Penguin Run

Every June 25th, the South Pole is buzzing with activity. Aunty Claus and her band of flying penguins search the world looking for unused Christmas presents. They make sure nothing goes to waste.

The village at the South Pole is made from uneaten fruitcake bricks and lit by the florescent cherries. The penguins feast on candy canes, starlight mints and Dutch butter cookies. Ties are woven into rugs and tapestries. Aunty Claus and her minions wear ugly Christmas sweaters to mock their archrival, Santa. All other unused presents and gift wrapping are burnt to provide energy to power their village.

This operation has remained super-secret for years. It was never planned to be a secret. Honestly, the penguins were jealous of all the publicity and hoopla Christmas got. There are songs and movies. Kids leave out cookies and snacks for Santa and the reindeer. It is a worldwide event! No, their operation was a secret because nobody missed their unused presents. If a kid happened to a see a penguin taking their stuff, no one believed them.

Wilma and Wallace Rockhopper were determined to change all of this obscurity. They wanted to shine a light on the harsh working conditions at the South Pole. They complained often about their jobs, but they had no plan to change their lot in life.

One day, Wilma the librarian, in charge of burning books hid one in her purse to bring home to Wallace. “Look Wallace, it is a book on penguins,” whispered Wilma. They looked intently at the pictures and gaped at each other.

“These penguins are by the ocean. They can swim and eat fish!” cried Wallace.

“I wonder if fish tastes like peppermint. I hope not. I’m so tired of peppermint,” bemoaned Wilma. “These penguins don’t have to wear ugly sweaters either. They are beautiful just the way they are. It seems so bright out there and look at that beautiful white stuff.”

“It’s called snow,” said the more worldly Wallace. “I see it once a year when we travel around the world. The brightness is from the sun. Although we travel by night, last time I was running late and saw the sun coming up over the horizon. It was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“More beautiful than fruitcake lights?” asked Wilma.

“There is no comparison,” said Wallace.

“I envy you,” said Wilma. “I’ve never been out of these fruitcake walls. They are supposed to be keeping us safe, but I wonder. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be burning books. Maybe penguins were meant to be free like these penguins by the ocean.”

“I think I know how to break out of here,” said Wallace. “I got the idea on my last run. I found a half-eaten fruitcake.” He said with the air of someone who did not expect to be believed.

Wilma was incredulous. “You can eat fruitcake! I thought it was construction material.”

Wallace tentatively took a nibble. “On the positive side, it doesn’t taste like peppermint. It is more like a Dutch butter cookie with random stuff in it. I think if we ate a little bit every day, we might be able to get out of here in about five months.”

“Five months,” exclaimed Wilma. “That is a long time, but it is better than never. It should be summer by then. Maybe we could go to the ocean and eat fish!”

Five months later, Wilma and Wallace were standing outside their fruitcake walls in the bright sunshine. The ocean was nowhere in sight and the snow was cold on her feet. “The ocean must be a long way off, maybe we made a mistake,” said Wilma.

Wallace replied, “No stopping now. Gather as much fruitcake as you can in your purse. We will just keep walking north, until we get to the ocean.”

After a month of travel, they had reached some steep mountains. Wilma and Wallace stopped and cried. They were out of fruitcake and saw no way over these mountains. “I wish, I had just burned that book like I was supposed to. The fruitcake walls were protecting us.”

“If only I could just fly over these mountains like I can when I’m attached to the sleigh,” wailed Wallace. “Then we could get to the ocean.” Just then they heard a distant jingle and cheery “Ho, ho, ho!” Santa had come!

“Merry Christmas! I heard someone wanted a trip to the ocean. Climb aboard,” he laughed. Their archrival had become their savior. Wilma and Wallace screamed “Freedom” as they flew.

The ocean was just as exciting as they thought. The cold fish wiggled in their throats. The sun warmed their sweater-less bodies. Freedom felt good and was worth the effort. They dutifully told the people at the scientific station about the penguins trapped at the South Pole. They went into as much detail as they could remember, but humans don’t speak penguin. So, the secret operations of Aunty Claus remain a secret to this day.