What I Learned from my Mother

I am the daughter of Mildred Joan Powe. This is my proudest title and one I will never give up.

My Mama was always a Boss Lady. I learned to be fearless from my Mother. Not only that, she taught me how to strike fear in the hearts of some of New York’s finest construction workers and vendors; and my niece and nephews. I’m laughing because it was funny to my Mom that they were afraid of me. In everything, fearless. With anyone, fearless. I was fearless because my Mom wasn’t afraid of any man, only God. She taught me to be fearless.

I just did the scariest thing. I moved from my home state to a whole other state during a pandemic. Taking just my clothes, computers and my desk chair…oh and my sons. Her Spirit must be back with me.

It has not been so in recent years. I lost Momma, our home, and my job within two years. Ripped my heart out and broke me a little. I guess I have to explain where I was for you to understand where I landed.

My Mother taught me to be smart. A smart woman can do anything, be anything. I’ve always had good jobs. My parents made sure I had an excellent education. I took care of college myself, as so many of us do. I went to the best Catholic schools in the State of New York. My Dad made sure. He used his vacation money. Every year I was in high school.

She would be so proud when she would praise something I did, like another job promotion, or brought home a huge Christmas bonus. I can’t describe what that did for me. I knew the next accomplishment would be bigger.

The biggest was our house. Our home. I bought us a home. I couldn’t have done it without her credit, but…I’m jumping ahead.

I was truly blessed with the best jobs. I worked from my first Clerk Typist Trainee job to Office Manager/Accounts Payable/EEO Director and a huge drywall contractor six-figure salary job. With each new job, my Mom’s eyes were always bright with pride, and of course, she told all of her sisters.

There was nothing my parents could ask me for that I wouldn’t do. Once I became of age (15), I took care of everything. Yes, I was 15. My Mom started early with me. She found out I was “smarter than the average bear cub” and ran with it. Every award was prominently on display.

I had to wear glasses from the second grade. From that time until I got my first job, she kept me in the worse glasses. On the other side of being her little genius, I have to admit that I was a little fast behind child. In the second grade, I also had my first crush. Momma put a stop to that real quick. I wore the longest dresses, skirts, ugliest glasses, and hairdos. I had short curly hair. Back then, it was called “nappy” head.

My Mother taught me I was brilliant. That I could get anything, I wanted without a man. My Mother had always been empowered. She started taking care of her family when she was 18 years old. I was brilliant so I started at 15. I’m smiling as I remember.

It was the Seventies when I started going out to party. Momma kept a tight rein on me so I was 20 when I started. We were doing good. Mom took me shopping downtown 34th Street, New York City. We went to Macy’s and Lord and Taylor.

I shopped for work in Lord & Taylors, and everything else was in Macy’s. My Mother taught me to have the very best. I was the only one without a child, the only one with a high school diploma, with a college education.

My Mother taught me how to have a good life! I worked at the best places, played at the best places…then after years of a great life, things went really bad for a while. She was there every step of the way. Picked me up every time I fell. My Mother taught me how to fall and get back up again. And again, if you have to.

My Mother taught me that you never give up on your children. You stand with them through anything, and they will stand with you in return. When the time came that I had to stand with my Mom, she was on her “Last Journey.” That’s what she called it. I gave her the very best end of life I thought she wanted. Anything and everything she wanted, she got. She was always afraid if something happened, “we wouldn’t be able to bury her.” She need not have worried. She left this life in the home she loved. The home she was so proud we built.

As I said before, that broke me a little. I had to have a short sale of the house, our house. My MS reared its ugly head, and my sons and I moved into an apartment. For a while, everything was fine as long as I kept my head down. Then it dawned on me. Since she’s been gone, I’ve been depressed, afraid, insecure, and timid for some seven years now. I seemed to always be saying, “I’m sorry.”

Then this pandemic hit. I had already been struggling under an atrociously high rent for the dump we lived in. Although the governor had a moratorium on rent, we paid ours. That didn’t seem to be enough.

I don’t know what happened, but our once “must be totally quiet I have migraines” landlady started playing thunderous music at all-night hours. The more I complained, the louder they were. Long story short, they wanted us to leave. I knew we could never afford to live in the City any longer, so I did the only thing I could do. I put my big girl panties on and left.

Left the only home I knew. Left everyone I knew. No longer depressed, timid, afraid or insecure. My Mommy’s Spirit was alive in me! No fear! I applied to the best apartment home in the City where I wanted to start over, and here I am…

The air is sweeter, and life is so much better. I am writing, something I always wanted to do. This is what she would like for me. Thank you, Mama!