Two simple moves to quickly close the psychological distance between you

Sometimes when we just meet someone, they naturally sit next to you and help you remove the hair from your shoulders, and you have no bad feelings about it.

And some people, although you have met two or three times, but you still maintain a certain distance to ta, hate ta ready to reach out to take off your hair on the shoulder, not used to two people sitting next to each other, moved to each other, sitting across the table.

The reason why there is such a degree of closeness in feelings, attitudes or behaviors is actually because of your psychological distance from the other person.

There are a few tricks to psychological distancing, which are also effective communication skills. Master a few of these tricks, and you will make the guy you like feel impressed and connected.

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Use each other's names

I think you must have had this life experience:

For example, if your name is Zhang Wenjing, some people around you may call you Zhang Wenjing, some people call you Wenjing, and some people call you quiet.

What kind of people are usually called so differently from you? Is it usually the people who are closer to you that will call you closer?

From a psychological point of view, as two people grow closer psychologically, their address will change from last name to title, then to first name, then to nickname.

In other words, name-matching is based on a relatively close relationship between two people. So, we can use that to our advantage, to bring you closer together quickly.

At this point, the studious little fairy may ask, "Teacher, I just met the boy, you let me call his nickname, this scale is too big!"

In fact, as long as you can call each other's names naturally and generously when you first meet and know each other for the first time, you can leave a mark on each other's psychology.

Because there are a lot of people in just know a person, he is afraid to call each other's name, or even if called, will also call a timid, but with a long time together, in order to gracefully call each other's name.

When using a person's name, you want to come off as natural as possible, without seeming pretentious or glib.

And, of course, you can call the boys' names a little more intimate.

For example, when the boy is called Kang Mingjun, you can naturally say "Mingjun classmate ah" and "Junjun classmate ah" when chatting, so that your psychological distance will be closer than "hello handsome boy, hello beautiful girl" such chat.

In fact, this method of narrowing the psychological distance between each other by changing the name is also widely used in the sales industry.

Good sales people know how to close the psychological distance with customers by addressing them, even in the face of a person they have never met, they can use a very natural and very friendly tone to shout out the other person's name.

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Pull up the conversation level

If you are eating in a restaurant and overhear a conversation between a man and a woman at the next table, then perhaps you can determine the level of intimacy of the question in just one minute: are you just meeting a gay person, are you just friends, or are you in love?

Regardless of the address, body language, or topic or tone of voice, you can easily tell just by the level of conversation.

Level one is cliched, such as "it's a nice day today", "how did you get here", "are you busy with work" and other topics, these are similar to the conversation when you first met a guy? So, when two people have just met, they always throw some cliches at each other.

Level two is a fact. When you talk to someone you know but don't know well, to avoid embarrassment, you often talk about facts, just as when you are in an elevator with a colleague or boss you don't know well, you will simply talk about lunch, the weather, traffic, work and so on.

Level three is a feeling and personal question, such as chatting between friends, "This takeaway I ordered today is very delicious, I recommend it to you", "I don't like summer at all, the sun is too hot". This level is actually the personal exposure chat method that I talked about frequently in the previous audio.

Level four is an expression of "we". When it comes to the weather, for example, people don't just talk about what the weather is like, not just how they feel, but "if the weather gets better later, we can hang out."

If you are a person who is very sensitive to social intuition, when you are talking to a person who is not familiar with it, and the other person says "we" or "we", then you must be able to hear these two keywords, you may be stunned for a moment, and then accept this setting, and will feel that your psychological distance is a lot closer.

So, according to this phenomenon, we can use this little technique, even if you and the guy you like only a few minutes, you can also use the "we expression" in advance, to create a sense of intimacy.

You can also skip a level or two and go straight to level three or four, or use different levels of signals at the same time to confuse the other person's feelings.

Today I'm going to share two simple, easy-to-use, and highly effective tips that you can use in your interactions with guys. Oh, yes, these two tips can also be used in other social situations.

If you want to systematically improve your level of love and chat, you can check out the "Love business chat improvement course".

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If you have any ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments section.

~This is Antoine, and I hope you find pleasure in each of my articles~