My Strength

My mummy is the most beautiful person I have ever seen. She is so pretty, funny, smart, and so kind to everyone. She is also very brave, and when she went on holidays, she took me with her because my dad was working so hard all day long that he barely had time to look after me.

“Don’t you worry, sweetheart,” she told me when we were out at sea. “I’m gonna make sure you have a wonderful, exciting summer! We’ll go to every single place you like!” We stayed there for a week, just the two of us. And every night after we got out from our hotel rooms, we would walk along the beach and eat ice cream or take a dip in the ocean, and then we would always end up in bed, and I would fall asleep as soon as we laid down.

One day we went shopping, and when we came home, my father had brought an envelope with him, with money for dinner. He kept it next to our dinner, and said “Look at what your mother and I bought you. It’s from Australia. Do you want it?” I didn’t know what to say. I was so excited but scared too. My mom loved Australia and wanted to visit more often, but my father only spoke about the cold winters and the hot summers and the fact that his health wasn’t good enough anymore. But I didn’t tell him any of these things. My first priority was to keep my parents happy. So I shook my head yes and thanked them both.

I tried not to cry while they left for work again, and I didn’t cry for days after that. The day I turned twelve was the best birthday I could have wished for. I still remember the way my heart started beating faster when I opened the envelope. Inside, there was a brand new bicycle, which I had never ridden before in my whole life. The bike’s handlebars were bright red with tiny orange flowers embroidered into them. There was a little tag attached to the front saying ‘To Kookie’ in my mother’s handwriting. That afternoon, as I rode my new bike around the house, I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt like I was flying. When I reached the backyard, where my mother was watering her plants, she called me over and asked if I was okay. I looked at her and smiled even wider. I nodded and pointed at the bike. “What do you think of it?” she asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I thought about everything that was happening. I was finally starting school, I had found a brand new bicycle, and I was getting a birthday gift from my mother. Everything seemed like a dream. And then, for no reason that I could understand, my eyes filled with tears. I started crying, and my mother pulled me close and let me hug her. Then my father walked out onto the back porch and joined us for a hug too. “Happy birthday, kiddo! I love you with my life. ” my father said. “Thank you dad” I replied. It was the first time anyone had ever told me that.

I don’t remember much else about my birthday other than the way my mother’s arms felt around me. But one thing I can say for certain: nothing beats spending the day with people you love. Even if it’s not forever.

****

When I graduated high school, my mother gave me a small box of chocolates. “Open it now,” she instructed, handing it to me. I did as I was told, wondering how something so simple could be making me feel so curious. Once I opened the box, my mouth dropped open. Inside was a white locket with a picture of my mother, my father, and myself on the front. On the inside, I saw three names engraved into the silver metal. Mama, Papa, and Kookie. After a while, I decided that that was my name.

Every morning since I was young, I would put on the locket around my neck and stare at the picture of myself in the mirror. Whenever I closed my eyes, I could imagine what my life was like when I was younger. It was nice to pretend that I was the happiest kid in the world. At least until I became old enough to start doing something about it.

***

I am twenty-one years old, but I’ve been living with my family since i was a child up until I turned sixteen. I get to finally move from Kansas to Illinois for college and now, I live alone. I’m not sure how I ended up here, actually. After graduating from high school, I realized that I needed something a little bigger than a city, and maybe, just maybe, I’ve found it.

I'm building the life of my dreams. Thank you mummy for being my strength.