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Tips to Help Parents

Raising a Child with Special Needs

By Shelley WengerPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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Being a parent to a child with special needs is a daunting task. It is never an easy job to care for someone all day every day, and there are going to be days that seem like they will never end.

It can be hard to find joy, especially when everyone is exhausted. Parenting is a selfless job, and most of the time, by the end of the day, parents are too tired to do anything but fall into bed exhausted.

Here are some tips to help you, as a parent of a special needs child.

Though parenting is hard for everyone, it is even harder for those raising children with special needs. Most parents will tell you that it is one of the hardest things that you will likely ever do. Add in a child who needs some extra help, and it just gets harder. It is important to remember that the harder it is, the more rewarding it can be.

Remember that you don’t have to be a perfect parent. We all know parents who go above-and-beyond for their children. They only eat organic food. They spend hours on Pinterest, making sure that the snacks that they bring to school are picture-perfect. They sew costumes by hand. Those extras are nice, but they are not the only thing. You can still be a good parent, even without working so hard.

You need to learn to forgive yourself when you make mistakes. It is tough to get everything right. Unfortunately, you won’t. You are going to have to make mistakes to figure out what works for your child and what does not. You can’t live with the feeling of regret, which will not help you or your child, so it is important to forgive yourself when you make mistakes.

It is vital that you find ways to enjoy your child. He or she is unique in his or her way. Taking the time to play with your child and revel in the little things makes the whole relationship worth it.

Celebrate everything. You need to mark every milestone that your child meets, no matter how old they are. Feel free to brag to everyone when your child learns a new skill. By doing this in front of your child, he or she will also feel important and special, which is the goal of parenting.

There is nothing wrong with being jealous of other parents. Jealousy is a hard emotion when you have a child with special needs. You wish that your child could go through life as smoothly as other children. You are jealous that other children can count and say their alphabet years before you think that your child will. This makes you human, not a bad parent.

However, don’t compare your child to others. Avoiding this tendency can be hard, especially when parents love to brag when their children do things early. As long as your child continues to make progress, he or she is doing well. You need to remember this. Your child is not like anyone else, so you need to worry about him or her and nobody else!

Always remember that you are not alone. It is too easy to feel alone. Your child doesn’t fit in with other children, so it is hard to have play-dates. It can be just as hard to socialize with other parents, as you listen to how well their children are doing, compared to yours. However, there are many support groups available to help you through this challenging time.

Make time to take care of yourself. If you aren’t healthy, you won’t be able to care for your family properly. Make sure that you eat correctly and take time to fit in some exercise. Even walks in the fresh air can make a difference, especially when you are having a stressful day.

The same goes for your marriage. Parenting can be the hardest part of marriage. It takes a lot of communication and hard work to raise great children. For this reason, you need to find time to work on your marriage.

Parenting, itself, is challenging. Add in a special needs child, and everyday life can become even more difficult. While raising a child with special needs can feel isolating, it is also rewarding to see your child grow and develop.

It is essential to take time to enjoy your child every day. Your life will be so much brighter for it. You also need to stop comparing him or her to others because it can make you feel even worse. Instead, make sure that you celebrate everything, no matter how small. Both of you deserve it!

All parents make mistakes. With a special needs child, you may make even more. It is important that you let it go when you make mistakes. Also, don’t worry about being a perfect parent or you will struggle to find joy in your everyday life!

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About the Creator

Shelley Wenger

Small town country girl in southern Pennsylvania. Raising two boys on a small farm filled with horses, goats, chickens, rabbits, ducks, dogs, and a cat. Certified veterinary technician and writer at Virtually Shelley.

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