More than a Memory

There are five people that I wanted to cover. My dad, my mom, my godfather, my godmother, and my brother. All five people had a specific role in my life, two of them still do. Some people come and go in your life, for one reason or another I suppose.

My dad shaped me. I lost him at such a young age. For 15 years I had him on this Earth. For 15 years he was my best friend. He taught me everything I knew about chickens, wood work, plants, replanting, fishing, patience, resilience, stubbornness, bullheadedness, passed on my love of cars, my love of animals, the love of working with my hands, my talent of art... without him I wouldn't be who I am today. He gave me a strong worth ethic and made me a very disciplined person. I worked until what I was working on was done, and I did my best at it. I gave my all, and my all was enough. He encouraged my love of horses and didn't stop me when I wanted to be with them at the barn. When I lost him, I lost my best friend. We were inseparable.

My mom fueled my love of horses. She taught me love and patience, supported my love and career of riding, she guides me through everyday life through things that I can't understand, she teaches me how to cook, bake, sew, bank and properly do taxes, sign on cars and my truck, helps me when I cannot support myself through my medical and health problems. Without her I would not be able to keep going. I am forever grateful I still have her in my life, she is my best friend and I know she misses my dad greatly. We both do. She is an incredibly strong woman and I don't think she realizes how strong she really is. She does her very best at what she does and I try my best to follow in her footsteps. She always tells me to do my very best even if I'm not able to finish something. She always puts us first; sometimes I wish she would put herself first. She has a huge heart, and cares for more than herself.

My godfather, Ron, effortlessly took over the role of being a father for my dad when he passed on. He looked after me and guided me when my dad died. He took me on fishing trips when my dad couldn't. He taught me about cars, told me stories about his drag racing days, taught me how to use power tools safely, and properly do maintenance on a ranch. My dad knew him when I had first started learning about horses when I was 10 years old. Whenever I was hesitant with horses when I was younger, Ron was always there to help me when I was nervous. He always had a calm demeanor; he never panicked even when a horse was panicking. He could calm a rider down without any problem. It set a good example to me and others about handling situations, not everyone could handle something like Ron could. He always taught us the easiest ways to figure things out or how to put something together, the simplest ways to build something, or how to organize things. "Make the wrong thing hard, and the right thing easy.", as both him and Clairese would say referring to doing things with and without the horses.

Ron had also attended my dad's funeral with his wife, Clairese and it had meant a lot to me and my family. Ron had lost his battle to end stage COPD and passed quietly. Whenever we were together, he always introduced me as his daughter. He was family to me and always will be.

Clairese, my godmother, we didn't end on the greatest note but I am including her as she had made a significant impact on my life. She started me on my horse journey. She was the first one at my family's side when my dad passed away. She taught me how to handle the strongest, sorest, and hottest of horses. She's the reason why I know so much about horses. And I wouldn't have my horse if it wasn't for her. She would also make sure you were doing something the correct way, correct you if you were doing something wrong, and point you in the right direction. She had a very strong worth ethic and would try to teach others to have pride in their work, to have something they were proud of. She was a strong and noble horsewoman. And for all of that, I will always thank her for.

My brother Stephen, he's autistic, he always has a smile on his face, even when he isn't in the best of moods. He introduces me to different games, movies, and shows that me and my mom would like. He never lets things get him down. He tries to look on the bright side as much as he can. He helps out when he can, especially if my mom and I aren't feeling well. I feel like I could learn something from him. He's a good older brother and I'll always be thankful that he's in my life. He's a wonderful influence. I wish I could be as happy as him and be in a good mood as often as him but I don't think I can be. But at least he's here to try and cheer everyone up when he can. I love having him around.

These five people made the biggest impact on my life. They are the ones that really shaped my life's journey. I've always been a hotheaded person that struggled with her emotions and that heightened so much after my dad died. Each person was there at a specific time in my life to help me. It helped me grow to the successful person who I am today. It helped me heal from the wounds that I had from losing my dad all those years ago.