Pregnancy During A Pandemic.

I found out I was pregnant September 20th of 2019. Having just miscarried in March I was shocked. I was scared and any other negative emotion you could put into formation. I was suppose to give birth on September 27th 2019 so finding out just 7 days before then that I was in fact pregnant again TERRIFIED me.

I fought with the thought of it and how wrong it was. Why would this happen to me? Was this going to be another miscarriage? Would my happiness once again be short lived? I wanted to be happy and I wanted to once again get on every single pregnancy app and figure what fruit my baby was the size of; I wanted to enjoy it all.

I immediately told Breyden(boyfriend) and my mom. Breyden was of course shocked and my mom, was excited. I remember her asking me why I didn't seem excited. "You wanted this last time." I did and a part of me even still wanted it now, but fear gripped me so tightly that I just couldn't find myself getting excited. I still downloaded the apps, still smiled when I was that at 4 weeks pregnant my baby was the size of a speck of saw dust.

I went to my first doctors appointment scared and nervous. The last time I was there I was so happy and excited just for it to be crushed within a few short minutes of looking at the ultrasound screen. I held my breath as the nurse looked for the baby, half hopeful but also not wanting to get my hopes up but I saw it. The quick flash of the baby and its heart beat. My heart felt heavy and full because there was in fact a tiny life growing inside of me.

Every appointment I was scared and nervous hoping that everything would still be okay and that the life growing inside of me was flourishing, and it was!

I am now 33 weeks with a healthy baby boy and I am so excited but once again so scared.

As we all know the Covid19 (Coronavirus) has been spreading like wildfire through out the U.S. I live in Mississippi, right down at the bottom which very quickly became littered with cases but despite this nothing was shutting down and I was still able to have Breyden accompany me to my regular check ups and I was very thankful for that.

My doctor then informed me that there would be a one person only rule at the hospital, and that one person once they were there wouldn't be able to leave. That was still okay, at least I could still have Breyden with me. The next appointment though he wasn't allowed to come in and now up until I give birth he will not be able to come in with me.

I never really wanted a lot of people at the hospital with me or bothering me after I just gave birth, but now that I can't have anyone there makes me sad. I missed out on simple little things like a baby shower and having visitors had the hospital which isn't anything compared to the women who have already had to give birth alone or be isolated from there babies and family right after birth.

It really just puts things into perspective about just how much we take for granted. I am going to give birth during a nation wide lockdown, a full blown pandemic but I am making the most out of it. All I hope for is that my baby is healthy, I am healthy and my family is healthy at the end of all this.

I hope that all you stay healthy during this time as well. If you are pregnant, just gave birth, about to give birth, I want you to know you are in my thoughts. We can over come this.