Reflections on Individuality and the Quest for Acceptance

Remember when you were a child and things were simple, or atleast simpler. When you were at home with your mom, protected by her love, warmth and security. Feeling the thrill of watching your first cartoons, mesmerized by the beautiful colours and funny voices that excited your imagination. Playing outside in the freezing cold till your feet couldn`t handle it any more.

Remember when you met your first best friend. that very special person who was always by your side, playing almost everyday together, sharing your most personal secrets and feeling a bond that probably will never be reproduced with such purety ever again.

Last and definitely not least, experiencing your first Christmas with family, receiving presents nestled in front of the extraordinarily beautiful Christmas Tree, and understanding what tradition really feels like, an inexplicable feeling that warms our hearts, especially as a very young child.

It`s like a dream for many years, like nothing really can go wrong. Coasting through time, happy go lucky, not a care in the world. You`re very lucky if this was your childhood, the most stressfree years probably of your entire life. Obviously i`m aware that many of you didn`t benefit from this kind of family dynamic, many of you actually lived very difficult early years and I wish to say with all humility that`s truly unfair.

Then school happens. That`s usually when everything changes. All of a sudden you`re no longer the center of attention, you stand alone among many kids that for some reason look very intimidating and scary. It`s very difficult to describe the early days of school since we`re so young and remembering specific details is very difficult. I call this time in our life, the survival years. Attempting to get good enough grades in order to move forward to the next step, not fully understanding why but doing so like good sheep following the herd. Yes, there are very nice moments, playing at recess, meeting new interesting classmates, a few day trips, and hoping it will rain so we can watch the Simpsons during lunchtime in the cafeteria.

Then our first crush. Oh boy, how sweet it is. School then becomes your favourite place in the world. All you see is that very special person. All you think about is them, in the most intense, passionate and loving way. If you`re lucky, you muster the guts to talk to them and develop a connection or friendship. Or, I would imagine for most kids at that age, chicken out and fall short, regretting never making a move, so to speak.

Ok, enough of all this early childhood stuff. Let`s get to the knitty gritty. College, the moment where you realize that for some reason, you`re not that popular and you feel like people seem very alien to you. Things are moving real fast and as days go by you feel more disconnected and alone. Then, in a last desperate effort, you decide to`Pull yourself up by your bootstraps`, and unfortunately fall short.

At this point you`re in a bind, a very difficult situation that doesn`t really have any easy or pratical solutions, you`re at the crossroads and the next decision is vital to what will happen to you psychologically. I remember thinking to myself why do I feel inadequat, am I truly understanding the situation correctly or do I need to reflect and make more sense of what`s really going on. Making relative sense of the world is important and in situations like these when many unfortunate young adults give up and take the dark route, the truth is there might be better options.

Just because we apparently don`t fit in doesn`t necessarily mean that its true, it could very well be just in our imagination. Sometimes unadressed fears are the cause, they`ve possibly corrupted our ability to think straight, to analyze correctly the world around us, ultimately distorting the truth and sending us on a pathway to negativity, self pity, or anger.

Being different is a beautiful thing and the truth is we`re all different, exceptional in our own way. There`s a time when you need to branch off and live free from feeling accepted and part of the group or herd. Less is more, and when it comes to friendships its best to have one really good friend as opposed to being the` it` person in school and not really having someone that truly likes you for you. Being different is cool. When you look at all the great artists and thinkers of our time or in the past that shaped our culture, they`ve mainly been outsiders and loners, make of it what you will.

Loving yourself in my opinion is accepting the reality of the life that surrounds you. Living in the moment and paying attention to the beauty that is the world.

Whether people like you or not should be somewhat irrelevant, the important thing is whether you like yourself, and not in the way of posting 10,000 pictures of yourself on instagram but truly enjoying the intricacies of your personality and the essence of who you are and what role you have as a person on this planet. I believe we`re all beautiful people, and not one more than another. I believe its important to be humble and optimistic, take credit for your accomplishments and enjoy the accomplishments of others.

This is one person`s view and I hope I haven`t offended anyone or said anything to make someone feel uncomfortable. I`m one person who wanted to share his story, and what I hope is that I can help that one person who might take something positive from my words.

Thank you