The Last Wish

Ben stared at the envelope; it was lilac-colored and lightly scented with the tidy loops of familiar handwriting across the front. "Benjamin Easton." He traced his finger over the elaborate 'B' and took a deep breath in. So this was really it.

June had left this to him in her will. When he had unsealed it delicately and peered in, he saw the script write out '$20,000', and pulled back surprised; that was way too much, had she had this much in savings the whole time?

June wasn't notably wealthy, especially not after all of the hospital bills. They had stacked up into a thick pile in her dresser drawer, wrapped tightly with a rubber band. Ben had helped her sort them one lazy afternoon when she felt particularly under the weather, "This one?" He asked about a bill for a lab test, "Paid." She said feebly, reaching for the teacup next to her bedside. "And this one?" Ben waved another paper in her direction; June squinted, "Hmm. Paid, I think." She sighed into her tea, "There is a reason bill paying is not in my book." Ben offered an empathetic smile, "Well, not everything is black-book-worthy." He said, setting aside the stack of bills.

She patted the foot of her bed, and he obliged, sitting gingerly on the patchwork, "You know, I've been thinking that I might not get everything done." June looked at him solemnly. Ben shook his head in protest, "Nope. We've talked about this. I can't do it without you. You're going to get better." June shook her head and smiled softly, "Such stubbornness. I wonder where you got that from." Ben reached for her small and weathered hand, "I mean it, June. Anyways, you have to stick around for my graduation. Who else will I throw my cap at? I'm pretty sure that's how that works- right?" June laughed and patted his arm, "Well, I can't miss that, can I."

Her eyes drifted to her bedside table, where a little leather book sat. Ben followed her gaze and stood up to retrieve it, "Here you go." He handed her the journal, time-worn and well-loved with crinkly pages from the time the cat spilled a whole cup of coffee over it. She delicately flipped open the pages, smiling thoughtfully as she looked through it.

The book was filled on every page with elegant handwriting and dotted with bullet points, a list, with items delicately crossed out. There were 'Learn how to rock climb' and 'Try to surf' at the top, both checked off after their road trip to California three summers back. Following that was the goal to eat a whole pound of fudge from their local candy store (Ben had gotten to influence an adventure that day.), which left both of them lying completely still on the cool tiles of the laundry room for four hours after. There was fishing in the Mississippi River and climbing to the top of a mountain, all crossed off neatly.

The list had started to feel shorter and shorter as time went on, almost aligned with June's deteriorating health. Ben felt a ping of hopelessness; maybe if he wrote more activities in the black book, time could go on longer.

He watched as June stopped on a page about halfway through the journal and stared. He knew what it said, just three words. 'Find my family.' She looked up at him with misty eyes, "I always wondered, do you think they'd even remember me? We were all so young when we went into care." Ben patted her leg, "I'm sure they would, at least Nancy would don't you think?" June dabbed her eyes delicately, "She was so young, just five years old." "I know." Said Ben hopelessly.

He had heard the story so many times before when June and her two younger siblings were split up and adopted into different families. It was the last big item on the list, and as time went on, Ben's anxiety that they would never find her siblings grew. He stood up suddenly, pushing the worry down, "We'll find them, June. I promise we will."

It had been years that June had tried to find her siblings, she had written to the agency, looked at old adoption records, scoured the phonebooks, and placed ads in the newspaper. By the time she took in Ben, he was more proficient with the internet than she was. He helped her navigate Facebook and make posts in groups and forums relaying the few details she remembered- they used to live in a small town called Brooksfield, her sister's name was Nancy, and her brother's name was Robert Jr. She was seven at the time, Nancy was five and Robert was four. Her parent's names were Jennifer and Robert Sr. There had been a few leads, but they never managed to get very far, still- June held out hope.

Ben had recently found out about a DNA test that could trace lineage, June was so excited about it they had ordered it right away, but it wasn't a guarantee they would find anything of note. They had sent in her DNA sample two weeks back, and though at the time it had seemed like her health was improving, it now felt like a race against the clock.

That night as Ben sat at his desk putting finishing touches on his English essay, his mind wandered to the DNA test. He opened up his email again for what felt like the hundredth time that week, raking through the emails. Still nothing. He sighed, his eye wandered to the promotions folder, he clicked in and looked through- his eye catching on the name, "June."

