Zen Jem 1

I grew up Catholic, went to mass and Catholic school, saw the statues of saints and even was given a patron saint when I was confirmed. I don't even remember who. I haven't been Catholic in 34 years, but last year, I found out that practice was a form of ancestor veneration. It was an African practice changed so much as to be almost unrecognizable. Interesting.

Two parents made you, made me Four parents made our parents. And on and on.

Right now, see yourself in your mind's eye as a vessel, hollow, space below your skin from your head to your toes. Now picture that space filling with all the gifts your ancestors gave you. Science says if you just go back 10 generations, that's 1024 ancestors.

Below are some of my ancestors. I know two things about my enslaved great great grandmother Jane Higginbotham. She survived, and she was literate. She gave those traits to me. My grandmother loved nature, music, and good food. My grandfather was an entrepreneur, a soldier and a mechanic. My father - a singer and artist, a super hard worker. My mom was a hustler, full of ideas constantly networking. Those are just a few of their gifts to me- literacy, independence, confidence, people skills, determination, drive.

What I realized recently is I, we, have a savings account full of deposits. It's in our DNA. In our subconscious. We are so much more than we think we are.

I remember training as an athlete and my coach telling me there's always one more rep than you feel you can do because you have a reserve of energy, a reservoir, a second wind. She said if I just push through the initial resistance, I can tap into it.

There are times in this past year I've had to tap into my ancestral reservoir. I've had to sit in silence, realizing I had nothing more (on the surface). I was overwhelmed, hurt, sad, scared. And then I closed my eyes and remembered. I was not alone. My mother, father, grandparents, great grands were with me. I heard their words of encouragement in my mind (memory). I pictured them getting through difficulties. And I knew since they had passed on, they had bequeathed all that they no longer needed to me. They had given me a reserve, a reservoir, a second wind.

I arose, strengthened. Fortified. Encouraged. Knowing their presence and love was as real as the blood flowing through my veins. Knowing they were always with me. Their gifts always available. And I felt awe and gratitude for my creator that it was so.

Journal- write down what's in your ancestral bank account. Keep it somewhere. Add to it.

Share this with anyone you feel it might help. We are our ancestors. They live through us.