Wonder Woman

"I sure do love you", I hear echoing in my memories. My mom had such a soft way of talking. It doesn't matter how stupid you were or how angry she was with you, when the yelling and arguing was done, she would remind me of how loved I was in a tone so soft and caring that you could almost forget why you were mad in the first place.

I come from a large family. I am the fifth of ten kids. Ten. My mother gave birth to ten large, (I was third biggest and I weighed over 10 pounds when I was born) healthy kids. She had a few miscarriages along the way, and almost lost her own life after her last one, but still gave natural birth to ten babies. I cannot put into words how absolutely bonkers I think she is for that. I don't want to give birth to a single child much less 10? Why was she so crazy?!? Her and my Dad just wanted a large family I guess. Crazy. Both of them. She was a saint though. I mean really she had to be. She raised 10 kids mostly on her own. My Dad was in the picture but honestly worked a lot so he wasn't really around a lot. They owned a small hobby farm, and on top of the 10 animals she gave birth too why the hell NOT ad horses, sheep, rabbits, cats, and goats to the mix? I mean sure we at least milked the goats so they were a little useful, but honestly the other animals were just there because we were kids and wanted them. Let me just gently remind you again my Dad was not around a lot which meant it was my Mom's responsibility to keep all of us alive, and also teach us to be responsible enough to keep animals alive as well. She did a better job with us than we did with the animals. She herself had grown up on a farm, so she knew what she was doing and tried to pass that knowledge down to us. Not only that, but she loved gardening. LOVED IT! She truly had some of the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen that weren't tended to by professionals. She had a real eye for beauty, and had such a way to take something old and junky, and add some flowers to it and make it into such a cute and rustic addition to her garden. Every year we would work together to plant a vegetable garden, which we would all work together (mostly her) to keep it watered and weeded so we could eat fresh peas, beans, carrots, and so much more. By the end of the season we would taken everything that was left and canning season was upon us. Tomato soup, pesto, applesauce, and green beans being the favorites. If you haven't tried canning in a small kitchen in a 100 year old house with 10 kids under 18 and want to give it a go, I suggest a bottle of wine before you start the process. We were not an easy bunch of kids to tame. I nearly cut off a finger tip, we got burns and bruises, the bruises of course being from us fighting amongst ourselves.

Ok so lets make a checklist so far, 10 kids, stay at home Mom with Dad working 6-7 days a week, farm animals, gardens, and did I mention she homeschooled us? Yes. That crazy woman was like you know what this isn't challenging enough yet, let's add some jazz to this. Actually no jazz. We never played jazz. Do you know what we did play though? Every single one of us played the violin, most of us starting under the age of 5. I myself started at 3 years old. Have you been around a 3 year old trying to learn to play the violin?! It's not music to my ears. It's just noise. And on top of violin, there was also a couple violas, cellos, pianos and guitars. With that many kids playing musical instruments you could start a small orchestra, you're thinking... well... that's exactly what we did. She played the guitar, and we would play whatever instruments. We would go around to churches, nursing homes, and whoever would listen to a group of kids and play for them. And I must say... we were pretty good. We competed in contests all over the state, with at least a few of us winning every contest we were at. We competed at the Iowa state fair, and made it to national television on a few different occasions. There was a show on the travel channel called "On the road with Jason Davis", I'm not sure how he heard about us, but she was 8 months pregnant with her 8th child when we made our appearance. Honestly she was doing all of this before reality shows about weirdo homeschooled families like ours were getting TV show deals. Looking at you Duggars.

Almost nothing could stop my Mom. She was a crazy, wonderful, and determined woman of strength I've never seen in a superhero. At age 50 she decided it was time for her to join us in racing BMX bikes. She had driven us enough times to the track that was an hour away, multiple times a week, that it was time for her to get her own bike and race. Some of the race mom's were in the 30's and complaining about how much work they had. Shut up! This woman could be your mom, she's got 8 more kids than you do, they're in just as many activities as your little brats are AND she's homeschooling them on top of it all! AND she's not drinking or taking xanax like you are to cope, she's got a smile on her face and she's doing everything she can to still help you and your kids out too on top of everything else she's doing. My Mom could beat up your Mom with one hand and be doing a cross stitch project with the other. My Mom kicked ass.

Every superhero has a nemesis though. I will never ever ever ever say my Mom got beat by cancer. She kicked cancers ass. Destroyed it. Fought back with love, strength and stubbornness... the first time. When she found the lumps she went in right away, and sure enough it was cancer. We went to a cancer treatment hospital in Chicago that she knew about from when her best friend had also been treated there a couple years before. That's a shitty "refer a friend" that no one wants. Especially when that friend had passed away. She fought hard. Chemo, surgeries, all of it. But my sister was getting married and she was determined to be healthy. And she was! The month my sister got married she had been fully recovered! No cancer remaining!.... for about 6 weeks. When cancer comes back it comes back with a vengeance. It's pissed you beat it once already so it calls up all its shitty cancer cell friends and is like hey we just got our asses kicked wanna help a pal out?? Well those nasty cells won round two. Within 6 months we said our goodbyes. Between all of us kids, our spouses, and 18 grandkids we filled her hospital room with noise, music, and love. She went out the way she lived. She was having to take so many pain meds that she hadn't been mentally present in months. Even the good drugs that help really fuck you up. She was no longer able to speak, barely even able to keep her eyes open. But she went out surrounded by love, her favorite people, and the fruits of her labor. Cancer didn't beat her though... we're all going to die that was just her way out. She died happy with her life and proud of her family. She didn't lose, we all lost. We lost our guiding light, or greatest encourager, and our biggest cheerleader.

My Mom supported everyone around her. She was always just a phone call away, and would never say a bad thing about anyone unless she said some kind things about them first. She was a team player, always humble. She was a damn hero and there's not a single day that goes by that I don't think about her. I still hear her voice echoing words of wisdom to guide me through this roller coaster ride of life. She was my Wonder Woman.