Until Then...

I wonder what will you look like today?

Do you still have those beautiful eyes that could melt

hearts?

Do you still have that sunny smile that always dried up the tears

in my eyes?

I wonder if you'll remember those loving cuddles,

And;

Bedtime stories we read until you fell asleep,

resting your beautiful tired little head.

Do you still remember those wonderful holidays that we always

enjoyed?

I remember when all the caravans had flooded, and we ended up stuck inside the laundrette because the site became a swimming pool,

It thundered that day,

And we couldn't get back to our caravan for hours;

You sure found it hilarious,

You laughed about it all day!

Do you remember rolling down that hill by the pier with your siblings?

You had so much fun doing that,

And we had to remind you to eat.

Do you remember those long walks by the seafront?

Your brother was a real pain that day,

He wanted to stop at every shelter;

It took us all day to get to the beach.

Do you remember the time we used to go to the cafe after shopping when you would fall asleep in your little high-chair, covering your face in macaroni cheese?

It was such a sight to be hold!

Your beautiful baby face was covered in the stuff,

But you didn't care;

You were happy to have had a delicious meal in your tiny stomach.

We still hear you singing Bob the Builder around our house;

Who could forget that sweet voice who sang so loud that the neighbours could hear it.

We sure have and do miss you, our sweet son.

Memories don't fade,

Even when you were taken away because of trauma;

You were only four, back then,

But we still remember you like it was yesterday.

We often wonder, do you remember us?

Do you remember the strong bonds, and the love we shared that kept us all going throughout the trauma?

I often worry that you might forget who we are, because it has been so long,

But some memories can hold a mother and father, sister, brother bond, even through the deepest of trauma's when the love is so strong;

and it still is so strong.

They say when a child is taken from you at four years old,

That the memories and bonds fade too,

That child becomes someone else's child.

Maybe this part is true,

But a biological mum and father who were strongly maternally bonded to her child,

Never loses that love, just because her child is taken;

Only a parent who never really cared loses their bond with their children in such a way,

A parent who truly cared always remembers the love they shared, and that love stays with them forever.

Our love for you always remains; it never left, and it never does.

You have probably built new bonds now, with your new family,

But that doesn't ever mean that we don't care,

We truly do;

Always have, and always will,

We hope you will see this one day,

But now,

You are eighteen,

And we live in hope.

You have so much to think about, too;

Until then...

We will wait forever 'til we see you again.

Love your biological mum and dad.