grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
In The First Year After My Brother
Dear Zeke, So it’s been two months and seventeen days since you killed yourself, two months and sixteen days since we found out about it. I’m still pretty mad I think. But overall I’m mostly just numb. Like, I don’t really give a shit anymore; about you, what you did, or about the things in my life in general. I no longer find joy in music or seem to have a passion for writing. And I only just found a book interesting enough to have a real desire to read it. Although one could probably argue that these things were becoming true, if not were already true, long before you killed yourself. Your actions two and a half months ago gave me a reason to respond with when people asked me why I looked sad, lonely, withdrawn or angry. And I don’t know whether to say thank you or fuck you. Thank you for helping me hide my depression, self-harm and poor self-esteem, or fuck you for stealing my thunder. Fuck you for making mom cry and leaving me to hold her together all alone. [Fuck you for making sure no one believes me when I insist that this numbness and anger were present before you killed yourself. That is has always existed in the background of my mind, only coming out to play when my protector is away.]
By Casey SilverRose7 years ago in Families
In The First Year After My Brother
A Eulogy for a Fallen Marine, Son, and Big Brother. This is probably about the thousandth speech I’ve written out and about the millionth I’ve thought up. Writing has never been strictly hard for me, but in this instance it has been nearly impossible. I have been told to write honorably about Zeke, because he’s my big brother, this is his funeral and that’s what funerals are for; to honor the dead and to give closure to the living. The problem is; I don’t feel like honoring Zeke right now. I’m not in that headspace yet. But as a Wordsmith, I am used to playing the acting role at times, putting myself back into the headspace of a past version of me, projecting myself into a future version of me or even attempting to place myself in the mind of another being entirely. So I will try my best to do the right thing and honor my brother with my words today.
By Casey SilverRose7 years ago in Families
Attachment Issues
“What cannot be communicated to the [m]other cannot be communicated to the self.” ― John Bowlby Growing up, I never really had anyone to confide in. No one to sort of cling to. I had parents, but they split up when I was little. My mum was an alcoholic, so I could never really tell her anything. Any time I tried, she was more interested in something else, or she’d get paranoid and my life would be hell for a while. My dad can’t deal with emotions. He’s pretty much a robot. And a lot of the time, I like that, because I hate overly emotional people, but when I need someone, it sucks.
By Rebecca Smith7 years ago in Families
Traci
August 22, 2016, the day that would end up drastically changing my life. It was about 3:17 in the morning when the sounds of sirens from cop cars and ambulances were screaming in the parking lot of the apartment complex. My dad stood there frozen, unable to move or speak. He was in shock. He didn’t know what to do, or how to help, she was just laying there lifeless. Her body was positioned as if she was trying to crawl, pleading for someone to help her, but it was too late. She was already too far gone. The love of his life, and my stepmother, gone at merely twenty eight years old.
By jasmine torrenti7 years ago in Families
Poverty
I received a George Orwell book for Christmas, a slim volume entitled Why I Write (1946) and I read it in a day. I was intrigued by this social -middle class- democrat Orwell who was genuinely interested in and improving the life chances of the poor working class. I’d read Animal Farm (1945) and 1984 (1949) before I was fifteen or sixteen, and perhaps briefly joined the socialist party on the back of that, but I’d not read any of his other works. I immediately down loaded a gratis copy of Down and Out in Paris and London (1933) from the George-Orwell.org website and was blown away even from page one in chapter one by his novel-esque approach to autoethnography.
By Ian Peter Loftus7 years ago in Families
Gracious lessons
Have you ever felt the absence of graciousness? I know the feeling. Every January 7th, since 2005 I have felt the absence of the one person in the world who graciousness was a daily authentic lesson on how one should treat those that don’t even recognize the need for grace.
By Marcus R Holmes7 years ago in Families
