What is Trust?

This was a high school interview/joint writing assignment for wellness, but still inspires me today.

The setting of the interview was typical for my dad, comfortable yet a place of thought. He sat in his rolling armchair, eyes scrolling across his screen, the ceasing of mouse clicks signaling for me to begin the interview.

My father, Rusty, seems to have an answer to every question on the spot; as of he he had a script orchestrated in his head. Because of the person he is, during each question he patiently waited for me to record. Each pause gave me a glimpse into his thought process. Thus, the interview began with a commonly asked question: What is trust? It took him about three seconds to organize his thoughts. He said, "faith that and expectation will be met. For example, your spouse remaining faithful, your brakes working properly, or a sales clerk keeping true to their word." That is the requirements of the phenomenon; trust.

And his fast pace continued: How do you earn such trust? He clicked his mouse once before and averted his eyes from the screen to give a clipped answer. "Consistently following through with your word and consistently meeting expectations. For example, Haley's Comet moving through the sky on schedule." I wrinkled my brow and laughed lightly when I heard his reply—out there just like his personality.

This was an answer I was most curious to hear: How do you know when your trust is true or it's just your mind convincing you? He groaned annoyingly as he answered, "when I no longer have to ask myself, 'Do I trust them? For example, I trust that the mailman will come every day without thinking about it. But, I hope that my politicians will follow through with their promises. Although, it may be a false hope.

I scribbled down his words, my handwriting worsening: How do you re-earn trust? He breathed deeply and said the words with clear conviction. "It's the same answer. Trust consists of consistently meeting expectations and keeping your word." My dad strongly believes there are no other requirements to trust another, his decision firmly set in stone.

My assertion that the next question had a predictable answer: Who decides when trust is met after it's been broken, and given time to heal? He gave up, retread the question from the sheet and then answered, "the person who gives it decides, and the receiver is left to wonder. My dad knew the receiver was ready when that particular person accepted an offer. He knew they were ready when they were given a second chance and were able to follow through.

This was yet another question I thought I knew the answer to: How do you help someone trust again? He contemplated this question deeply in his head before speaking, "by having patience when waiting for the pendulum to swing past, where it had originally began." That's fancy talk for waiting for the person to grow and aid them when needed to start again.

Last but not least, how do you assure someone that you're trustworthy? He spoke while staring me dead in the eyes, "there's two things; one) you have to reevaluate that you're doing everything right; two) there's no way to assure anyone that you're trustworthy.” All you can do is do your best to convey trust.

When I was through I felt I understood the concept of trust a little better, and even tough it was a deep subject my dad ended with a joke; brining a smile to my face. Just like he always does. A classic daddy move.