You Cannot Attend Everything...

I am going to let you all in on a deep secret that I either hinted or just probably mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, but here it goes. I sadly could not attend my own mother’s funeral. To this very day, it is something that bothers me on so many levels since she was my only mother.

Nas said it best: Your mother’s the closest thing to God that you will ever have kid. Yet, I was not able to attend the funeral due to the following issues:

• Financial trouble

• Falling out with my brother

• Issues with my stepfamily taking over the funeral arrangements

Tall tale signs in general, but nothing measures to the aftermath of what happened during the funeral. It must have been a sign from God with a dream I had where my mother was deliberately telling me that it was okay and that she loved me. My sister sadly did not attend the funeral as well due to the following issues:

• Financial trouble

• Falling out with her father and brother

• Issues with my stepfamily taking over the funeral arrangements

It was almost as if we were both in the same predicament, or it was a save from God to avoid the foolishness that was beyond our control. One evening, my sister called me out of the blue to let me know what happened now of the funeral. Both of our names being at the bottom of the pit despite our love and unconditional care towards our mother, my stepfather (their father) inviting his new woman to the funeral and propose to her before the eyes of God, and the acknowledgement that he was the one that pulled the plug. I almost dropped the phone with sudden relief that our own mother saved us from such a hideous act, We got spared because she knows deep within our hearts that losing her was the worst thing that could ever happen to our world. Now as I sit down to express such a story, I realize that we as a people can not attend every affair because sometimes its not what you are supposed to do.

Funerals bring together families but at the same time provide grudges.

Graduations can deliver the notion that a person made it, but it can also be a closed knit affair.

When my wife graduated in the Doctoral program, it was only her and another student. Families from all over the world gathered to see their babies on the front stage for bachelor’s degrees and so forth, yet the only two that got higher degrees were greeted with a few claps and crickets. Guess who were clapping besides the other family member…that’s right my son and I were ecstatic to see this woman who worked so hard to get on the front stage to received a award for her accomplishments in school. It did not matter how many family members showed up, all that mattered was that we celebrated together as an inner circle.

We as people tend to feel like the world will end if we can’t attend a affair, instead of seeing that it’s a spiritual U turn to avoid potential drama or maybe it’s not the right time to attend such events. Funerals in general are weird to me because the body is cold, and the spirit is gone. That loved one will always be by our side and you cannot change what happened in the past. All you can do for now is lived your own life to the fullest and that goes for many events from sad ones to “exciting” ones.

If you see a detour, do not go the way that is blocked, for you will be stuck with more than just an accident…