My Life Dealing with a Child Diagnosed with Autism and Epilepsy

I never thought how hard it would be to be a single mother. So far, I had my ups and downs with my son Xavier with all scheduling conflicts with work and my son's school I've been enjoying it. Somewhat like I said I had my ups and downs.

If you thought my life as a single mother is tough, this is where it gets tougher. My son Xavier is nine years old, he is nonverbally autistic and he has epilepsy. It happened 3 years ago when my son was 2 years old. When he was 2, he wasn't acting very verbally, he would cry for no reason, not even look at me when I tried to call his name like it only took him twice to call his name, he wouldn't play with his toys just stack like "junk"(used bottle caps, strings from towels, small things he collects from the floor, toys, papers, paper clips, etc.) puts it on the bed. Xavier was clapping and flapping his hands out of excitement, jumping up and down when he was upset or having a meltdown. Despite my son's nonverbal communication, he was very good with his motor skills. He knows how to push objects, eat food with utensils, put his plate on the table, wash his hands when I command him to, and his toilet-trained is on and off.

He did say some words until he turned three and it strangely faded and he started to act like a lost child. I still didn't understand why but I just thought maybe it would pass he would eventually talk maybe in a few years or maybe months when he was ready. We went to his pediatrician and they gave us sources to help him with his ability to speak. First, we tried at-home ABA therapists who would come over to our house every morning to help with his ability. When they did the final test evaluation, they said he was developing like a 7-month-old, and mind you, he was 2 years old. They told us to take him to the developmental center, they had tried to test his motor skills and communication skills but still, my son wouldn't respond, or follow directions and that’s when she said the word I never thought she would say:

"Autism".

I was shocked but my mom was in tears to hear that my son has autism. The kind of words we were not expecting to hear for his age. I still don’t want to believe it was true. I kept trying to push him to talk but it got more difficult and I just gave up and accepted my son's autism diagnosis. As for his epilepsy, I never thought it would link to my son's autism diagnosis. It started after he was diagnosed with autism, it was like every other normal day my mom gave him this biscuit that contained nuts, now at the time this was when his skin started to have an allergic reaction. My family and I grew concerned so we took him to the emergency medical center to treat his allergy reaction. After the medical center, the doctor treated him with Benadryl (until we found out from his doctor that he was allergic to Benadryl months after) and sent us a prescription for his allergic reaction. After we left, we went to CVS since Walmart was closed and they had to send it to CVS pharmacy. We waited in line waiting for his medicine to be ready until his hand turned pale and his lips changed into a different color. My mom told me to buy him a bottle of water believing that he was dehydrated so I went to buy a bottle of water luckily an off-duty police officer noticed something wrong and that’s when he had his first seizure. When I got there I saw my poor ill little boy lying on the ground with the off-duty cop next to him talking with the dispatcher. Two minutes later, we went to Shady Grove Hospital and stayed there until 1 am. After that seizure, his seizures continued on and on once a week then the next month the next day, and another day. He was diagnosed with epilepsy at the Children's Hospital in DC on Halloween. Despite his autism and his epilepsy diagnosis, I try every day not to get anxious about his seizures even though it was hard to accept the same thing with his autism. It can get easy and it can get complicated. So far, Xavier has spoken three words like a nine-month-old baby, and this year no seizures (always top tier with his meds).

"Xavier is my world my life my everything. Yes, I struggle with his development problems and seizures time and time again. He's my son I would give up everything for my son. Even if it means relationships. He's the only one I live for. He may not communicate but he will eventually. I pray to God to give him life the fullest than my life. What matters is my son alive and breathing. I love my child regardless. I'm accepting it. And to all the children who have autism and epilepsy. You are stronger and beautiful and God will give you strength and make you stronger. As a mother, I am strong and I am used to it and I will best teacher I can be to support my son. ❤❤❤❤❤"

My Instagram and Facebook post on Xavier

Sources on Autism and Epilepsy

Here are some sources on Autism and Epilepsy:

If you want to learn more about autism, you can take a coursera.org. Search for Autism and it will give a list of courses on Autism. And the courses are 100% free. Also, I am working on a podcast called My Autistic Son & Me and if you want to listen to my podcast it is now available in all podcast directories.

My YouTube vlog on Xavier

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