The Anatomy of a Perfect Sandwich

We all know the familiar sound of our stomachs throwing a hissy fit. Somewhere between breakfast and lunch, it starts—hunger pangs, those painful cries in the pit of your stomach take over your brain and all you can think about is food.

It’s like your brain is being held at gunpoint by your stomach, demanding it to be fed immediately. You try to ignore the knot twisting deep within the corridors of your gut and continue working for as long as you can stand the pain. You feel the sugar level in your blood drop as a cold sweat starts to take control of your skin and the color in your face begins to fade. You can no longer hold on to the pen you’ve been writing with, as your sweaty hands lose their grip. Your brain gives in to the your stomach's demands and you make your way into the kitchen to prepare your lunch.

Your stomach is not to be toyed with, you are to do exactly as instructed unless you want to deal with the repercussions of an upset stomach. You get a flashback from the horrors of yesterday’s morning coffee when you decided to add milk to your coffee, your stomach objected but you kept pouring. That bloat, those cramps and distended stomach the size of Noah’s arc.... hours spent on the toilet with zero relief—it was torture. The punishment may have been far worse than the crime, although your stomach begs to differ. Either way, you swore you would never disobey your stomachs orders again, for as long as you shall live. You oblige, and begin carrying out your stomachs orders. Operation perfect sandwich has begun.

1. Bread

When choosing the bread for your sandwich, it is important to remember that bread becomes stale when exposed to air and no body likes a stale sandwich. It’s hard to chew and gets messy or even worse, falls apart before even reaching your stomach. But if the bread is too soft and fluffy it runs the risk of becoming too soggy. Everybody knows a mushy sandwich makes a gross sandwich. So it all depends on the core of your sandwich. Will it be something heavy like pulled chicken? Heavier sandwiches require a thicker bread to keep the sandwich together, something like a kaiser roll. Are you going to be eating the sandwich open faced like a tartine? Perhaps you may consider a baguette in that case. The stomach has ordered a challah roll for today’s perfectly crafted sand which, with specific toasting instructions to be followed.

2. Avocado

What’s a perfect sandwich without some good old avocado smeared on both pieces of bread? It’s the perfect addition to any food, especially a sandwich. It also happens to be a nutrient dense superfood thats packed with over 20 vitamins and minerals. And provides us with a good amount of MUFA (monounsaturated fatty acids). The stomach knows what it’s talking about, so don’t forget the avocado unless you want a less than perfect sandwich.

3. Cheese

Add Swiss cheese to your bread before toasting it. The point is for the cheese to melt while simultaneously toasting the bread. Swiss Cheese is a good choice for a challah roll because the salty bitter-like flavor of the cheese is a good balance for the challah rolls sweetness. Other great choices include Provelone and Meunster.

4. Horseradish

The perfect condiment for the perfect sandwich. The horseradish adds just enough spice to everso gently burn your tastebuds and clear your nasal pathway. It’s the perfect amount of zing every sandwich needs to make it perfect.

5. Banana Peppers

Nobody likes a bland sandwich; flavor is a key ingredient to making any sandwich tasty. Banana peppers give your sandwich that kick, making it the perfect blend of ingredients, including sweet, salty, and spicy with the avocado there to act as a buffer, preventing the spicy ness from taking over the taste of the entire sandwich. Add some cilantro to increase the perfection meter even more.

6. Smoked Turkey Breast

This will be the core ingredient of your sandwich. Make sure your slices are thinly cut and placed along the entire length of your sandwich, with enough slices for both pieces of bread. Not enough turkey will ruin the sandwich and your stomach will not be pleased. Too much and it will drown out all the other flavors in a thanksgiving sort of way, except one where you're not thankful it happened.

7. Lettuce

The lettuce is an ingredient used for several reasons. Firstly, the texture of lettuce is a great way to add some crunch into a chewy sandwich and also gives it some moisture making it easier to swallow. Secondly, it acts as a net to hold in the ingredients cut into finer pieces, such as the banana peppers and cilantro. It also secures the avocado to the bread.

8. Tomatoes

Rarely do I find a reason to include tomatoes in a salad, let’s face it—in a salad tomatoes act as a garnish. But in sandwiches they make all the difference. The juicy, sweet and salty buttery flavor of the perfectly ripened tomato makes any sandwich the perfect sand which. Slice enough tomato to cover the length of the bread and do not overlap slices unless you want the sandwich to get messy when eaten.

9. Dill Pickles

No sandwich is complete without the crunchy texture of a dill pickle. The salty garlic infused flavor of the pickle adds the perfect amount of moisture to help chew the contents of the perfect sandwich and leaves your tongue feeling tingly yet completely satisfied.

These are all the things you need to build the perfect sand which your stomach has demanded for lunch. Cut in half and enjoy. Your stomach will soon fall into a good coma, giving your brain the chance to escape bringing an end to the hostage situation preceding lunchtime.