Crackers, Caffeine, Cattle, Chickens, Cabernet, and Chocolate; The Ultimate C Diet

I'm starting to eat foods that begin with a C or fall into a C category. I call it my C Diet.

There are a lot of foods that begin with C, not so much D, F, E, or T.

The lonely C became known in school as the grade of mediocrity. You could pass comfortably with a C average but are typically limited in the ability to excel academically. I say let's elevate the C to a higher standard giving it more credit.

C is the only letter leading the alphabet with the most food or food groups. Interestingly enough, the Guinness Book of World Records does not acknowledge this fact.

Here is a tribute to the Culinary use of the letter C.

At first, I started working with the six most common culinary words beginning with C:

1. Caffeine
2. Carbs
3. Cattle
4. Chicken
5. Cabernet
6. Chocolate

There is a wide variety of dishes that people create with these six categories. But when I gave the topic more serious thought, my brain kicked into high gear.

Ideas started flowing with food like corn, Cheetos, cheeses, cabbage, and cereal. Then there's challah for bread, coconuts, carrots, cream, and chiffon pie. Even seafood has its C's, with codfish, catfish, crawfish, crabs and calamari. Croissants, crackers, cottage cheese, and cookies fill in the gaps.

There are plenty of foods available, starting with the letter C allowing one to be creative with various things to eat.

The list goes on with cashews, candy, crumpets, and collards. Even pasta intersects with C, as in Cavatappi, Canneloni, and many more. And let's not forget the creme de la creme of gourmet dining: Champagne, and Caviar.

My Doctor asked me what I typically ate in one day, and I told her all about my C Diet and how it added a sense of adventure to eating.

She fell over laughing.

That was a fun appointment. I'm sitting in my boxers on a cold hard exam table covered in freezer paper, half-naked with a female Doctor and her nurse, both of which are half my age. And they are laughing. At first glance, one would think all professional courtesy and respect are being ignored, but that was not the case.

I've had a 10-year challenge inspired by Jerry Seinfeld to get a Doctor to laugh. After all, when's the last time you cracked a joke and got your Doctor to smile?

I asked the good Doctor to name a food that began with F, and all I got for an answer was nothing. Feeling bad, I gave her another chance by trying N, T, and E. She eventually came up with tomatoes, tacos, and tortillas but then conceded, telling me her mind went blank.

She quickly understood my concept and had to agree it wasn't a bad idea, as long as I threw in some exercise, moderated my caffeine, cocktails, and cigars.

I'm not claiming that my C diet will help anyone lose weight or reverse diabetes. It's just a creative way to approach the complex world of nutrition and food.

There's not a food website out there that's broached the subject for alphabet-driven foodies. Maybe I'll create one. By the way, it was C-Rations that fed the troops in World War II and Korea.

Here are a few meal examples:

The combinations and variety of C Foods are abundant. It doesn't take a Chef to be a Creative Cook with C Foods; anybody can try it.

I'm just a guy with a twisted imagination inspired to write this story. I was motivated by a Cold Classic Cocktail - aka Martini made with Chopin Vodka.

Thanks for reading. I'm signing off to pick up some Calzones and Cheese pizzas for the grandkids.