A Juicy Steak &... Peppermint Chocolate!?!
Don't Knock it till You Try it. Trust me.
Nothing makes me happier than a nice juicy steak, seasoned to perfection. A delicacy that should only be cooked medium rare, but that’s neither here nor there, or maybe it is. Either way you slice it... it should never be sliced well done, you freaking lunatics. Observe perfection below.
Point is that, steak will make anyone’s day when done right. Today was a day when I had done it more than right. All that was left was to add some steaming vegetables and pour some fine wine and enjoy my lovely work on my microwave safe plate.
Though, in the corner of my eye, I spy some sweet Christmas cheer. A open pack of peppermint Hershey’s kisses (Not sponsored by the way). Some even unwrapped.
Who would do such a thing?
Leave a bag of goodies out like this to go stale, it was a sad thing to see. It was almost enough to make me cry.
I couldn't just leave them there, for time to take it’s toll on something that doesn’t deserve it. So I did what needed to be done. I gave them suckers a chance to be something more.
I checked around my steak and found the perfect fatty piece to be part of my little experiment. I took one kiss and brought it to my lips, biting just the tip, just because I'm a weirdo. Then I laid it on my choice cut, and then I took a step back and took in me creation.
What a strange thing to witness. I’ve seen peppermint cookies before but never has it ever crossed my mind to make peppermint steak. I laughed like a mad scientist, thinking about what my wife would say.
Maybe she would laugh along with me, or just straight up call me insane. Whatever reaction she would have, I would just laugh again even harder, just to make her second guess our marriage.
With my thoughts of future possibilities over with, I was ready to take this bite into the unknown.
I reached for my fork and drove it into the peppermint filled chocolate first to bond it to the juicy meat under it. When I lifted my 70's style neon blue fork, the sight looked like a Hannibal Christmas decoration, I felt even more like a mad man.
I brought it closer to my mouth, laughing all the way. Finally, I pulled the meat and sweet treat off the utensil, it was like pulling a pencil out of a thick eraser.
Then I started to chew, and by golly, nothing in my 22 years of living on this earth can compare.
Two worlds... that I know my wife wants me to keep apart, had a Christmas time slow dance in my month.
First was the succulent taste of tender beef massaging against my tongue. Like a fine cigar that puts your mind at ease.
Then all of a sudden, a sharp burst of peppermint comes out to grab me by the hand and forces me to get on the dance floor with her.
The smooth creaminess of the white chocolate was like Michael Bublé singing “Have Yourself a Merry little Christmas” while your dancing a Christmas Eve night away with the love of your life.
What a dance to experience. Then... it was over all to soon. Every last bit of it melted away ever so... so softly and quietly. Mixed with the Smoke filled room and the tenderness of her grasp on me, it was like nothing I have ever experienced before.
Though, instead of letting this beautiful steak and pack of Christmas kisses slip through my fingers to go off into the snowy night...
I took her tender juicy hand... looked straight into her creamy peppermint eyes... and I told her...
“All I need to be able to die a happy man is to have all of you to myself tonight... nothing in this world would be better."
She blushed... I smiled back... then and I ate her.
Ok. I had some fun with this one.
Long story short.
I had a steak, saw some peppermint chocolate, I put them together and it was the best thing ever.
Do I get bonus points for rhyming at the end there?