates with readers on a profound level. Thank you for sharing such a personal and compelling piece that offers a glimpse into your experience.

Brenton FWritten by Brenton F

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