Breakfast Glory

In a time when opinions can be polarizing, we need to come together where it matters, obscure breakfast preferences. Cold syrup belongs on hot pancakes. Cold syrup is the best thing to happen to pancakes since chocolate chips. It’s the most underrated breakfast delight. Breakfast should arouse multiple sensations with a delicate balance of flavors, textures, and temperatures. Cold syrup on hot pancakes accomplishes this. It confuses the senses and awakens the taste buds. It’s pure breakfast excellence that has been ignored far too long.

Firstly, the hot-cold dynamic is legendary alchemy. It’s culinary divinity. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence to back that up. Look at the popularity of some more famous hot and cold clashes such as cold sour cream on a hot potato; warm brownies with ice cream; or the all-American favorite, French fries dipped in Frosty. Cold syrup on hot pancakes deserves a place among those greats for its exceptional mashup of heat and chill.

Warm syrup gets all the breakfast glory. To many, it’s considered a treat. IHOP will warm any syrup for you if you ask. Even my grandma would smile broadly when she walked toward the table carrying a carafe of syrup just off the stovetop. Google has a preference. A quick search for “warm syrup” will yield innumerable recipe results containing every flavor combination desirable. If you wanted brown sugar, they have it. Vanilla Bourbon fans can find something new in one click. Are you looking for warm Maple syrup in twenty ways? I am sure you can find it easily. However, anyone with a cold-hot hankering that tries “cold syrup,” will only find opportunities to be redirected to WebMD or Amazon. Even “cold pancake syrup” only yielded posts of people asking if anyone even likes cold syrup. (Those of us that do like cold syrup are a small, but proud fringe.)

Warm syrup lovers must enjoy the pockets of sugar lava that pop up unexpectedly. Personally, the surprise hot spots do not spark joy. They spark alarm. I’m reminded of what it meant when swimming through a warm spot in the pool. Not a pleasant association. Pool water and syrup are best enjoyed cold. Syrup doesn’t need to be warmed. It’s unnecessary redundancy. If your pancakes are not warm enough on their own merit, get better pancakes, don’t punish the syrup.

Syrup should be cold and unassuming. It should mix playfully with bites of hot, fluffy pancake in a swirling dance. Genuine maple syrup cannot accomplish this. It’s too thick. It turns pancakes into an unswallowable concrete paste just waiting to choke the life out of me. I’ve used less adhesives caulks in my bathroom.

Syrup should be skim, not %1, not whole. And not maple. It’s like if taffy came in bark. The overpowering flavor suppresses any chance of tasting the pancake. Canada has fooled an empire and built its entire legacy on maple syrup. You can’t even cross the border to visit Canada without pledging your allegiance to maple syrup and the Queen. No disrespect to the crown, but I would dump maple syrup in the harbor before I would put it on my pancakes.

The best syrup is one that is cold and runny in original or butter flavor. The refrigeration causes the syrup to slow down just enough that it rolls over the pancake and delights the tongue in a fun game of peek a boo. It’s really art in the age of saccharine. Hot maple syrup is old, white dudes in government. It’s been done. Culinary glory belongs to foods that are delicately balanced. A good breakfast should still linger in your thoughts well past lunchtime. Cold syrup on hot pancakes is breakfast perfection.

Cold syrup on pancakes is the best. 5 out of 5 stars would apply to French toast and waffles also.