"What's this?" He wondered aloud, clicking the email. It was an alert from Facebook, notifying him of a message from someone he wasn't friends with, his brow furrowed as he clicked onto the notification.

The window popped open, revealing a message from a middle-aged woman with two kids in her profile photo, 'June Nowak' her name read. Ben looked at the message, "I think you are looking for my mother." it said, "I saw your post in one of the groups I am a part of." Ben's pulse quickened, "So far all the details match that I have seen- she knew she had a brother, and she lived in the Brooksfield area. I was even named for her sister. I would love to talk. Let me know if we can xx."

Ben rushed to respond, his fingers tripping over themselves as he quickly typed his answer, more details about June, a confirmation they'd love to meet. "We can't wait." He typed hurriedly before hitting send.

He breathed out a huge sigh as he shut his laptop; it was too late to expect a reply from her at this hour. He could barely contain his excitement about sharing this news with his June; she would be ecstatic.

The next day after leaping out of bed as soon as he heard the clinking of cutlery he burst into the kitchen to explain the message, June's eyes filled with tears immediately, "After all these years-" She began, opening her arms to Ben and giving him a tight hug, "Today's the day."

That day they pored over Mrs. Nowak's entire Facebook profile. June commented on her eyes and her friendly smile, "That's Nancy's daughter- it has to be." she reached out to touch the screen affectionately as they scrolled through her photo albums.

It didn’t take long for Mrs. Nowak to write them back, Ben sat June down in her armchair and sat across from her, clearing his throat dramatically to read the recent news. "I am so excited to meet you both," He looked up at June, grinning, "I have been searching for you for what seems like forever- it was my mother's deepest desire to find her sister." Ben's smile began to fade, "I have to tell you, she, unfortunately, died many years ago to breast cancer. I imagine this isn't the news you'd hoped for; I would still love to meet you both…" He trailed off, meeting June's solemn eyes. She took a deep breath and stood up laboriously, "June-" Ben started, throat heavy with emotion, "I'm so sorry." June offered a feeble smile as she walked into her bedroom.

June's health took a deep spiral after the news, though meeting her namesake offered some solace, it couldn't completely undo the heartbreak. After all these years, she had never once allowed herself to think her younger siblings could be dead, and now she was convinced she had lost both.

Mrs. Nowak had never been able to find Robert Jr. or any of his descendants, and June had lost the fire to keep the search up. Her illness caught up with her rapidly and there were few days when she was awake long enough to hold a conversation, much less look for her brother.

But Ben couldn't give up. The DNA test had come back with no matches to family members, so his hours were filled after school with looking through forums and social groups, scanning obituaries, communicating with Brooksfield schools, agencies, and any longtime Brooksfield residents who might have any information about June's family.

Days trickled by, first like a small stream pushed along by recent spring showers and suddenly like wild rapids. He still wasn't any closer to finding Robert.

There was a fall evening where June sat breathing with much effort, covered in crocheted blankets in her armchair as Ben hunched over his laptop- lost in newspaper archives. She watched him with gentle eyes, "Ben," She hoarsely whispered. Ben looked up, startled, "Thank you for everything you've done." She said. Ben shook his head in protest, "I still haven't found him, June-" he was cut off, "No, I'm not talking about that. I mean everything. All of it. You have given this old lady so much joy at the end of her life." Ben turned away, his eyes welling.

It was only three weeks later when June finally succumbed to her illness. She passed away peacefully in her bed, with Ben next to her until the last breath.

Being alone in the small house made it feel double in size; it was too quiet and felt cold. When she died, he had been so frustrated and confused. She wasn't supposed to die with unfinished business. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. She should have found her family. He should have been able to help her, to fulfill his promise.

One wintry night following her funeral he sat at the foot of her bed, gripping his head in his hands tightly as tears blurred his vision. He had failed.

He spotted the black book on her bedside table, filled with regret and hurt, and looking to further rub salt in his wounds, he opened up the black book and flipped open the dogeared pages, looking for the familiar three words. The promise he couldn't keep.

That's when he saw it.

The delicate line crossing out, "Find my family."

"I've always had one in you, Ben. Thank you."

He gave a shuddering sigh as he smiled through his tears, tracing his finger over the elaborate B of his name. He closed his eyes and tilted his face up, where he imagined June smiling down at him, with her gentle eyes, as he softly shut the little black book.