The Movie-Length Gin

So, you might have already guessed by now — I love a good gin. I’ve also been talking about self-care a lot lately, so I thought I would share my favourite self-care routine with you. Let’s set the scene: it’s Friday night, you’ve just put your toddler to bed after a long afternoon of finger painting the walls and repeatedly pulling the cat’s tail. All you want to do is retreat to a dark room and say nothing for hours.

If you’re going to be in a dark room for hours, you’ll get thirsty, so you need to take a drink. My drink of choice is gin. I started drinking gin a couple of years ago and I think I like it because, when it’s made well, it doesn’t taste like alcohol. Now, I look forward to my Friday-night gin at the end of a busy week…sometimes I’ll also have my Friday gin on a Monday or a Tuesday, depending on how my week is going.

At our house, I’m usually sneakily preparing this drink in the background while my husband is giving our son his evening bottle. This works perfectly for us because as soon as he’s in bed, the drinks are ready to go! The hard part is deciding which movie to watch. I usually want to watch whatever budget horror movie I’ve heard about that week, but my husband has slightly better taste.

The Movie-Length Gin

Ingredients

• 2 shots of whatever gin is closest to you

• 2 thin slices of cucumber — check your floor, you might find some your toddler threw away while eating dinner

• 2 thin slices of apple — yes, if you eat the apple when done, you can count it as a serve of fruit for the day

• 2 large ice cubes…if you remembered to refill the ice cube tray

• 375 ml of tonic water — quickly Googles “does tonic water in gin count towards my daily water intake?”

Method

1. Throw your ice cubes in a glass. This drink is best served in a gin glass, but let’s be serious, whatever receptacle you have clean will do. I like to use my Daily Intake water bottle I bought from Kmart, back when I was pretending to drink enough water each day!

2. Go looking for a shot glass, realise you don’t have one, and free-pour what you think two shots of gin would look like.

3. After you thinly slice the apple and cucumber, it should be muddled, but a few whacks with your child's toy hammer will work just as well. Place it in your drinking receptacle once it’s whacked to your liking.

4. Pour 375 ml (or however much you think you’ll need to get you to the end of the movie) of tonic water over the top.

5. Stir with a cocktail stirrer…just kidding, use your finger!

6. Add your movie of choice.

7. Sit back, sip, and enjoy for several hours. Strict orders to only get up if you need to pee.

8. When the movie is finished, just leave your drinking receptacle on the kitchen bench — you can deal with it in the morning.

Serving suggestions

Pairs well with a giant bag of corn chips and your favourite recliner. For maximum satisfaction, drink while wearing your comfortable clothes. I like to wear my old maternity pants which are now way too big and baggy. My husband wears his Ibiza singlet that’s more than 10 years old and full of holes. I won’t let him wear it out in public anymore, but he can’t let go of it because it reminds him of our carefree days.

Bonus points: Can you can finish the movie in one sitting without falling asleep?