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Will I ever sleep again?

My kids try to deprive me of as much sleep as possible

By Muhammad Arifin Published 2 months ago 3 min read

It's 10:42pm and I wake up angry after my kid wakes up, I go into his bedroom and try to calm him down. She was in a half-asleep state, screaming gibberish, and it was difficult to talk to her and calm her down.

My 2 year old has never been a good sleeper so I'm used to it, but I only got 20 minutes of sleep myself, feeling dizzy and trying to wait patiently outside the door, peeking through the crack in the door until I saw her eyes closure.

From the other side of the landing, I heard loud laughter coming from my teenage children’s bedroom. I rushed into her room and found her lying on the bed, staring at her phone. I scolded her that it was already very late and the curfew started at ten o'clock in the evening, and threatened to confiscate her mobile phone if she dared to make any noise. All I got in response was a blank stare, no answer, no apology, nothing.

As I walked back to the landing, the toddler stirred again and I fought back tears. Why is raising children so difficult for me and why don’t they sleep? ! My teenage kids, like any other 14-year-old, are glued to their phones 24/7. I regret giving her TikTok, but peer pressure forced me to. My child decides whether he sleeps or not and nothing I do seems to affect his sleep schedule.

Both of my kids are at extremely difficult developmental stages in their lives where they don't know who they are or what they want, so they take it out on me because I'm their safe place, but I often don't feel like a safe place when I can't control my emotions and I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to help them control their emotions.

I have never had to practice mindfulness so often when they all yell at me and take deep breaths to no avail. The teen explained a complicated situation to her friend that didn't sound like a problem to me, but it was important to her. At her age, friendship is everything and a small quarrel can mean the end of the world.

Meanwhile the toddler screams because first he wants toast, then bread, then toast, but wants it in the blue bowl, which needs to be washed, but then he doesn't want jam Or butter, even if he asked for it repeatedly. Then the teenager will blame you for not listening when the screaming continued!

I guess when you become a mother, you never sleep well. You always get a little nervous when you listen to your phone squealing or beeping. Whether they were in the same room or separated, we were constantly worried about them, and my own mother confirmed this.

I think the point of this article is that raising children is very difficult no matter how old they are. You think you've gotten through one difficult phase, only to face the next one filled with different challenges. I know I'm not alone and I try not to complain because I'm truly grateful and blessed to have my girls. That's me, sometimes I just need some rest and sleep!

Not Instant

Being a mother, I always do gymnastics. From brain exercises, heart exercises and muscle exercises in dealing with various situations, but the mother must look "stay cool" in any condition. Sometimes this tends to bring the mother closer to stress.

It turns out that once you become a mother you need to be able to continuously upgrade yourself. Because being a good and patient mother is not instant.

Very often patience is defeated by thoughts and prejudices, fatigue is often defeated by the behavior of the children and husband who are not as beautiful as expectations


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  • Reza Rega pratama Putra2 months ago

    Thank you for providing a very valuable experience

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