The Little Things

My mother and I never used to get along until fairly recently. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the coronavirus and its consequence of isolation, I think we would still be stuck at just acknowledging each other in the house and very mundane conversations, rather than having actual meaningful conversations and building a better relationship.

She was always on my case. “Did you leave the milk out again Maggie?” she would scream. “Noo! Ma! It wasn’t me oo! maybe it was Solo or Richie ask them!” I would hollar back. “Hey! Maggie is this what you call sweeping? Come and sweep here again! with this flimsy job you did!” I would just shake my head and sweep again.

We could never have a conversation without her pinning something one of my other siblings did on me or complaining about something I had done. We could all be watching tv and talking and she would get up and as if possessed by some spirit ask me a question not even remotely associated with what we were talking about. “So Maggie you were the one who broke the dinner plate I saw in the rubbish earlier eh?” she would ask. I would give her a shake of my head and remain quiet because I knew if I said anything remotely different from yes or no, she would consider it an insult.

“ Why don’t you ask your other children since it’s not only me you had?’’ I would say in my head. She never did this to any of my siblings only to me, which made me wonder if I had a problem. But it couldn’t be you see, for I didn’t have that problem with dad. He never complained when I did something for him. He would always thank me and maybe give me a few cedes. Granted, we never talked like long lost friends but still, we had meaningful conversations that really helped me sometimes. I could bring my report home and have many As and maybe two Bs and this woman would still complain about the two Bs, but never acknowledge the As.

My older sister Salomay usually didn’t do well in exams but Maa never reprimanded her. I just couldn’t figure out why Maa always singled me out every time something went wrong. I always thought we could get closer but it didn’t seem as if that was going to be. We were like a ship whose mast had broken off and fallen into the ocean and no matter how hard the crew tried to hoist it back unto the ship, it just kept drifting farther and farther away.

We were both emotionally isolated and detached from each other. It seemed as if we always had this great barrier between us that we couldn’t bridge, and I felt that my mother wasn’t even interested in coming together to resolve it. We couldn’t speak freely because of it and I was determined to change this. I am currently in my third year of university and I would be leaving home soon. I didn’t want to go away knowing there was this isolation between me and my mother. I knew she loved me in her own way so I decided to change the situation.

When I made the decision to bridge the gap between my mother and me, I didn’t know how to go about it since we were both very busy. I, with my school work and my mother with her business. So when the coronavirus outbreak became a pandemic and forced the whole nation into isolation, I found my chance and took it. I think it was God’s will and maybe even a blessing in disguise for me.