Pandemic & Snoop Dogg’s 19 Crimes

It all started yesterday while zooming through the supermarket. On an end-cap tucked between deli cheese, packaged pasta, ready to go sushi and rib-eye steaks was a familiar face. It was the face of Rap Royalty’s King of the West Si-eeed Snoop D—O Double G’s cold stare piercing the crowd. And above his head 19 Crimes.

Wait. Am I seeing this right?

Okay, backstory. I’m a Wine Snob. No Two-Buck Chuck and nothing you can grab from the drug store for five dollars will do. My palette is a discerning one and only the finest wines shall touch these lips.

Before I knew it, my basket parked itself next to the end cap and I examined the bottle.

Yup. 19 Crimes—which I’d had previously but was not overly impressed—was now under my scrutiny. The bottle read Cali Red so I took a chance. If Snoop (my fellow Los Angelino) is endorsing it, I said to myself, I’ll give it a try.

With Persevere (feat. Snoop Dogg) playing in my head, I two-stepped all the way to the cashier. Our Son Camden hipped me to Snoop Dogg’s appearance on Robert Glasper’s Experiment album and I had a brand new appreciation for the Rap Legend. Soon after I found out that Marvin Gaye sound-alike October London (Color Blind) was discovered and produced by Snoop Dogg and I was hooked. I simply had to taste his wine.

I got it home, uncorked it, poured it and sent it through this wine snob’s paces.

The smell of Snoop Dogg’s Cali Red Petite Syrah is stunning and lightly smoky, earthy and warming. It swirls richly—almost ruby like—in a tall wine stem. Snoop Dogg’s Cali Red is a mildly sweet aromatic mouthful and utterly delights from sip one.

After my second glass, I reminded myself to save some for The One (my husband Tyrone).

Upon his arrival he spied the bottle on the kitchen counter m, smiled and said“Whaaaat? The homie Snoop is endorsing 19 Crimes?”

“Yup,” I told him and poured him a glass. The One—who is not a fan of red wine—enjoyed Snoop’s Cali Red so much, he insisted we return to the supermarket the next day to buy more.

Saturday morning surrounded us. We kissed good morning, laughed, chatted, sipped coffee lazily and agreed we’d go back to the supermarket. We washed our cars, made lunch plans with friends for later in the day. Our neighbor came over and yammered on for about 40 minutes. Snoop’s 19 Crimes beckoned me knowing there were only four bottles left on display! Finally at 2:30 we found ourselves at the supermarket. I 1-handed a shopping basket and angled through the crowd at the produce section, the coffee aisle and passed the cereal. Just up ahead, at the same end-cap our shoulders slumped. There was only one bottle left!

“I knew we should’ve gotten here earlier,” I said disappointed but reaching for the last bottle.

“Maybe there’s more on the wine aisle.”

“Naaa, I looked yesterday.”

“Forget that,” said The One taking the single bottle from my hand and hoisting an entire case of the Snoop Dogg’s Cali Red into our basket.

Wonder of wonders! The cases created the end-cap. There was a price poster covering the supporting cases.

We wheeled our one item to the cashier and put the case of 12 bottles on the conveyor belt. Our cashier Joan was a slight little thing and she struggled with the 30lb. case.

“Okay,” she said “that’ll be $11.78.”

“Hold on,” said The One. “That’s not right. There are 12 bottles in the case.”

“Oh?” said Joan. There was a long pause as she motioned to me to insert my card to complete the transaction and essentially commit a crime!

I lingered; my eyes darting from the screen, Joan and case of wine. I pinched my bank card. “Can you just ring it up times twelve?” I asked.

“I already rang it up as one,” Joan told us explaining it was her first day as a cashier and she only now realized this was a case of wine and not a single item. “I’ll have to call my manager to back the sale out.”

So we waited for the manager making small talk with Joan as the line stretched into the aisle and we and Snoop Dogg became everybody’s focus.

Adrienne came to Joan’s rescue and when she saw the case, her face lit up. “Oh my goodness! This wine is so good.”

“I know right?”

“Right,” said Adrienne. “Have you checked out the app? It offers really cool quotes.”

“Well, we will now,” we said with a laugh.

With our bounty legally in possession, this random shopper stops us to ask, “hey is that Snoop’s wine? For real? Is it good?”

“Oh yeah, man,” The One told him. “You’ll really enjoy it.”

A few minutes later and after we tucked our precious cargo into the trunk, we smiled. “Wow,” I said to The One, “Joan was pushing us out the door. We could’ve gotten away with it.”

“Yeah, but that’s not who we are.”

“I know. You’re right. But even better, wouldn’t it be nice to have a glass of Cali Red with Snoop?”

“Yeah,” said The One nodding slowly. “That would be awesome.”

Pandemic & Snoop Dogg’s 19 Crimea Cali Red (c) Valorie M. Taylor September, 2020. All Rights Reserved.