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Perfect Porridge - Microwave Style

Summoning Up The Taste Of Scotland

By Niall James BradleyPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
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Perfect Porridge - Microwave Style
Photo by Sorin Tudorut on Unsplash

There are many distinctive tastes that trigger memories of Scotland. For many it will be Scotch whiskey, with each individual malt evoking a specific Highland stream or Scottish isle. For others, with a yearning for the outdoors and campfire cooking, there is the rich, smoky piece of heaven that is the kipper: ideally for breakfast on toast, crowned with a poached egg. Or maybe, for those with a sweet tooth, a box of shortbread biscuits or even a slab of 'tablet'.

However, for me, Scotland is summoned up simply by the creation of a bowl of porridge. Oats have long been a staple source of carbohydrates for the Scottish population. They are one of the few cereal crops that can thrive in the challenging Scottish climate. Oats are so synonymous with Scotland that they have made their way into the literature (it fuelled the sprint across Scotland of David Balfour and Alan Breck Stewart in Robert Louis Stevenson's Kidnapped) and it has even found it's way into the fabled haggis!

Making The Perfect Porridge - In A Microwave

I am fully aware that there will be some purists who are currently shouting, "No!" at the computer. For them, porridge must always be cooked slowly, over heat, in a pan. To those people I will just have to say, look away now. However, I am aware that there are a large number of people who make porridge by buying it in manufactured sachets, add milk and then stick it in the microwave. Those are the people I am talking to. Beneath is a method, slightly longer and a little more involved, which will produce porridge 'almost' as good as porridge made in a pan but without the need to wash up a pan and wooden spoon afterwards.

1. Know Your Oats

Step 1: Oats into the bowl (this is 5 dessert spoons)

I prefer rolled oats but really, any oats will do. I find the 'cheaper' oats tend to be more powdery which tend to make a more creamy porridge. More 'expensive' oats tend to be whole and require more softening. Experiment, find the oats that are the ones for you! And should be cheap and easy to experiment because oats are cheap. Oats are a working man's food, they are supposed to be cheap and filling. They should never be expensive: the choice in the shop should be between cheap or not quite so cheap.

Place you oats in the bowl, how many is up to you. My wife likes 3 dessert spoons full, I am more 6 dessert spoons (the spoon is in the picture, for reference). For this article, we have compromised on 5 spoons full. But all the following steps are the same, however many oats you use.

2. Add Water

Let's get the controversial step out of the way early. Traditionalists, those wanting to beat me to death with their pans earlier for mentioning a microwave, will be nodding approvingly at this point. Modernists will be saying, "No, you add milk." If you are a modernist, there is an opportunity to add milk later, so don't worry, just go with me on this step.

Add water to just above the level of the oats.

As it says in the caption above, add water so that the water just covers the oats and they are barely submerged. Do not stand there looking at them (or they won't absorb the water). Go off and do something else for 2 or 3 minutes. Don't worry if you get into something and leave them for longer: you want the oats to absorb as much of the water as possible. You'll know they are ready when you either have no water left or the water has turned a light yellow and a little cloudy.

Water has gone light yellow and a little cloudy.

3. Add milk (or more water)

I'm sure the modernists spotted the milk in the picture above. It is at this point that you can add milk (in the picture is 2 tablespoons). Traditionalists can add some extra water and vegans whichever is their milk of choice (though oatmilk is just adding more of the same). At this point, you may also wish to experiment with adding either a pick of salt, a sprinkle of sugar or a spoonful of honey. I add my sugar (in the form of jam) at the end of the process, but that is personal preference. You can go the whole authentic Scottish experience and source Scottish sea salt from Loch Carron, Scottish beet sugar or Highland heather honey but I'm sure your local varieties of each ingredient are just as good. Whichever you add, make sure they are thoroughly mixed in.

4. To The Microwave

Traditionalists, look away now. Modernists, this is not a 'Whack it on for a minute and leave it until it goes ping' recipe: I need you to concentrate just a little harder for the next minute or so.

Put your bowl in the microwave and turn it on full power for 30 seconds. When it is finished, take the bowl out. It will look exactly the same but will be just warming a little. Take your spoon and give the contents a thorough stir. Put the bowl back into the microwave for another 20 seconds. If you lick the spoon, you will find the liquid still tastes very watery. That is normal.

The liquid is still very watery. This is normal

After 20 seconds have elapsed, take the bowl out an stir it again. Put it back in the microwave for another 10 seconds. This time, when you lick the spoon, you will notice that the liquid is far more creamy.

Those 10 more seconds and the job is done: at least, it is for my wife. This is a very soupy porridge with plenty of liquid. Her taste, not mine. I prefer it far thicker than this so will keep going.

Porridge soup with plenty of liquid.

From this point, the porridge will change from soup to concrete very quickly. This is the point of the process where the traditionalists would be constantly stirring the pan of porridge and watching the contents like a hawk, ready to remove the pan from the heat just before it is the perfect consistency (then let the residue heat in the pan complete the process). In the microwave, we are just going to keep putting the porridge in for another 10 seconds, then take it out and stir. If it is still not thick enough, then give it another 10 seconds. I like my porridge to have enough integrity that I can begin to build mountain with it (Scottish mountain, of course). For me, it usually takes around 1 minute and 20 seconds.

Porridge you can build into mountains (but still a hint of liquid)

5. All the trimmings

I'm sure some of you noticed the jam I have now added. I did mention earlier that I add my sugar at the end of the process in the form of jam. This is, of course, raspberry jam, as raspberries grow wild all over Scotland, but strawberries are also authentic as they grow happily in Scotland too. If you want to go fully authentic, try sourcing some bilberries, a smaller European cousin of the blueberry, which grow on low-lying bushes across the moors of Scotland. Whichever you choose, make sure you ignore your mother's protests and mix it in until evenly distributed.

Thoroughly mixed, pink porridge.

6. Eat and enjoy

Hope you have enjoyed this slice of Scotland and it makes you want to explore further Scottish food. I would begin with tucking into a good stottie; move on, maybe, to some cullen stink and then, one day, you may find yourself desperately in need of exploring the taste and texture of an 'Arbroath Smokie'. Do enjoy your dive into Scottish cuisine but whatever you do, stay away from the 'deep-fried Mars bars'!

healthy
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About the Creator

Niall James Bradley

I am a teacher who lives in the north west of England. I write about many subjects, but mainly I write non-fiction about things that interest me, fiction about what comes into my head and poetry about how I feel.

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