Mom Guilt Is So Last Year

We've all been there. We promised our kid we'd read with them. We'd take them to the park. We'd cook something. No, you're not alone and no, you're not a bad parent.

I FEEL YOU when you say you don't have the time to do the things you need to get done. I HEAR YOU when you say there are not enough hours in the day. I ALSO SCREAM into pillows when nobody is looking.

I think since we're all in this parenting thing together, we need a plan. What if we made small, simple changes that could be done from the comfort of our home, give us some much needed 'me time', and keep our kids entertained?

You don't have to try for a full year and inevitably fail by setting resolutions you're not sure will work for you. Small, incremental steps are way more obtainable. Maybe some will stick, maybe they won't, but we are guaranteed to find at least one thing that works for us. Remember, we can't add extra hours in the day. We're still going to be just as busy in 2022 as we were in 2021, but we can choose to help our kids be more independent while still making whatever time we have together better spent. Mark your calendars, pals.

Here are simple ways to step into 2022 with more time for you while leaving your "mom guilt" in the dust!

Make an inviting reading nook for your kids.

It doesn't have to be anything expensive or fancy. Find a free old chair or some piece of furniture that's big enough for you to sit with your child. If you have a small house like mine, use the space you have. Pictured is my daughter's reading corner. It was cheap, easy to set up, and she loved it. The best part is, if your child is old enough to read on their own, you get to sit in peace for at least a half hour aside from occasionally assisting with pronunciation. One book a week is just four for the whole month. If you find it easy to add into your routine without stress, keep it up. If it doesn't mesh well with your schedule, that's totally ok. You don't have to keep up with all of these tips. Who's gonna tell on you? Not me. Plus, you have now created a space that can be used by anyone at any time. The kids are guaranteed to spend more time reading if they find their space comforting.

Introduce your children to podcasts and audiobooks

Looking for an alternative to screen time? Try introducing your kids to a family friendly podcast or audiobooks. They can listen to them while playing in their rooms, on daunting road trips, or even with headphones at the grocery store. They use less battery power than watching videos and I feel they provide a more immersive experience than television. I'm not at all saying no screen time. I am also guilty of too much of that. I'm saying this could be something your children grow to love. They require little setup on your part and give you and your child much needed quiet time. When you have extra time, find one you may both enjoy and listen together from the comfort of a blanket fort.

Try online educational classes

My daughter takes two classes a week on Outschool. It's a website where kids can learn from educators around the world and make new friends while learning. She takes one Lego class on Thursdays hosted by a former Lego set creator and a drawing class on Fridays hosted by a freelance artist. She recognizes her friends in the classes each week and they've all grown pretty close. Those two hours a week are a life-saver for when I have assignments and projects due. I'm sure there are other sites that provide similar services, but I can only personally vouch for Outschool.

Have your kids write down the snacks they want for the month

I'm so serious. This is my six-year-old's actual list. It's fun for them, super cute, and takes the guesswork out of what to buy at the grocery store. Yes, she did get her goomy bers. I'm not a mom to keep everything my kid ever does, but I'll probably keep her grocery lists forever.

Give them age appropriate "jobs"

The fastest way to make chores seem fun is by giving your child a job. My child is a "gardener". She's six, and it's her responsibility to make sure light is turned on and off for our houseplants and to water them once every couple of days. If you go with keeping up with plants, get small ones that don't require much upkeep and can be brought back from the brink of death if your kid calls in sick or forgets to do their job. She takes it so seriously, and it's a great fifteen minute break twice a day that I use to make coffee in the mornings and take a much needed breather in the evening.

Other ideas for jobs depending on your child's age:

• Security officer (make sure doors are locked before bed to create good bedtime habits)
• Stuffed animal inventory specialist (put all stuffed animals where they belong each night and make sure none have escaped to promote organization skills)
• Vet tech (feed pets, give them attention daily to teach responsible pet ownership)
• Barista (refill water in coffee maker, change out coffee filters, and keep the coffee storage stocked - teaches an older kid responsibility for inventory)
• Product tester (give them several kinds of toothpaste, lotion, etc. and have them review each one, encouraging good hygiene)
• Movie critic (encourage your child to watch a movie and then write what they liked or disliked to promote writing and critical thinking skills)
• Doctor (this is for the parents like me who have chronic migraines... be honest. It's ok to tell them you have a migraine. Tell them you need to be in a dark, quiet room for a while and ask if they can be a doctor by getting a wet rag, blanket, or comfy pillow. It makes them feel so important and helps them understand empathy)

Teach your kids to text trusted individuals under your supervision

This one may be controversial, but let me explain. I started teaching my six-year-old how to text recently. It's helped her to recognize words, learn to type, and I promise your loved ones will be so happy. I have to be in the room when she texts (she does not have her own phone and uses mine) and she can only text people like her father or our parents. My mom was elated the first time she received a text from my daughter. They just had silly back and forth conversation, but they both really enjoyed it. After I let her text my mother-in-law, I got a text saying how much she appreciated that I let her do that. Small things like this are great ways to bond without having to leave your home. It's also a great opportunity to teach safe phone usage and establish who the trusted contacts are for when she eventually gets a phone of her own... which is WAY down the line.

I hope these suggestions help you to find time as a family, time for yourself, and more time in general in 2022. Here's to a safe, relaxing, and fun new year as we raise our tiny humans.